Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 12:43 PM
Message-ID: <3BB0B441.C4257A90@sheayright.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> I shall henceforth consciously strive to eat the hell out of that
> hamburger, make a lot of noise or whatever, and appreciate to the
> fullest the Slack I have, and figure out how best to use it to SERVE MY
> SUBGENIUS COUNTRYMEN, CONTINENTMEN, AND PLANETMEN. And COUNTRYWOMEN,
> CONTINENTWOMEN, AND PLANETBABES.

I've been thinking of moving to Long Island ("Lawnk Ilint" as it's called
there). If I do, I'll no longer be on the continent, strictly speaking.

Will this make me an INCONTINENTMAN?

If so, then I want a cape and a leotard that says so.

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
"WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"

Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
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Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 1:53 PM
Message-ID: <3BB0C4B4.7880@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> I was laying in bed watching a Batman movie.

Sounds like it's TIME for a little TIME control TIME.

Just remember, it's September, 1942. All of THE BOYS
are marching off to do battle with the "Nazees", not
even knowing how to pronounce it yet.

But YOU already know how it all is going to end. All
of the uncertainty is over. Hitler will be killed.
The BOMB will be dropped on Japan. Commies will become
the new bad guys.

BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!

WHY?

Because if you start blabbing, the WAR DEPARTMENT will
send around some MUSCLE, and you'll either end up being
put in a rubber room or strapped to a table in some
secret Army Air Corps base up in Nevada, while doctors
inject you with stuff from stainless steel syringes.

So you walk down the street. Women walk by who are
collecting aluminum for "The War Effort". Men glare at
you, wondering why you haven't signed up. In the pocket
of your patched tweed pants is a ration book, a few old
coins and a boy scout pocket knife. Your left shoe has
a hole in its sole--you've tucked a piece of newspaper
in there to protect your foot.

You pull your hat down low and avoid looking people
in the eye. But you have the feeling that someone is
following you down the street. You wish the aliens would
hurry up and arrive to pick you up, before the people see
through your disguise and hunt you like a dangerous animal.

You stop in front of a store window. Inside you can hear
the radio. It says that the police are looking for an
insane killer. The description they give matches you
perfectly. You wonder if the FBI is already on to you.
There is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. A small boy
runs into you by accident:

"Heeey Mishter! Heeey Mishter! Har hnoo goin' go fight
a-thnemn Nosthees?" he says, through his horrible speech
impediment. You look at him with a sense of horror and
disgust. Your thick, gnarled hands reach out towards his
throat, seemingly of their own volition. You don't want
to, but YOU MUST KILL AGAIN!

Then you feel the crunch of metal on the back of your skull
and everything goes black.

--
"Nature abhors a peasant. You will soon see
a violent demonstration of this fact."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 2:21 PM
Message-ID: <250920011421483894%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3BB0B441.C4257A90@sheayright.com>, Artemia Salina
<y2k@sheayright.com> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> > I shall henceforth consciously strive to eat the hell out of that
> > hamburger, make a lot of noise or whatever, and appreciate to the
> > fullest the Slack I have, and figure out how best to use it to SERVE MY
> > SUBGENIUS COUNTRYMEN, CONTINENTMEN, AND PLANETMEN. And COUNTRYWOMEN,
> > CONTINENTWOMEN, AND PLANETBABES.
>
> I've been thinking of moving to Long Island ("Lawnk Ilint" as it's called
> there). If I do, I'll no longer be on the continent, strictly speaking.
>
> Will this make me an INCONTINENTMAN?
>
> If so, then I want a cape and a leotard that says so.

In the nearby Walgreens Drugstore is an aisle boldly marked,
"INCONTINENTS."

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 4:01 PM
Message-ID: <20010925160138.21345.00000681@mb-fr.aol.com>

>From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"

>Guilt tripping over yelling at Huey.
I found that whole exchange to be enlightening. Not knowing either of you
personally, I couldn't follow some of the details, but it did reflect to me
things I'd said and done (or neglected to) with friends and family of my own.
Thanks to you both, for playing out a dialog which set me thinking. I hope you
gained insight from it, too.

Yeah, wartime sucks, especially when it ain't a real war, and we're not going
to have a real earned gut blowout after it's over, because there won't BE any
AFTER to it. Imagine there's no countries, and Keep On Rockin' in the Free
World.

Anyone sick of tv? I suggest re-reading the Sacred Texts - the Book of the
SubGenius and Revelation X (or just look at the pictures). Hell, even the
Pamphlets contain ample supplies of instant answers to everything - that (and
Slack) are all a SubG needs, until (and through) these pitiful end times.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: discordian99@yahoo.com (Rev. Glandgland)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 5:15 PM
Message-ID: <1f6b045d.0109251315.7673fabd@posting.google.com>

Only thing that seemed to "help" me at all was to call some people up
and go jam. Gotta smoke pot. Use your guitar or drumkit. It won't
make it go away but this nervous tension makes for a killer jam
session. Roll a tape. That's right get off your ass and wipe the
gunk off the strings and pick the shit up and load it in your car.

Listening to music sucks, TV sucks...all of it. Seems empty that way.
Has to be in your hands. Got to work it and feel those hand cramps.
Only thing helped me was a real jam session. Don't matter how bad it
sounds, you won't hear it anyway. Something interesting has happened
on tape the last two times we jammed.

Don't know why.

rev.glangland

Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com> wrote in message news:<3BB0B441.C4257A90@sheayright.com>...
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> > I shall henceforth consciously strive to eat the hell out of that
> > hamburger, make a lot of noise or whatever, and appreciate to the
> > fullest the Slack I have, and figure out how best to use it to SERVE MY
> > SUBGENIUS COUNTRYMEN, CONTINENTMEN, AND PLANETMEN. And COUNTRYWOMEN,
> > CONTINENTWOMEN, AND PLANETBABES.
>
> I've been thinking of moving to Long Island ("Lawnk Ilint" as it's called
> there). If I do, I'll no longer be on the continent, strictly speaking.
>
> Will this make me an INCONTINENTMAN?
>
> If so, then I want a cape and a leotard that says so.
>
> --
> Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
> "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
>
> Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> ** SPEED ** RETENTION ** COMPLETION ** ANONYMITY **
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> http://www.usenet.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 5:14 PM
Message-ID: <44sqo9.js1.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <3BB0B441.C4257A90@sheayright.com>,
Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com> wrote:
>
>I've been thinking of moving to Long Island ("Lawnk Ilint" as it's called
>there). If I do, I'll no longer be on the continent, strictly speaking.

Sorry, but *strictly* speaking you're still on the continent
until you get out to sea far enough to be off the continental shelf and
over oceanic crust.

>Will this make me an INCONTINENTMAN?
>
>If so, then I want a cape and a leotard that says so.

Don't let facts get in the way of following a wonderful dream like that.

LOOK! up in the sky!! It's a bird, its a plane....

OH SHIT! It's INCONTINENTMAN!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAND ME AN UMBRELLA!

--
-------
I have burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, and I am still
alive. --Dan Povenmire, Los Angeles
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 5:07 PM
Message-ID: <slrqo9.l31.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <250920011056189961%stang@subgenius.com>,
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>However, I understand that the best thing that a small businessman like
>me can do in a situation like this is MAKE AS MUCH FUCKING MONEY AS I
>POSSIBLY CAN, and SPEND IT AS FAST AS I POSSIBLY CAN. And FORNICATE and
>JACK OFF and MAKE NUTTY PICTURES and EAT as if my very life depended on
>it!! I will turn up the music and run up my credit card and say FUCK
>IT!!

Fuck, yeah!

These here times, they are a FUCKED UP MESS! But unless you're
one of the poor bastards stuck cleaning up that mess, then the BEST
POSSIBLE thing you or the rest of us can do is LIVE LIKE the
DAMNED-HELL-ASS-KINGS we are!

FORNICATE! MASTERBATE! EXCRAMEDITATE! and all the other ATES too!

--
-------
I have burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, and I am still
alive. --Dan Povenmire, Los Angeles
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 6:44 PM
Message-ID: <3bb108d3.30333982@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> hunched over a computer,
typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> laughed
madly, then wrote:

>In article <3BB0B441.C4257A90@sheayright.com>, Artemia Salina
><y2k@sheayright.com> wrote:
>
>> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>>
>> > I shall henceforth consciously strive to eat the hell out of that
>> > hamburger, make a lot of noise or whatever, and appreciate to the
>> > fullest the Slack I have, and figure out how best to use it to SERVE MY
>> > SUBGENIUS COUNTRYMEN, CONTINENTMEN, AND PLANETMEN. And COUNTRYWOMEN,
>> > CONTINENTWOMEN, AND PLANETBABES.
>>
>> I've been thinking of moving to Long Island ("Lawnk Ilint" as it's called
>> there). If I do, I'll no longer be on the continent, strictly speaking.
>>
>> Will this make me an INCONTINENTMAN?
>>
>> If so, then I want a cape and a leotard that says so.
>
>
>
>In the nearby Walgreens Drugstore is an aisle boldly marked,
>"INCONTINENTS."

"CLEAN UP IN AISLE 4!"

"Again ..."

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Jesus started out as a man and has become clip art. "Bob" started out as
clip art and has become a man.

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

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Original file name: Re- This War Shit Is Freaking M - converted on Wednesday, 10 October 2001, 17:00