Dobbs runs for Congress in Tallahassee

From: (Monsterwax)

Swear to Bob, I woke up on Saturday and heard on the news that there's a guy
running for Congress here named Dobbs. I don't care WHICH party he represents,
his sign IS GOING UP in my front yard. (Plus, I get to get a few more to send
to Church HDQs) The only problem is, is it a sign of the end times?

Imagine what his motto must be?

"Only front room deals with DOBBS"
"The Best paid subgenius EVER!"
"Put him in Congress where we can keep our eye on him."
"If DOBBS can't fix it, it can't be fixed!"
"Ducking the bullet for all of us."
"ABSCAM never knew DOBBS!"
"Dobbs- He's unimpeachable!"
"With a name like DOBBS, he's gotta be good!"

Subject: Re: Dobbs runs for Congress in Tallahassee
From: (Monsterwax)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 16, 2000 9:52 PM

I'll look into it and see what I can find. There doesn't seem to be much on him
-- it's almost as if there's some sort of "Conspiracy" to shut him out of the
election. It turns out he's a Republican (but what do you expect from a child
of the 50's?) and get this: He entered WITHOUT THE PERMISSION of the Party!
(Major taboo and unheard of action.) And they're giving him the cold shoulder,
they don't plan to help him at all! (The incumbent is a career politician and
everyone thinks he can't be beat. Are THEY ever in for a surprise!) I also got
this quote from the paper and it's very DOBBSIAN. He said in the Tallahassee
Democrat, "I'm divorced, broke and bankrupt. I've got nothing to lose in this
campaign." I ASK THEE ALL, IS HE NOT A GOD!?! (Fear not Almighty Dobbs! The
luck plain is just about to TILT!)

Is his first name Bob? HELL NO, that would be TOO OBVIOUS and the opposition
would use it against him. (They would say it was just like the Subgenius Church
he promotes, ALL A BIG NASTY JOKE!) Instead, he used a SECRET subgenius name,
say what that is 'coz those who know don't say, and those who say don't know.)
But the timing (year 2000, Triple Xday and all) can't be a coincidence. I smell
a MAJOR 5th columnist!

Just imagine, a DOBBS in our Nation's capitol. That would be way cool. And I
noticed it cost him $8002 to enter the contest-- He got ALL OTHER PEOPLE's
money to pull it off. He was in a cafe three days before they deadline and
someone said, "we should have somone else run for that seat. How about you
Dobbs, if I contribute $100 for the filing fee, will you run if we can get the
rest?" And the rest, as they say, is history. (And no, I'm not making ANY of
this up. I promise it's all EXACTLY as reported.)

Who but a DOBBS could pull that off without consulting the fat cat party
bosses? If you divide $8002 by 6, you get 1333.6666. And we all know that 333
is half the sign of The Beast, and 666 IS the sign of The Beast, but he even
has AN EXTRA SIX! (That's like having a speaker that goes to Eleven!) It was
also noted in the paper that unlike everyone else, he didn't have a SINGLE
DOLLAR MORE than EXACTLY what he needed to qualify. (So if so much as if ONE
CHECK BOUNCES, it all goes DOWN THE TOILET!) And he filed on the LAST DAY, at
the VERY LAST MINUTE. This is SOOOO Subgenius it's getting CREEPY!

I think we need to take a lesson from the TIME magazine FRAUD of the CENTURY
coup and have EVERYONE move down here and register to vote in time for
November. All the girls can stay at my place and all the guys can stay at
WHEEZERS. I'm sure we can find some other subgs for any additional overflow.
(For those of you who can't stay to help put up signs and wave at cars, you can
still use our houses as addresses for the election supervisor, then go back and
MAIL in your vote.) We've got NO TIME TO WASTE. Uncle Dobbs WANTS YOU!

Subject: Re: Dobbs runs for Congress in Tallahassee
From: Dkr. Armand Geddyn <>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 18, 2000 5:53 PM

In article <>, (Rev. Jihad Frenzy) wrote:

>You really do have to find this guy's address.

The fellow mentioned who is running for U.S. Representative
(District 2)'s contact info:

538 W. 7th Ave.
Tallahassee, FL 32303
PHONE: (850) 224-4608

However, all campaign donations should be sent care of

The Committee to Re-Elect the Mutant (CREEM)
P.O. Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75124

-Dkr. Armand Geddyn
The Ministry of Truth
"We can help you find ANYONE! (Even yourself!)"

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