Health or well being of User's "soul" is not guaranteed until User has purchased a Church of the SubGenius Ministerial Membership.
The Church of the SubGenius is not responsible for deletorious actions caused by exterior forces beyond the immediate control of this website, including but not limited to Acts of "Bob," conspiracy cancel-bots, local electrical fluctuations, User's equipmental shortcomings, or glitches caused by Users still lost inside the website.
WARNING for those with pacemakers: Telepathic BrainEater tulpic hallucination virus IN USE. This simple program slightly overwrites the wetware of your synapses. May cause discomfort in some first-time users. To prevent possible corruption, Dobbs recommends hermetic grep meditation excercises and 'priming' by multiple rereadings of THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS during excremeditation.
small print warning: If you indulged in untoward personal abuse of psychotomimetic chemicals during the 60, 70s or 90s, use of this Web Site MAY TRIGGER FLASHBACKS.
The Church of the SubGenius and The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., shall not be held responsible for viruses which may infect computer or User, nor for User's name and address being copied for governmental security agency files due to monitoring of this site, nor for User hanging by his or her ankles from hooks while prison guards have their way with User's delicate sensibilities. We were kidding before, but this is SERIOUS.
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(Do not attempt to literally write name. Merely concentrate on the blank line and think "Dallas.")
It is almost too late for you to return to your normal Web sites. You are about to be completely, irrevocably committed to finishing what you have begun.
You may still return to the safety of your home page, but this is your last chance. Do you want to continue? DO YOU WANT TO MEET "BOB"?
SKULL DOBBS by Rev. FREEMAN. Top illo is by Rev. Mike Duggins, colored by Father Joe Mama. Pils by Miss Friday.