Sometimes, they really are out to get you by Nickie

From: nickie@subgenius.com ( Rev. Nickie)
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 1999 22:52:58 -0600
Organization: DeathChick, Inc.

You know, We have a lot of so-called fun in this Church. Lots of you have
made friends and enemies, had great times 'fropping and running around
naked at X-Day....but what I really wonder is how many of you would
stick with "Bob" if the going got tough? If you really were
persecuted for being a SubGenius?

I'm not talking about anything specific, at least not right here. But you
know, it was prophesied that things would get really tough for us mutants
in these late days. It is the Time of HOS #666. Strange things are
happening. I mean, I'm an EMT now, for Fuck's sake. DeathChick can now SAVE
YOUR LIFE!

All I'm saying is watch out.

-Rev. Nickie DeathChick
Inquisitor General
SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
"My way is superior to ALL OTHERS."

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From: "Curtis R. Anderson" <gleepy@intelligencia.com>
>
> You know, We have a lot of so-called fun in this Church. Lots of you have
> made friends and enemies, had great times fropping and running around
> naked at X-Day....but what I really wonder is how many of you would really
> stick with "Bob" if the going really got tough? If you really were
> persecuted for being a SubGenius?

I think my community accepts me for what I am. They've generally known
me long enough.

> I'm not talking about anything specific, at least not right here. But you
> know, it was prophesied that things would get really tough for us mutants
> in these late days. It is the Time of HOS #666. Strange things are
> happening. I mean, I'm an EMT now for Fuck's sake. DeathChick can now SAVE
> YOUR LIFE!
>
> All I'm saying is watch out.

I, for one, would feel confident that a fellow worshipper of "Bob" were
on the giving end of the care.

Unless you somehow tie in with the volunteer fire departments in
Sherman, Clymer or Westfield, my chances of seeing you in that capacity
would not be great while you are having fun at X-Day. (or is that
XX-Day?)

Would the fun in 2000 be referred to as the highly pornographic XXX-Day?

And besides, just think of all the horror stories you could collect. If
a guy had a heavy object dropped on his abdomen and his intestines were
strewn all about, you could say he suffered from "total gut blowout".
--
Curtis R. Anderson, Co-creator of "Gleepy the Hen", SP 2.5?, KoX
http://www.servtech.com/~cra/ | Western New York: as Canadian
ftp://ftp.servtech.com/pub/users/cra/ | as you can get in the States
mailto:gleepy@intelligencia.com | UTM: PS 7036 7315, zone 17

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From: nickie@subgenius.com ( Rev. Nickie)

In article <36A0EB4D.302781B7@intelligencia.com>, "Curtis R. Anderson"
<gleepy@intelligencia.com> wrote:

~ I think my community accepts me for what I am. They've generally known
~ me long enough.

They're just lulling you into a false sense of security, DUMBASS.

~ I, for one, would feel confident that a fellow worshipper of "Bob" were
~ on the giving end of the care.

Work for, maybe. Worship? "Bob" worships me!

~ Unless you somehow tie in with the volunteer fire departments in
~ Sherman, Clymer or Westfield, my chances of seeing you in that capacity
~ would not be great while you are having fun at X-Day. (or is that
~ XX-Day?)

OK, fine, if you're lying there bleeding, I'll just stand by and wait till
they get there. It might be more fun.

-Rev. Nickie DeathChick, Inquisitor General
SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
"My way is superior to ALL OTHERS."

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From: warpshadow@disinfo.net

A: Congrats on the EMT, by far not an easy job.

B: I am always ready for the Slackless Phuks to come after me, so
whether I'm ready for em, well, thats a moot point.

C: Bob's powers give back to those who deserve it, so, to put it simply,
the rest can DIE SCREAMING!!

See ya in the void,
WS

"When I'm good, I'm good, when I'm bad, I'm better!"

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From: DrLegume <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>

Rev. Nickie wrote:
>what I really wonder is how many of you would really
> stick with "Bob" if the going really got tough? If you really were
> persecuted for being a SubGenius?

Not me. I'd bail on you fuckers in a minute if it meant more slack for
me.

All in all, it comes down to which side of the gas chamber door you want
to be on.

Look for me. I'll be the guy in the "Bob" t-shirt pulling the SWITCH.
--
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi

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From: armand_geddyn@yahoo.com

Once upon a time, I, like many SubGs, adhered to a strict, personal, moral
code. Among such tennants for life, I refused to:

Cut my hair
Wake up before noon
Work for The Man in a Conspiracy job
Treat people like equals when they were obviously dumbshits
Show respect for authority figures

In short, I refused to Sell Out.
Of course, also during this time, I was very poor.

I have, since, Sold Out. Other people call it Growing Up. I have completely
reversed my behavior for much of the day, to many people, I am
indistinguishable from Joe Pinkboy.

And I while I have accepted the Conspriacy's False Slack, let me tell you,
friends, I am NECK DEEP in True Slack.

It'd be nice to live like I want to live and look like I want to look like
24-7.

However, it's also nice to have an apartment free of roaches, a nice car that
runs all the time, and a living wage.

What I'm trying to say goes a little like this: Being a SubGenius in a World
Without Slack is something like being fucked in the ass. No matter what you
do, they WILL fuck you. And believe me, it'll definately hurt if you resist
every inch, and they'll beat you like a crack whore afterwords.

But if you relax, have a couple drinks with them, losen up, and get
comfortable, they'll fuck you on YOUR terms, not theirs. And they'll even kiss
you goodnight after they're done.

-Dkr. Armand Geddyn, Ministry of Truth, M.A.S.C.
http://www.ann-marie.com/ministry

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From: nickie@subgenius.com ( Rev. Nickie)

ARRGH! You dumb FUCK! Hell, if you want to accept this half-assed sort of
so-called "victory" over the Conspiracy, fine. But for the rest of us,
it's best to FUCKING GRAB LIFE BY THE LAPELS, AND SCREAM IN ITS FUCKING
FACE! (To paraphrase GGG).

It's the Con brain-washing that makes you believe you have to have a JOB
to live comfortably! Some of us have "an apartment free of roaches, a nice
car that runs all the time, and a living wage," and DON'T WORK. At least
not that much. You have to learn to SURF THE LUCK PLANE. If Slack to you
is nothing more than comforts, so be it. But some of us want IT ALL, and
damn well will die trying to get it if need be. But here is the lesson:

"It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees...."
"No, you have it backwards..."

Don't EVER let them make you think you have to do anything but LIVE ON
YOUR FEET.

NON SERVIAM. AD INFINITUM.

-Rev. Nickie DeathChick, Inquisitor General
SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
"My way is superior to ALL OTHERS."

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From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

armand_geddyn@yahoo.com wrote:

>
> And I while I have accepted the Conspriacy's False Slack, let me tell you,
> friends, I am NECK DEEP in True Slack.

Nah, you've just sold out.

>
> It'd be nice to live like I want to live and look like I want to look like
> 24-7.

Take the use of the expression, "24-7".

>
> However, it's also nice to have an apartment free of roaches, a nice car that
> runs all the time, and a living wage.

It's best to just learn to like the pain.

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