SubSITE Reviewed in The Net

In case you haven't heard about it or seen it, SubSITE got reviewed in the June issue of "The Net" magazine. In the Blue Pages review section, under "Religion", apppropriately enough. The guy gave it top ratings in content ("Rich In Nutrients"), aesthetics ("A visual 10"), and smartness ("Rocket Science Material").

Although you could read this review as one of those clever anti-reviews concocted by a true Sub, somehow this guy doesn't quite pull it off, and thus trips himself up as one of those who say and don't know... At least he got all the buzzwords right.

Here, by the miracle of OCR, is the review: -------------------------------------------- This is the only religious site I've seen that fully embraces the medium of the Web, with animations of looming heads, lightning-struck brains, and mushroom clouds. Not your old-time religion, by any means, but good enough for me.

O.K., but seriously, the folks behind this site may be taking a once-great gag too far. Don't get me wrong: It's fun, and funny, and all that -- but somebody out there's actually pushing this stuff, proselytizing as if it were for real! As if it wasn't all just an outrageous hoax! As if they've started to believe their own lies!

Huh, you say? Who are they? What in God's name am I talking about?

The Church of the Subgenius is what! The Campus Crusade for Bob! The Campaign for World Wide Slack! The whole weird movement of dangerous freaks who, apparently, don't know when to let a joke go! Still in the dark? Go see for yourself (God knows, I can't explain it).

Take a drive into the mind of Bob Dobbs. Learn all about the fictitious former salesman turned deified, disembodied head. Discover for yourself the hypnotic thrall of the slack ethic. Bombard yourself with strange, twisted images that have no apparent connection to anything. Visit the "Things to Want and Buy" catalog for the latest in DobbsWear and Slack Threads.

Send checks, if you must, to the First Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected. Do whatever you want... Just don't go to any Devivals fer chrissake, or, if you do, don't tell me about it. I don't want anything to do with it. This site - great as it is - is as far as I go.

And don't send me any flames denouncing this as an insult to the Religion category. The way I see it, it's no more commercial, no more profane, than the 700 C!ub. But it's loads more fun. Send your flames to Bob.

-Pat Joseph (

P.S. Heard about the new "Phantom" movie? I think we need to do some Dobbshead rings that will brand a guy for life with the face of "Bob" when you hit him!

Sic Supra Ad Infra.
John Zero

Visit the weirdly glowing depths of Zone Zero. Open 24 Hours.

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