Subject: Headlines We'd Like To See

From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Wed, Sep 19, 2001 10:41 PM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R1909012241460001@news.us.inter.net>

"CIA Investigating Connection Between Osama bin Laden, Roseanne Rosanna Danna"

"President Bush Unveils Operation Aporkalypse Now"

"Famous Last Words: It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's ... Oh FUCK, It IS A Plane!"
--
"Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong
religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark
morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity."

--HP Lovecraft, letter to Robert E. Howard 10/4/30
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Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: Ben Douglass <webmaster@666bendouglass.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 19, 2001 11:17 PM
Message-ID: <9obn3o01rko@drn.newsguy.com>

In article <friday-ya02408000R1909012241460001@news.us.inter.net>,
friday@fridayjones.com says...
>
>"CIA Investigating Connection Between Osama bin Laden, Roseanne Rosanna Danna"
>
>"President Bush Unveils Operation Aporkalypse Now"
>
>"Famous Last Words: It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's ... Oh FUCK, It IS A Plane!"
>--
>"Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong
>religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark
>morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity."
>
> --HP Lovecraft, letter to Robert E. Howard 10/4/30

Anybody who uses H.P. Lovecraft as a *SIG* has my undying and total respect.

Benjamin Douglass - ["Agitate, Educate, Liberate"]
[EMAIL]: webmaster@666bendouglass.net
[HOME]: http://www.bendouglass.net
***********************************************************
Remove 666 before sending email [Only a SPAMMER deserves to die!!!]
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Wed, Sep 19, 2001 11:01 PM
Message-ID: <3BA95C0F.4EEF@succeeds.com>

Friday Jones wrote:
>
> "CIA Investigating Connection Between Osama bin Laden,
> Roseanne Rosanna Danna"
>
> "President Bush Unveils Operation Aporkalypse Now"
>
> "Famous Last Words: It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's
> ... Oh FUCK, It IS A Plane!"
> --

"Immense unique database of personal information destroyed
Are tens of millions of Americans now anonymous, unaccountable?"

"Alan Greenspan forced to wear 'Depends'--can't control
bladder either, it seems"

"Wealthy and Powerful mysteriously unable to be cloned"

"Marijuana legalized but no longer fashionable, except
among African-Americans"

"Cher admits to maintaining youthful appearance with
blood of virgins--bricked up behind wall in mansion"

"Bill Gates unveils 'Mars Base'--a gift to the world--and
ready for occupancy by multinational astronaut/researchers"

"Television now less popular among children than books"

--
"Nature abhors a peasant. You will soon see
a violent demonstration of this fact."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: König Prüß, GfbAEV <saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Wed, Sep 19, 2001 11:33 PM
Message-ID: <qsdq7.183$176.249511@nntp2.onemain.com>

>"CIA Investigating Connection Between Osama bin Laden, Roseanne Rosanna Danna"
>
>"President Bush Unveils Operation Aporkalypse Now"
>
>"Famous Last Words: It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's ... Oh FUCK, It IS A Plane!"

"After Years of Yelling 'Death to Pinks!' Pinks Die--SubG's Do Hastey 180
Showing Themselves for the Hypocritical Nutless Glorps They've Always Been"

"In Wake of WTC Attack, Friday Jones Backpeddles So Fast Cooter Gets Chapped! Film at !!!!11!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: foobar.@fatstinko.com (pocket fisherman)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 12:50 AM
Message-ID: <3ba9752e.435037500@news.mindspring.com>

"Big Shorty Shoe-In at Bebe Rebozo Memorial Clam Race"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 2:01 AM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-2009010001420001@208-135-242-148.dial-up.ipa.net>

"HellPope Huey Becomes Solvent, Art Explosion Stuns Both Pink Puckerbutts
and Actual People."

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Who put all the DUMBASS in the water?

"I'd say I was a well-wisher...
...in that I don't wish you any specific harm."
- Moe, "The Simpsons"

"America has not always been kind
to its artists and scholars.
Somehow the scientists always seem
to get the penthouse
while the arts and humanities get the basement."
- Lyndon Baines Johnson

"One alligator, one chicken,
one satisfied audience."
- "Frasier"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 1:17 AM
Message-ID: <3ba97bce.2439392@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones) hunched over a computer, typing
feverishly;
thunder crashed, friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones) laughed madly,
then wrote:

"Baskin Robbins unveils NEW FLAVOR!"

That's my one.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

My time is a piece of wax, falling on a termite, that's choking on the
splinters
- Beck

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: dblspace@aol.company--4Q (David Langlois)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 10:30 AM
Message-ID: <20010920103025.09211.00000018@mb-fd.aol.com>

"All Hail Brak!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: speaker616@hotmail.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 3:06 PM
Message-ID: <b3372e53.0109201106.771e759e@posting.google.com>

nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in message news:<3BA95C0F.4EEF@succeeds.com>...
> Friday Jones wrote:
> >
> > "CIA Investigating Connection Between Osama bin Laden,
> > Roseanne Rosanna Danna"
> >
> > "President Bush Unveils Operation Aporkalypse Now"
> >
> > "Famous Last Words: It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's
> > ... Oh FUCK, It IS A Plane!"
> > --
>
> "Immense unique database of personal information destroyed
> Are tens of millions of Americans now anonymous, unaccountable?"
>
> "Alan Greenspan forced to wear 'Depends'--can't control
> bladder either, it seems"
>
> "Wealthy and Powerful mysteriously unable to be cloned"
>
> "Marijuana legalized but no longer fashionable, except
> among African-Americans"
>
> "Cher admits to maintaining youthful appearance with
> blood of virgins--bricked up behind wall in mansion"
>
> "Bill Gates unveils 'Mars Base'--a gift to the world--and
> ready for occupancy by multinational astronaut/researchers"
>
> "Television now less popular among children than books"

"Afghanistan hands ofver Bin Laden without a fight. 200 million
Americans come down with a nasty case of red-white-and-blue balls."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: "ren" <ren@bookofshadows.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2001 11:56 PM
Message-ID: <4Uyq7.22371$QK.18745950@news1.sttln1.wa.home.com>

"LEGALISED!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Fri, Sep 21, 2001 11:47 AM
Message-ID: <210920010847526583%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <I7tq7.13103$zF4.1775689@nntp3.onemain.com>, König Prüß,
GfbAEV <saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com> wrote:

> >K?ig Pr?, GfbAEV <saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com> wrote in message
> >news:<qsdq7.183$176.249511@nntp2.onemain.com>...
> >> >"CIA Investigating Connection Between Osama bin Laden, Roseanne Rosanna
> >> >Danna"
> >> >
> >> >"President Bush Unveils Operation Aporkalypse Now"
> >> >
> >> >"Famous Last Words: It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's ... Oh FUCK, It IS A
> >> >Plane!"
> >>
> >> "After Years of Yelling 'Death to Pinks!' Pinks Die--SubG's Do Hastey 180
> >> Showing Themselves for the Hypocritical Nutless Glorps They've Always
> >> Been"
> >>
> >> "In Wake of WTC Attack, Friday Jones Backpeddles So Fast Cooter Gets
> >> Chapped! Film at !!!!11!!
> >
> > I always thought you were an asshole. Now I'm sure. Thanks for the clarity.
>
> You ain't seen nothin' yet

He's right. It's a sort of religious obligation that he piss off as
many people as possible.

Of course, he's missing a point: There's no joy in Pinks dying if
there's no XISTS to do it. Mainly because, unless "Bob" somehow
convinced every New Yorker SubGenius to stay in bed, it's likely at
least one dues-paying member was killed that day. Maybe killing one or
two SubGeniuses to get at thousands of Pinks sounds like a good deal to
YOU, but I'm still of the opinion that we won't get Ruptured until we
have at least become bigger than the Mormons, and probably not until
we're bigger than the Roman Catholics. And I sure as Hel ain't
breedin'. We need every one we can hold onto. Even the total fucking
wankers nobody would mind seeing dead.

Bummer, yes, but hey, it means more Köning art, right?

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
=====Her Ladyship Rev Dkr St Popess Lilith von Fraumench, Esquire=====
===Prophet===Corrective Phrenologist===Supreme Commandrix===Devivor===
==SSUCC 4739 University Way NE #1302 Seattle WA 98105 (877)=381-9354==
====Web: ssucc.ragnarokr.com = foolspress.com = mp3.com/foolspress====
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Headlines We'd Like To See
From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Fri, Sep 21, 2001 12:00 PM
Message-ID: <EuJq7.3728$W83.377762@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

"Lilith von Fraumench" <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote in message
news:210920010847526583%lilith@ZubJenius.com...

> Of course, he's missing a point: There's no joy in Pinks dying if
> there's no XISTS to do it. Mainly because, unless "Bob" somehow
> convinced every New Yorker SubGenius to stay in bed, it's likely at
> least one dues-paying member was killed that day. Maybe killing one or
> two SubGeniuses to get at thousands of Pinks sounds like a good deal to
> YOU, but I'm still of the opinion that we won't get Ruptured until we
> have at least become bigger than the Mormons, and probably not until
> we're bigger than the Roman Catholics. And I sure as Hel ain't
> breedin'. We need every one we can hold onto. Even the total fucking
> wankers nobody would mind seeing dead.

If five thousand Pinks die for every ONE SubGenius, it is a net victory for
the Conspiracy. Enough said.

St. Marc

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Original file name: Headlines We'd Like To See - converted on Monday, 24 September 2001, 21:28