Official Update 12/17/96
Church of the SubGenius
PO Box 140306 Dallas, TX 75214
******************************************
Thanks
To everyone who heard the plea of Jesus and
responded. The software was desperately needed.
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The SUBsite Dream Team
Rev. Stang has managed to gather some of the
greatest and most highly warped Yetisyn into
dedicating a good portion of their time to updating
and maintaining SUBsite. This is a relentless non
stop task. The team consists of Rev. Wanderer,
Patron Saint of Sound Compression, Dr. Dynasor,
Patron Saint of Archival Precision, and Atom
Funway, Patron Saint of Art and Design.
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Merry X-ist mas
A special mention to Rev. Nickie Deathchick, the
excommunicated. Who since her excommunication
has been hired on by Dobbs (his ways ARE
mysterious) and has been busting serious ass helping
Jesus with the mail order and getting out the Stark
Fists.
Praise Rev. Nickie
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Stark Fist Interim
California has been mailed. And all the Bobbies will
be folding and tabbing the new fist this weekend,
which we hope to have out by X-mas. Of course
Rev. Stang will be rolling naked on each and every
Fist, properly blessing them before delivery.
Ads are being accepted for the next fist. The
Deadline was Jan 18th but I feel this will be moved
back. Call or write for rates.
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KeyChains!
This new item produced by our Canadian Brethren
are slicker then the blood of the pinks that will cover
the earth on X-Day. No foolin' they are black leather
and gold stamped. It has (count 'em) 2 "Bob" heads ,
Church of the SubGenius - Achieve worldwide
SLACK and the Web address on one side and my
favorite motto "Send $1.00... " on the back. They are
$5.00 a piece.
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Devivals and Stang 'O rama.
We're already planning and scheming for '97. There
will be a Devival in Ohio at Winterstar (another
ACE event) first week in March.
The Good Rev. Stang will be appearing on a panel of
experts to debate the future of media in the coming
days at the South by Southwest Conference in
Austin, TX, the date of the debate appears to be
Sunday the 9th but may change.
There are rumors of an Atlanta Devival with Suzi the
Floozy, Rev Nolan Void, and Rev. Stang, but it's still
too early to tell.
It's not too early to clear your schedule for X-day. It
will be in the same place, Sherman, NY, July 4th,
5th and 6th. This will usher in our last year on this
miserable planet!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can still call (216)556-0338 for recorded info
updated as we get it.
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Mutant Resource List.
It's done. Send 1.00 to you know where. Ask for it
by name. I promised a sampling look for Mutant
Resource Sample on alt.slack.
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Internet Underground.
Rev. Stang has been writing a column for this
magazine. Check it out.
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The Grooviest of G's
Rev Groovy G. has prepared an excellent series of
tracts, perfect for leaving on the bus, payphone, or
placing into the hand of unsuspecting Pinks. I like to
"trade" mine with those religious nuts on the street
corners, or use them to pay off those "deaf" people
who hand you that piece of crap sign language chart,
but strangely don't know it themselves! Anyway
send a SASE and we'll send you a Master Copy
Sheet for free. Send a donation and we'll send you
both Master Sheets and maybe even some ready to
go go go.
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HOS Drive
Our big push for 97 is to get the Hour of Slack onto
25 stations. We now have 16 so we should be able
to do this. The best help you can give is to call your
local college station and ask them to air it. Don't
forget to give our number, and address 1(888)669-
2323
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That may be all for now.
Sorry no new secrets... it's been a slow month for
truth.
******************************************
Jesus Christ
Business Manager, Sleezy promoter
Church of the SubGenius
Send $1 for more info to:
PO Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
slack@metronet.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996 01:31:55 -0600
In article <32b78961.27701149@newnews.metronet.com>, slack@metronet.com
(Jesus Christ) wrote:
> The SUBsite Dream Team
The team consists of Rev. Wanderer,
> Patron Saint of Sound Compression, Dr. Dynasor,
> Patron Saint of Archival Precision, and Atom
> Funway, Patron Saint of Art and Design.
Actually, Lord, though Atom Funway Plastico has been delivering upwards of
one hundred new illustrations per day, it is Rev. Morvus Thenu who has
taken on the Herculean task of cleaning the Art Mines and totally
redigging the tunnels. The SubGenius Renaissance is hitting such a fever
pitch that I can do little more than serve as a human funnel for it.
Proud to serve.
> KeyChains!
> This new item produced by our Canadian Brethren
> are slicker then the blood of the pinks that will cover
> the earth on X-Day. No foolin' they are black leather
> and gold stamped. It has (count 'em) 2 "Bob" heads ,
> Church of the SubGenius - Achieve worldwide
> SLACK and the Web address on one side and my
> favorite motto "Send $1.00... " on the back. They are
> $5.00 a piece.
The little Lord Jesus ain't just asleep on the hay about this, friends!
These gold-on-black embossed leather keychains are EXTREMELY WELL CRAFTED,
not some half-assed amateur deal. The Dobbsheads are PRISTINE. The fonts
and printing are CRYSTAL CLEAR and GLOW with INNER POWER. You can see
every detail of the Sacred Hieroglyph borders. I have found my Dobbs
keychain MOST COMFORTING. It's already like and old friend. Should last
for years.
HONEST!!!
> ******************************************
> Internet Underground.
> Rev. Stang has been writing a column for this
> magazine. Check it out.
> ******************************************
They also called SubSITE one of the 10 best websites of 1996. I did NOT
pay them for that or even cut my price.
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