Subject: Saturday morning.

From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Date: Sat, Sep 15, 2001 1:44 PM
Message-ID: <JrMo7.19529$A5.3405687@typhoon.nyc.rr.com>

To catch up on all daily updates, you can click here..
http://digimind.tripod.com/FEDCOMS/id10.html

09.15.01 - As if the reality of it all isn't bad enough. 9 out of the 10
arrests at NYC airports yesterday yielded no truths about yesterday's
report. These people were innocent. Just thought I'd put that in here. The
main reason for this post is to address more personal concerns.

I have received an email from someone who will remain nameless. The basis of
this email is about everything I have posted so far since Tuesday the 11th.
Where I have been accused of not being strong, about not being positive,
about not crushing the fear and most of all, about not moving on. That my
attitude is threatening to my children's well being and that I simply need
to get over it to move on.
Especially because I have not suffered a personal loss of anyone in this
disaster.

My response to these claims are complicated and my not sound the way they
are intended through text on this web-site.

Let me start off by explaining the personal loss. I have, as many others
have, suffered personal loss. It's not mentioned anywhere on this web-site
because I have since, moved on. In 1996, I buried one of my own children.
Expecting a healthy child the day of delivery, we (Wife and I) were struck
with the grim reality that something was terribly wrong with our newly born
child. Circumstances that were unexpected, out of our hands, considered to
be "not anyone's fault", and simply put, every doctor and nurse had done
everything in their power to keep our child alive. After 3 days of torment,
Joseph had passed away. The mental suffering was intense. It took many years
to bring myself to the reality that Joseph was gone and there wasn't a damn
thing I could do about it. I hated everything. I suffer to this day with the
loss of my child.

With that said, the World Trade Center attack was something that could have
been avoided. Because of politics, special interest groups, this government
that we are calling upon for revenge, it was not. You can do the research
yourself, I won't get into it all here. But when I see what has happened to
this city I lived in for 99.9999% of my life, when I see the suffering of so
many families, when I see the unity and dedication of so many New Yorkers
and our fellow Americans, it makes me want to cry. I know your pain when it
comes to the loss of loved ones.

I have learned that in times of anguish, sometimes, the healthiest thing to
do is to talk about it. If you have no one to talk to, then write about it.
I have people I can talk to and do, but my single most effective way to
"Move on" and to "get over it" is to write about it.

I learned (with the loss of my son) that most everything we cherish is
indeed meaningless. There is so little in this life that really does matter
and as Americans, I feel we have lost touch with those things. It's
wonderful to see the country pull together in times of crisis, but on the
other hand, it is terrible to see the country divided by racism, hatred,
greed, power and selfishness. These are things we have suffered for many
years. I have made a personal promise to myself when I was able to move on
after the loss of my son. That promise was to be true to myself and as
truthful and kind to my fellow inhabitants of this planet as I possibly
could. I have never suffered more with my own existence. This world is
infected by lies and deceit. It is nearly impossible to live a truthful and
honest life. Someone, somewhere is out to get you or get over on you.

I am not a Christian although I do believe that the man known as Jesus was
indeed on the right track. Since then, his words have been distorted and
twisted to fit the needs of whom-ever decided to call themselves a
Christian. I have found that every religion is guilty of the same thing.
Oddly enough, I started my own church. You are here right now. The First
Ever Digital Church Of Mind Slack. (FEDCOMS) or simply Digital-Church.com .
Which outwardly does not resemble a structured religion or church in anyway
shape or form. Which is how it is intended to be. There are no laws, rules
and or punishments here. It's a place where I can do and say what I want (to
a certain extent).

This page "Random Thought Patterns" is here for me to empty my mind of
everyday thoughts. This is by no means negativity. It is an outlet. It is
the truth, it is me. I will not lie to you or myself by burying my feels
with a false sense of security. By pretending that we are victorious by
forgetting our pain and pretending that life could not be better. Life
wasn't better before, it's not better now, it won't get better in the near
future. That is my own personal perception and I will not fool myself or
anyone else into thinking otherwise.

How do I move on? What steps am I taking to make this world a better place?
First I start off with ME. I ponder my own thoughts, I look deep down inside
of what it is I am feeling. I get those feelings out, I find my outlet, I
write and talk. Once I am confident that I am not going insane and that I
can continue with life. I do this by going to work, putting everything I
have behind me to get the job done and not letting the people that depend on
me down. Coming home and hugging my children, kissing them, playing with
them and letting them know how much I love them. By supporting my wife,
loving her and letting her know everyday that she is always in my heart and
on my mind. I've done these things before the tragic events in NYC and I
continue to do them today. And I am consistently facing my own fears within
my own head.

If this is to you negativity then I think you need to check yourself. A
disaster such as this is no excuse to come together, set aside your
differences, get along and work as one family. You should be living your
life like this every second of every minute of everyday. Without
reservation, without feeling like you have to, you should be doing it just
because it is what comes natural to you. Because it makes you happy to do
so. Because it is what you would want in return. Peace, Love and Unity, then
, now and forever.

There, I got that out and I feel better. Now to face the recent news. To cap
things off, Pakistan has agreed to help, Afghanistan has threatened to
attack anyone who helps, Iraq is urging us not to use force, the entire
world is bracing for WAR. If you think this is going to be like desert
storm, you are mistaken. We supposedly have the support of former enemies,
the communist countries. Here is what I feel.

One, we are seeing evidence of "The One World Government" forming right here
before our eyes.
Two, we are placing ourselves in a situation where we can easily be back
stabbed by any former enemy or country that vows to help us. Imagine this,
Pakistan allows us to use their bases, ports and air space to wage a
campaign of destruction against a country who is essentially their brothers
and sisters. Half of Pakistan hates our gov't as much as the terrorists that
attacked us. Imagine us in full force inside of Pakistan when Pakistan
decides to backup Afghanistan and turn their guns on us in a surprise
attack. Imagine other countries such as China, Iraq, or even parts of Russia
suddenly taking advantage of this situation and turning on us.

Thirdly, Imagine martial law. Americans calling in false bomb threats,
looting, becoming lawless (it's already happening in NYC even though you
don't hear it on the news). There were Muslims in Astoria and Brooklyn,
right here in America, celebrating the attack. You think it was sick to see
them cheering in their own country, well what about right here in NYC! I
have eyewitness accounts from some of my best friends who have seen it first
hand. Imagine that "Not so American, Americans" coming out of the wood-work
to support the countries we are about to attack.

Don't be fooled. And, at least right now, don't pull the wool over your own
eyes. Don't trust anyone. Don't believe anything. Be apprehensive, pay
attention to what is going on, watch your back, look out for yourself. We
are on the brink of World War 3 whether or not your mind can deal with such
a thought. WW3 may take years, it may ruin the planet economically or the
environment. It may take a day or a week with no casualties for us. It
doesn't matter to me what you think and/or are willing to believe.

This is how I see things right now and that doesn't mean that I will see
them the same tomorrow. All I am trying to say here is to be true to
yourself first, loved ones next, friends to follow, then you can worry about
your city, state and country. If need be, you can place your own God or
personal savior anyplace in their after yourself.

My personal problems today consist of things like this.
1. I want to be there removing rubble and helping find survivors - REALITY -
I could lose my job if I don't come to work, the city doesn't need me there.

2. I want to help recover from this by offering my services in any way
possible. REALITY - I could lose my job if I don't come to work, I could
disrupt my home life if I'm not hear to take care of my children, wife and
home.

3. I'd love to help out financially. - REALITY - I'm in so much debt that
this could ruin me.

WHAT HAVE I DONE SO FAR?

1. Kept people in touch with the reality of it all by updating this page
daily.

2. My wife spent what little we could on socks, water, snacks and donated
them.

3. Let my kids out to play and not show them that Daddy is truly fearful for
them so they don't have to be afraid.

4. Offered to donate some legacy computer equipment that I have kept lying
around for spare parts.

5. Hung an American flag on my car, home, garage. To show my support for the
people of this country who are about to put their lives on the line and
punish those responsible. Also to show that no matter my own personal
feeling, I am still American and as much as I may not agree with the way
America treats it's own or others, this is still, currently the best country
on the planet. That this is as close to freedom as your gonna get and
finally, because this is one of the few countries on earth where you can
express such feelings and not be punished for it. (as long as you express
your feelings in an appropriate manner).

Anywaze, I feel as though I have vented enough here. I hope you all
understand what I am trying to convey. Your comments are always welcome and
I will always try to respond in a respectful manner.

Bottom line is, if you want a better world you must first better yourself.
You must stand strong in what you believe and treat others in ways that you
would find acceptable for them to treat you. Do not depend on someone else
to make the world a better place for you.

Peace out - hang tough - Talk at ya tomorrow.

Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
http://www.Digital-Church.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
P.O.Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
www.subgenius.com
or email
RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
PRABOB

Back to document index

Original file name: Saturday morning. - converted on Saturday, 15 September 2001, 20:35