THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL
ISSUE # 04-2000
AIIIIEEEEE! It's been a great last year for the Church. Our out-of-print books (HIGH WEIRDNESS and 3 FISTED TALES OF "BOB") are to be reprinted by iUniverse.com; we've done successful, spirit-filled devivals in clubs in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, Amsterdam, Dallas, Cleveland, Tampa, Columbus, Mars and Lemuria. (And that's just since March!) We BUILT OUR OWN SHIPS and shops -- got our OWN NEW OFFICE BUILDING in Dallas, and a branch office in Cleveland. We've been getting GREAT PRESS (including the great CLYDE LEWIS'S GROUND ZERO, lots of local TV and NPR); I, Stang am back on LIVE radio, and THE HOUR OF SLACK is STILL on 17 stations. TIME MAGAZINE'S ONLINE MILLENIUM POLL voted "Bob" FRAUD OF THE CENTURY! We've done our homework -- the rehearsals, the prep, the sacrifices; we laid a launching pad, built our own ships; we're on board, we got our lighters READY right up against that fuse! EARTH FIRST -- THEN THE OTHERS! SO LONG, SUCKER EARTH! WE'RE GONNA GET OFF -- or GET SCREWWED!
But there are CRITICAL last-minute things we all must do before the Xists vacate the premises -- presumably with us dues-paying Ministers aboard. If you're planning to come to Brushwood for the Great Gathering, OR if you're thinking of any LOCAL preparations for the ending of this Time and Half Time, then read the IMMEDIATE XXX-DAY NEWS and learn how NOT to FUCK UP MAJORLY!! Then HURRIEDLY read:
IMPORTANT CHURCH NEWS
RANTS -- latest from alt.slack and beyond
CHURCH IRC CHAT devivals
SUBGENIUS NET RADIO
Some NEW WEBSITE ADDITIONS!
TRANSLATIONS of PRIMARY SUBGENIUS PROPAGANDA into FRENCH, SPANISH, and ITALIAN.
Did you know that there is a SUBGENIUS NEWS EMAIL LIST?
Email JESUS and ask to be added.
OUR PREVIOUS FIST ISSUE
Don't panic, Old SUbSITE is still there. We WILL be gradually removing chunks of it from the Web, staring with the older devival photos and art mines sections. But if you're concerned about missing one of the 9,000 files, you can now BUY Old SubSITE on CD-Rom.
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DO YOUR PART FOR DECENCY! KEEP THIS SICK PORNO BANNER OFF OUR HOLY RELIGIOUS WEBSITE for only $250/month! Or rent your own ad space to replace it. Write to email@example.com for details.
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If you have a complaint with this site, shut your yap, or join the ranks of SubSITE SLAVES: I, Stang, Jesus "Steve" Christ, IrRev. Friday Jones, RevBroVT and Rev. Boddhisatva Troutwaxer!
Plastic Model Kit "Bob" by Stang; other art this page by IrRev. Friday Jones.