How Normals Fuck

From: (Jesus Christ)
Date: Thu, 18 Jul 1996 14:23:26 LOCAL
Organization: Church of the SubGenius

In case you were wondering the way the Normals do it.........

I know it's sick, but sometimes the truth is.

>>> The following is a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter,
>>> Fall Issue, 1894:
>>> on the
>>> Conduct and Procedure of the
>>> Intimate and Personal Relationships
>>> of the Marriage State
>>> for the
>>> Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
>>> Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
>>> by
>>> Ruth Smythers
>>> beloved wife of
>>> The Reverend L.D. Smythers
>>> Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
>>> Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
>>> Published in the year
>>> of our Lord 1894
>>> Spiritual Guidance Press
>>> New York City
>>> To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper
>>> upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and
>>> most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the
>>> wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a
>>> beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing
>>> a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the
>>> negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride
>>> must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the
>>> terrible experience of sex.
>>> At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.Some
>>> young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with
>>> curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and
>>> sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One
>>> cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE,
>>> have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
>>> On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex
>>> it at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be
>>> endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is
>>> compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced
>>> through it.
>>> It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the
>>> groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would
>>> be one who would approach his bride only at her request and only for
>>> the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness
>>> cannot be expected from the average man.
>>> Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise
>>> bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly
>>> during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should
>>> make every effort to reduce this frequency.
>>> Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best
>>> friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering
>>> also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour
>>> before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
>>> Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of
>>> denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A
>>> good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a
>>> week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by
>>> the end of the fifth year of marriage.
>>> By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their
>>> child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all
>>> sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon
>>> his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband
>>> in the home.
>>> Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low
>>> as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the
>>> kind and degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather
>>> perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a
>>> variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include
>>> among others performing the normal act in abnormal positions;
>>> mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile bodies to be
>>> mouthed in turn.
>>> Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing
>>> photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the
>>> obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted.
>>> A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see
>>> her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body
>>> to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in
>>> total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton
>>> nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These
>>> should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed durning
>>> the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.
>>> Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she
>>> should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes
>>> groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her
>>> direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should
>>> let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will
>>> stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse
>>> to deny him sexual access.
>>> When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily
>>> motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the
>>> optimistic husband.
>>> If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head
>>> slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If
>>> he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her
>>> gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull
>>> the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that
>>> nature calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his
>>> desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.
>>> If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise
>>> wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask
>>> him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no
>>> matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.
>>> Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having
>>> sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment.
>>> The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the
>>> waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus
>>> make connection.
>>> She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his
>>> huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and
>>> never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in
>>> progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise
>>> wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him
>>> to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their
>>> sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after
>>> the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace
>>> in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged
>>> to soon try for more.
>>> One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact
>>> that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have
>>> been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep
>>> sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to
>>> the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half
>>> cowed and subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and
>>> relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate
>>> completely her husband's desire for sexual expression.

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