Subject: the real speech

From: "wotan2525" <no.spam.rob@yourmom.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Sep 21, 2001 3:40 PM
Message-ID: <KIMq7.24376$Q6.1246643@typhoon.mn.mediaone.net>

first good forward i've gotten out of this whole mess:

Good evening my fellow Americans.

First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and
all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured
that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our
country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world and we will
get through this trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside
our petty differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy
the fortitude of the American people.

And to the people that committed this atrocity I say: Are you fucking
kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone
too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are fucking with? Americans
are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish
that opportunity for new targets for our aggression. Have you forgotten
history? What happened to the last people that started fucking around with
us? Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We slapped them all
over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own back yard.
That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue. Ever seen Texas on a map?
Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started
jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent
them packing. Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole USA.
The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to
shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't
trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of
cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country. Trust us, Afghanistan
will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden.
There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's going to
keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country
that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even smells like he
was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed
us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go
ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your
sorry asses.

God bless America!

r.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: the real speech
From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Sep 21, 2001 7:05 PM
Message-ID: <3ohnqtc3nih3crfijp1j5kullr6gliu2ik@4ax.com>

That just about says it all. It's humiliating for me to say that I
actually *liked* the President's speech last night -- he obviously put
his speech writers into overdrive to come up with something historic.
They succeeded. Short on specifics (other than the demands on the
Taliban), long on gung-ho -- this is the type of stuff we've come to
expect from folks like FDR. That doesn't mean Dubya is an FDR, it
just means he's got some damn good speech writers.

And of course the anti-war activists are gathering for their silly
protests. I tried the protest thing myself, in the hope of preventing
the Gulf War from taking place, and accomplished absolutely nothing.
That was when I learned that 1960s protest tactics don't work today.
Da Gub-Mint learned its lessons, and they know how to handle these
things now. Mostly. (WTO notwithstanding.)

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

Back to document index

Original file name: the real speech - converted on Monday, 24 September 2001, 21:28