Official Church Update 8/14/97

Official Church Update 8/14/97

MegaFist Temple Lodge #3.1
Office of Rev. "The Great One", Bagwan Jesus "Steve" Bevilacqua, M.M., B.S., Worlds Second Most Powerful Magus, The anointed one, Teacher.

Austin Show A Reality

The Austin Devival will be Sept 13, 8pm, at La Zona Rosa (see press release from FringeWare). The Cost will be a low $5. I can tell this show will be legendary already. Besides myself and Rev. Stang, we will be joined by Dr. Legume, Rev. Nickie, Pope Angus, Rev Strange, and someone else -- and that's just the preachers. The theme is "Rush for B.O.B." as it will be the week after rush week at the local college, so it will be our duty once again to blow the college students minds. This also is FringeWare's anniversary party, it also will be a promo party for the new INWO SubGenius game! Holy Mesus, more Slack than you can shake a prairie squid at. Rumored special guests include BOOGER 9000, and the CRYSTAL METHODISTS. Rev. Pacoid is busy lining up the bondage show and other oddities. The turn out is going to be huge, so get there early; the place only has a capacity of 250 and we should double that. We're already making plans to do some street preachin' when it gets too crowded. This could rival the infamous Grrrinder Akron Devival of '95... let's hope not.


I have swum in the fiery lakes of Hell! I have walked through the neon lit jungles of Dobbstown! I have controlled Connie who controlled Legume who in turn controlled me and in turn I conquered each and every pathetic Illuminati group in existence. In fact the only resistance were those pesky Schwa Aliens, but even they were crushed like garden slugs under the salty boot of the SUBGENIUS!!!!

The game is written and is being extensively tested by the INWO Gods. Here at HQ Dr. Pantho D. (aka Rev. Matt) is leading up the game testing, with help from me, Rev. Nickie, Rev Demonica, and someone else.

Rev. Stang has been bustin' sacred booty on the art work. It's a shame we can't have posters of this stuff, you tend to lose a little detail when the pictures are reduced to 2"X1". Maybe a limited edition INWO SubGenius calendar? But I'm sure you can eyeball these glorious works of sheer Dobbsonian brilliance somewhere on the WebSite soon.

So when can you get your copy of the game.... soon my Yeti kin, soon. We are shooting for September, it still looks good. Don't worry, once it's out, you'll know. The knock on the door from the Men in Back will be your first clue. Oh yeah, do your part to help out, go down to your local comic/gaming store and DEMAND that they get some in. Most will anyway, but it always helps if the stores know there is interest before the game is even out.


If you were at StarWood, you may have
gotten one of the new SubGenius Votive Candles. They are not available yet, but I hope they soon will be. Stay Tuned...


Well not really, but here's the question. If it were possible to put together a SubGenius softball team, (you know, like the pink corporations do to pump up moral), would they be any good? It was my opinion that they would suck and lose every game. Not because they were no good, but because they wouldn't care if they won, not to mention the frop handicap. In fact the other teams wouldn't even show up because there would be no REASON to play, from their stand point. To play a team that not only WILL lose every game, but PRIDES itself on it, would be futile in the mind of a Normal. Now the beautiful and talented Mary Magdalin disagrees with me completely, believing that the sheer anger and hatred of the Subs toward the Pinks would motivate the SubGenius League into punishing each and every team until they crawled away, whimpering like dogs, with their tails between their legs. All the while with us taunting them ...

"Give me a U" "U!"
"Give me a SUCK" "SUCK!"
"What's that spell"
"U Suck! U Suck! U Suck!, Yeah!"

I don't know, I just keep thinking that even if Janor did hit the ball, he'd just fall to the ground and spaz, screaming "My legs are on fire.." And Legume would use the bat to "accidentally" remove the head of the catcher. Hell, I don't even think we could get them all to wear the same uniform.

Well anyway, ponder on sweet child...

PS. Don't Email me with your response, I'll read it on alt.slack. Thanks

See ya in court.


Rev. J.C. "Steve" Bevilacqua
Business Manager, Sleazy Promoter
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Send $1.00 for more information on this fast growing cult! PO Box 140306 Dallas, TX 75214
Fax: (214)324-0993 Credit card orders 1(888)669-2323