Subject: Re: Sporked...

From: "skullcracker" <bonehead714@nospamhotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 1:47 PM
Message-ID: <3b9f9f89$0$1519$4c5ecdc7@news.erinet.com>

you can make a pretty nasty cutting device from a toothbrush and a cinder
block,
now where did I learn that???
And I'm pretty sure getting jabbed in the eye with a spork would pretty much
incapacitate
most airline stewards....
Jonny Bravo

--
Some People Fall For Everything ..Others Stand For Nothing
http://boneheadgrafix.tripod.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 12:55 PM
Message-ID: <3B9F938A.89EB122B@carbon.cudenver.edu>

Scarry Wisdom wrote:
>
> MSNBC:
>
> "The Boston Herald said passengers making cell phone calls from one or
> more of the hijacked planes had reported the hijackers had used
> plastic knives to stab flight attendants and take control."
>
> I said ceramic. Close.

Yeah, carbon fiber would have worked. We will have to follow Jerry
Falwell's advice and watch the Arabs on the planes very carefully
from now on.

--
John Starrett
"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 1:03 PM
Message-ID: <3B9F956A.DFA6B0C7@carbon.cudenver.edu>

John Starrett wrote:
<snip>
>
> Yeah, carbon fiber would have worked. We will have to follow Jerry
> Falwell's advice and watch the Arabs on the planes very carefully

Funny, the spell check suggested Falafel to replace Falwell...

--
John Starrett
"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 1:21 PM
Message-ID: <ri5on9.pnr.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <tsLn7.2737$lE3.258844@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>,
St. Marc the Perpetually Amused <disciple@templeoferis.org> wrote:
>
>I assure you that if I wanted to, I could get a gun on an airplane. This
>afternoon. Heightened security or not. I *don't* want to. And I'm not
>*going* to. But if I, who just has a perverse turn of mind, could do it,
>dedicated fanatics with more money and time to plan than I do would have an
>even easier time of it.

it's not difficult.

>
>What I thought of this morning was some sort of control-kill switch linked
>to the hijack alarm - which obviously needs to be more accessible. If
>tripped, the plane would go into "straight and level" auto-pilot and not

Well, I think the first step might be to have a nice locked door
made out of bulletproof lexan to seperate the cockpit that can only be
opened on the ground or from the inside. Clever people could do clever
things with timelocks and so forth to make this system work in different
ways, but essentially that's just a more complex locked door.

Just something simple and obvious.

--
-------
I have burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, and I am still
alive. --Dan Povenmire, Los Angeles
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 2:36 PM
Message-ID: <120920011436482049%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <tsLn7.2737$lE3.258844@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>,
St. Marc the Perpetually Amused <disciple@templeoferis.org> wrote:

>
> I assure you that if I wanted to, I could get a gun on an airplane. This
> afternoon. Heightened security or not. I *don't* want to. And I'm not
> *going* to. But if I, who just has a perverse turn of mind, could do it,
> dedicated fanatics with more money and time to plan than I do would have an
> even easier time of it.
>

As Legume pointed out last night, hell, even convenience stores have
armed guards... why not planes. Well, that's a hell of a lot of planes.
I predict that in the future, however, one of the stewards, or perhaps
unmarked crew disguised as passengers, will always be "packing". Every
flight will have a plain looking guy who just sits there on the plane
all day long, reading magazines and keeping a big weapon.

I have been horrified at what I am routinely allowed to carry aboard
planes -- my briefcase usually has many tools in it, including three
large folding knives that probably are just under some allowable limit
in size. About once every 10 flights they actually open my carry-on and
examine it. (Pisces pointed out that that's probably because I look
more "coot" than "terrorist.")

Security is much tighter at European airports, and I imagine we'll get
used to that level. Hell, most of us already are willing to pee in a
cup to prove we can operate office equipment safely, and pay the
government half our income for that very privilege, so I doubt if we'll
complain all that much at having roto-scanners crammed up our butts by
happy airline personnel with fresh rubber gloves on.

Any 'fropper is aware that we're already surrounded by unmarked police
cars. We can simply expect more unmarked public servants on planes as
well.

Ticket prices might go up some.

That's my prediction, but, I've been known to be wrong.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 2:59 PM
Message-ID: <3b9fb058.3803706@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu> hunched over a computer,
typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu> laughed
madly, then wrote:

>John Starrett wrote:
><snip>
>>
>> Yeah, carbon fiber would have worked. We will have to follow Jerry
>> Falwell's advice and watch the Arabs on the planes very carefully
>
>Funny, the spell check suggested Falafel to replace Falwell...

lol

I get the same thing in word 7.

Maybe it's trying to tell us something. Like don't be too quick to
differentiate between one fanatic and another.

Or something.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey butane in my veins and I'm out to get the junky
- Beck

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 2:57 PM
Message-ID: <3b9fb028.3755412@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)
hunched over a computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop
Prostata Cantata MP) laughed madly, then wrote:

> Just something simple and obvious.

And too late ...

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence
by means of language.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 3:45 PM
Message-ID: <GXOn7.3039$lE3.290512@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:120920011436482049%stang@subgenius.com...
> In article <tsLn7.2737$lE3.258844@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>,
> St. Marc the Perpetually Amused <disciple@templeoferis.org> wrote:
> I have been horrified at what I am routinely allowed to carry aboard
> planes -- my briefcase usually has many tools in it, including three
> large folding knives that probably are just under some allowable limit
> in size. About once every 10 flights they actually open my carry-on and
> examine it. (Pisces pointed out that that's probably because I look
> more "coot" than "terrorist.")

If you don't fit the profile, on you go. I've carried large knives *I forgot
I had* onto planes. I look respeckable. No problem. One guy over in
rec.photo.digital said on one trip he carried a camera bag onto several
planes, through the scanner every time, one hand-search. When he got home,
he discovered a loaded revolver (!) in the bottom of the bag he'd forgot he
put in there.

As somebody else put it, hopefully this will put some spine into people.
From now on, you should just assume that the terrorists plan to kill you all
anyway and take them down. There were over a hundred people on some of those
planes. Sheer weight of numbers would have beaten the terrorists even if
they'd had *guns,* let alone knives.

St. Marc
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 4:37 PM
Message-ID: <3b9fc5e1.9316928@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

"St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org> hunched
over a computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
<disciple@templeoferis.org> laughed madly, then wrote:

>
>"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
>news:120920011436482049%stang@subgenius.com...
>> In article <tsLn7.2737$lE3.258844@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>,
>> St. Marc the Perpetually Amused <disciple@templeoferis.org> wrote:
>> I have been horrified at what I am routinely allowed to carry aboard
>> planes -- my briefcase usually has many tools in it, including three
>> large folding knives that probably are just under some allowable limit
>> in size. About once every 10 flights they actually open my carry-on and
>> examine it. (Pisces pointed out that that's probably because I look
>> more "coot" than "terrorist.")
>
>If you don't fit the profile, on you go. I've carried large knives *I forgot
>I had* onto planes. I look respeckable. No problem. One guy over in
>rec.photo.digital said on one trip he carried a camera bag onto several
>planes, through the scanner every time, one hand-search. When he got home,
>he discovered a loaded revolver (!) in the bottom of the bag he'd forgot he
>put in there.
>
>As somebody else put it, hopefully this will put some spine into people.
>From now on, you should just assume that the terrorists plan to kill you all
>anyway and take them down. There were over a hundred people on some of those
>planes. Sheer weight of numbers would have beaten the terrorists even if
>they'd had *guns,* let alone knives.

I've been reading more of the stuff where people called out on cell
phones while they were dying.

I get the impression that they did jump the fuckers on the flight that
crashed in Pennsylvania. A sad ending, but who knows how many
thousands of lives they might have saved?

The worst thing is, the people who did jump the terrorists will never
know what they did. At the time, they had no way of knowing what was
planned with the jet. And they really had no absolute way of knowing
they were going to die anyway. It's just sad that they'll never know
how right their choice was.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped,
it always lands with the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast
to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover, inches above the ground. With a giant
buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with
Chicago.
-- John Frazee

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 12, 2001 6:31 PM
Message-ID: <feovpt4nnn6bm6vu7qui8qm32s96gp5k0s@4ax.com>

On 12 Sep 2001 08:30:02 -0700, speaker616@hotmail.com (Scarry Wisdom)
wrote:
>"The Boston Herald said passengers making cell phone calls from one or
>more of the hijacked planes had reported the hijackers had used
>plastic knives to stab flight attendants and take control."

George Carlin predicted this (unintentionally, I'm sure) in his last
album, "You Are All Diseased." He goes on a long rant about how
there's too much security on the airports, because if they wanted to
hijack a plane they could do it. With a KNIFE.

Carlin is certainly a SubGenius saint (is he a paid-up member?). The
accuracy of some of the predictions made by SubGenii over the years is
frightening. Much more so than any damn "psychic."

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 13, 2001 1:55 AM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-1209012355320001@208-135-242-154.dial-up.ipa.net>

In article <GYTn7.283340$GN.39764854@typhoon.kc.rr.com>, "LXIX"
<post_replys_please@this.address.is.invalid> wrote:
ognition that can be given.
>
> I can't remember right now but there is a Presidential Citation

I'm keen on hearing the black box from the Philly jet. I believe one can
receive the Medal of Freedom as a civilian. A modest gesture, but not a
bad idea either.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Half Titan, half flopping Thalidomide flipper

"If they're shootin' at you,
you know you're doing something right."
- 'The West Wing'

"Has anything you've ever done
made your life better?"
- "American History X"

"I'd rather have a root canal performed
through my sinus passages."
- "Night Court"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 13, 2001 1:47 AM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-1209012347360001@208-135-242-154.dial-up.ipa.net>

In article <3b9fdc3b.15039882@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, joecosby@mindspring.com
(Joe Cosby) wrote:
> "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org> hunched
> over a computer, typing feverishly;
>
> It's looking like the plane that went down in Penn was targeted for
> the White House.
>
> There's a terrible joy in that for me. Mother FUCKERS. I love
> knowing that somewhere, some cell leader is sitting there knowing his
> plan failed because his guys got their asses kicked by a plane load of
> civilians. I love that.

Yeah, FUCK the people in them other planes, they had no BALLS. PRAISE
that one that crashed short of its probable goal. That's part of why They
HATE US: we're WUSSIES, no matter what. Stupid gorks prattle on about gun
control and right of ownership, ill-supported by the huge number of those
killed with the guns they bought for their own protection. We have it all
and we're WHINY about it. I kinda hate us, too, frankly.

I'm bigger'n hell and jet cabins are small, but I bet as DEEPLY PISSED as
I already AM...well, I woulda gone fucking screaming foaming BALLISTIC
HULKNOID NOT FUCKING GONNA TAKE IT ANY GODDAMNED MORE KILL YOU WITH THIS
HERE ROLLED-UP YUPPIE-ASSED MAGazine of GLORPAGE BEYOND THE PALE and done
my level best to eat some fucking terrorist's eyes like M&Ms. Keep yer
DISTANCE, you fuckers, I'm outta PILLS!

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Half Titan, half flopping Thalidomide flipper

Subject: Re: Sporked...
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 13, 2001 8:08 AM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R1309010808580001@news.us.inter.net>

In article <Hulkturds-1209012347360001@208-135-242-154.dial-up.ipa.net>,
Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey) wrote:

>In article <3b9fdc3b.15039882@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, joecosby@mindspring.com
>(Joe Cosby) wrote:
>> "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org> hunched
>> over a computer, typing feverishly;
>>
>> It's looking like the plane that went down in Penn was targeted for
>> the White House.
>>
>> There's a terrible joy in that for me. Mother FUCKERS. I love
>> knowing that somewhere, some cell leader is sitting there knowing his
>> plan failed because his guys got their asses kicked by a plane load of
>> civilians. I love that.
>
> Yeah, FUCK the people in them other planes, they had no BALLS. PRAISE
>that one that crashed short of its probable goal. That's part of why They
>HATE US: we're WUSSIES, no matter what. Stupid gorks prattle on about gun
>control and right of ownership, ill-supported by the huge number of those
>killed with the guns they bought for their own protection. We have it all
>and we're WHINY about it. I kinda hate us, too, frankly.
>
> I'm bigger'n hell and jet cabins are small, but I bet as DEEPLY PISSED as
>I already AM...well, I woulda gone fucking screaming foaming BALLISTIC
>HULKNOID NOT FUCKING GONNA TAKE IT ANY GODDAMNED MORE KILL YOU WITH THIS
>HERE ROLLED-UP YUPPIE-ASSED MAGazine of GLORPAGE BEYOND THE PALE and done
>my level best to eat some fucking terrorist's eyes like M&Ms. Keep yer
>DISTANCE, you fuckers, I'm outta PILLS!