From: modemac@tiac.net (Modemac)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, 05 Apr 1997
Organization: First Online Church of "Bob"

My girlfriend, the Queen of Fucking Everything, was a kook researcher and
conspiracy theorist before I even met her -- which meant that we actually
had something in common to talk about on our first date. How about that,
"Bob?" Her forte is digging into the hidden past of Freemasonry, the
Knights Templar, the controversy surrounding Rennes-le-Chateau and the
supposed descendents of Jesus, and Jack the Ripper. When she found a copy
of the Spring 1997 issue of PARANOIA: The Conspiracy Reader and saw its
article on "The Mystery of the Knights Templar," she was amused...but when
she found a photo of "Bob" Dobbs staring at her from that same magazine,
she knew she had to show it to me.

I've heard of PARANOIA, but I've never seen it before now; issues of the
magazine are hard to find in this area. Fortunately, years of scanning
alt.conspiracy have prepared me for the sort of wild-eyed ranting to be
found in the pages of this magazine. "Bob" be praised, the conspiracy
theories abundant in PARANOIA run the gamut from 'mainstreem' kook rants to
the most outrageous, unbelievable, incomprehensible conclusions to be found
anywhere -- they have to be seen to be believed.

The subjects covered in this issue scream "kook" from the first page to the
last. We've got the mainstream stuff that's been done to death -- "O.J.,
DNA and Conspiracy on Trail" and "Who Killed Yittzhak Rabin?" -- featuring
all of the classic cases of imagined evidence like "How many shots were
fired?" "Who was waiting in the car?" "What happened on the trip to the
hospital?", all designed to make you distrust the news reports (which
necessarily a bad thing) and wonder just what exactly happened there. The
problem with this sort of "reporting" is that imaginary evidence is often
pulled out of thin air to "prove" the conspiracy behind this insidious
plot. It's the same sort of ranting you see on alt.conspiracy when they
talk about the unreported "second explosion" on Oklahoma that was
supposedly set off by the FBI or CIA in an attempt to frame Timothy
McVeigh. McVeigh isn't mentioned in this issue, but he'll probably pop up
this summer after the reports from his trial are sifted and analyzed by the
conspiracy theorists.

The magazine really starts getting weird when it talks about the missile
theory of the TWA 800 bombing; informing the public about electromagnetic
frequency weapons; two articles about Larry Flynt (from "Hustler" magazine)
and his relationship with Madalyn Murray O'Hair, founder of the American
Atheists Association; and the the religious weirdness. Here's where we
come to the article "Satanism, The Illuminati and the Andromedans," written
by one R. Roy Blake and illustrated with Michael Aquino of the Temple of
Set...and a picture of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, taken directly from the cover of

Mr. Blake gives us a long, rambling essay on the relationship between
Satanism, the Illuminati, alien ships from Andromeda, and the Church of the
SubGenius. Here is an excerpt containing his ruminations on our mighty
Church. Note his reference to "The Necronomicon," a book that doesn't
actually exist:

PARANOIA Vol. 5 No. 1, Issue 16, pg. 42-43:

"Descriptions of certain types of aliens have distinct similarities with
some of the evil entities that are found in occult nature, and are
occasionally described as having interacted with secret societies
throughout human history. The second largest satanic bestseller of
all-time, 'The Necronomicon,' describes an evil being known also as the
'eater of souls.' One whistle-blowing and very frightened governmental
insider, who claimed to be aware of a governmental-alien cooperation,
talked about alien ships which conducted a 'harvest of the souls.' Some
occult writers have speculated that the 'eater of souls' is a more
frightening entity than the devil himself. In the cryptic 'The Illuminatus
Trilogy,' the authors suggest that such beings are not supernatural at all
but, rather, because they are able to manipulate dimensions in unknown ways
merely appear to be supernatural. 'Trilogy' which is often referred to as
an 'initiation' document by occultists is listed on the Temple of Set's
'reccomended reading' list for containing 'gems' of secret reality.

"'Trilogy' is a wild ride and indeed so wild that its plot defies
description here. Among the 'gems' of occult wisdom are various
descriptions of the origins of the Illuminati, which range from the
ridiculous (a rationalist called Gruad who lived on Atlantis and released
ther 'eater of souls' explaining the religions throughout history, such as
the Mayans and the Aztecs, that have demanded human sacrifice) to several
more likely theories alluding to the 'official story' of its 1776 founding
by 'defrocked' Jesuit Adam (and his wife Eve) Weishaupt.

"Throughout history even entities, described at times to have seeming
supernatural powers and at other times only highly advanced technology,
have interacted with the Illuminati. Another interesting piece to the
puzzle was provided by an anonymous source within the military who
contended that some of the people involved with 'Trilogy' were also
involved with the popular 1980s Church of the SubGenius, Bob Dobbs and

"For those not familiar with the above phenomena, the weekly video show
'NightFlight' ran a series of not so musical videos in the 80s put out by
an organization which called itself the 'Church of the SubGenius.' The
videos included blatant hypnotic and post-hypnotic suggestion, prompting
speculation that they were one of the more obvious attempts at mind control
made over the airwaves. The Church of the SubGenius video also included
dizzyingly rapid images of satanic symbology that was apparently aimed at
the subconscious. In a deep voice, the announcer told the story of
'supersalesman' Bob Dobbs, while the cartoon image of Dobbs with the pipe
was turned back and forth at such rapid speed that it at times looked like
a swastika. The announcer explained how Bob had stumbled onto the secrets
of who really runs the world.

"A subsequent book put out by the same 'Church' suggests that its followers
use the numbers 666 as frequently as possible if for no other reason than
to annoy Christians. Among the strangest of its internal revelations was
that aliens secretly control the world through a secret structure which
also controls world government. The supposed world headquarters of the
aliens and their human puppets was somewhere in New York City ('Trilogy'
made references to tunnels under the U.N.). To punish small transgressions
on the part of their human puppets, the aliens employed a device known as a
migraine machine. As a frequent sufferer of migraine headaches, I can
testify how effective such a device might be for torture."

Whoever this guy R. Roy Blake is, I can only hope he finds a long and
distinguished career writing for more mainstream publications. More power
to him!

PARANOIA: The Conspiracy Reader
P.O. Box 1041
Providence, RI 02901

No Web page, but they have an email address: alhidell@aol.com

Reverend Modemac (modemac@tiac.net)
First Online Church of "Bob" "There is no black and white."
URL: http://www.tiac.net/users/modemac/
(FINGER modemac@sunspot.tiac.net for a FREE SubGenius Pamphlet!)

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