William Cooper -- Shut The Fuck Up!

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Tue, Nov 6, 2001 5:29 PM

Eager, AZ -- Short-wave radio talk show host William "Bill"
Cooper was shot dead last night during a gun battle with
Sheriff's Deputies. According to Detective Frank Valenzuela
of the Arizona Department of Public Safety, the shooting
took place at 11:40 PM outside of Cooper's home at 96 North
Clearview Circle, Eager, AZ.

According to Valenzuela, Police had intelligence that Cooper
had a large quantity of weapons in his home, and possibly
explosives. As such, the Sheriff's Department wanted to
arrest Cooper away from his home, so as to minimize the
possibility of armed conflict.

While on his way back up the hill to his home, a fully marked
Sheriff's patrol vehicle blocked the road in front of Cooper.
Uniformed members of the Sheriff's Department SWAT Team
exited that marked vehicle and told Cooper to stop, keep his
hands where they could see them and exit the vehicle. They
say Cooper placed one hand outside his window, then accelerated
around the police car, trying to run over a Sheriff Sergeant.
Police gave brief chase to Cooper's home.

Police say Cooper exited his vehicle, drew a handgun and
began firing at Deputies as he ran toward his house. One
Deputy Sheriff was struck at least once and possibly twice
in the head. Another Deputy returned fire, hitting Cooper
several times.

The wounded Deputy was evacuated by Helicopter to a hospital
in Phoenix. Cooper was pronounced dead at the scene by
Paramedics who were at the scene standing-by.

"No one is safe." -- nu-monet

Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>

as in ex-navy intelligence bill cooper, the CIA and the martians are in
cahoots witht the mining operations on the moon and mars bill cooper,
behold a pale horse bill cooper?

Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: "Rev. Enki" <revenki@home.com>

Yeah -- and he stole that title from Danny Casolaro.


Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Oh, he was a nut, a very strange nut,
And he ranted and raved the day through;
So we laughed when he spoke,
And called him a joke,
What else would you want us to do?

So why did the Sheriff come and gun him down?
So why did the Sheriff come and gun him down?

Was it true what they said, he was touched in the head?
Calling the government "monstrous", and worse?
It was darn close to treason,
But it gave them a reason
For the Sheriff to come and gun him down.

And that's why the Sheriff came and gunned him down.
And that's why the Sheriff came and gunned him down.

So the next time you're drunk, or fired up and such,
And you call out the gov'ment--like a clown
Don't be shocked if the weather,
Says "hot time to slap leather"
And the Sheriff, and his boys, come to gun you down.

When the Sheriff he comes and guns you down.
When the Sheriff he comes and guns you down.

"No one is safe." -- nu-monet

Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: andreux <andreux@eterna.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 7, 2001 10:44 AM

nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in news:3BE8643C.4AE5@succeeds.com:

> Eager, AZ -- Short-wave radio talk show host William "Bill"
> Cooper was shot dead last night during a gun battle with
> Sheriff's Deputies.

That's the second SW broadcaster that they've
gone off on...

(I forget the other guy's name, still off in the
woods of Kentucky or something...)


Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

I met this guy, if it's the same one! At that Phenomicon consipracy
convention in Atlanta in the early 90s. It was the WEIRDEST scene. On
the last day the organizer threw together a huge "panel discussion"
with an insane mix of guests. On the "far right" you might say was
Robert Schafer from the Skeptics org, SICOP or whatever the
abbreviation is (Jesus I have to give a talk to the local skeptics
society next week!). Then there was me, and Robert Anton Wilson.
Schafer had earlier TORN into Pope Bob basically for his pranksterism.
(But he LIKED the SubGenius church!) But then down from Pope Bob was
Donald Keyhoe the UFO researcher, a string of little old ladies who
were New Age seers or astrologers or some such hocus pocus, and then
there was BILL COOPER, great big guy, all florid and red faced, partly
from acne scars. He was MAD AS HELL. He immediately started to "take
command" of the panel by denouncing these NEFARIOUS people on the right
end of the room -- me and Pope Bob -- who had TRIVIALIZED and MOCKED
the very serious subjects that this convention was all about, and that
we were TRAITORS TO AMERICA just as bad as the Feds.

Pope Bob and I just sort of looked at each other like, "Damn, busted,"
but Cooper got practically shouted down by the audience, several of
whom pointed out that had not halfway skeptical people like me and
Wilson lent nuts like Cooper SOME credence, most of that con audience
wouldn't have given him and his astrologer girlfriends the time of day.

Pope Bob and I were glad that not everybody equated us with war
criminals like Hitler and Clinton.

It's a shame that any Cooper goes out this way, but... shit, what
exactly do these guys THINK is going to happen when they pull out guns
and shoot at cops?

And poor Cooper, being surrounded on the highway like that, it was
exactly what he expected... he probably had fantasized about how he'd
try to escape and then go down with guns blazing.


Okay then... as vice cult leader of this cult under "Bob" -- well
actually I'm more like the Undersecretary to the Treasurer -- FOR

My policy as weird cult leader, when and if faced with a squad of cops
pointing guns at me, is and has always been to put my hands up slowly,
look scared and say, "Yes, Officer, your honor, sir, I will cooperate
and go right to jail, here are my wrists for the handcuffs, I'm sure I
can call a lawyer later and we can get this all straightened out."
That's what I would do. So if you ever read in the paper that I was
killed after a furious gun battle with the IRS, and that I tried to
machine gun a post office truck while yelling, "GUARANTEED DELIVERY BY
X-DAY, YOU FUXX!!", well, it's probably not true, and therefore Bill
Cooper was prpobably completely right that whole time, and they simply
silenced him and released this a trumped up tale of his "resistance."

Gosh, I hope he wasn't right about me and Pope Bob, too.

4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>


"On July 5, at 3:03pm, Officer John R. Bodds noticed
a vehicle with a defective tail light traveling South
on M.L.K. Boulevard. He pulled the vehicle over with
intent to issue a warning to the driver. The driver's
face was partially obscured by a strange hat, so the
Officer requested he step out of the vehicle.
In doing so, the driver inadvertently spilled a large
hot coffee he was holding on the Officer's lap, which
caused severe burns to the Officer's genitalia and
crotch area. The driver then pulled a handkerchief
and bent over, apparently with the intent of helping
to dry the officer off. Unfortunately, one or more
fish hooks or other pieces of sharp metal on his hat
both punctured the Officer's pepper spray canister and
got stuck in the zipper of the Officer's trousers.
Both men then ineffectively struggled to free themselves
and discard the spraying canister of pepper gas. This
was observed by passing motorists who assumed that the
driver was either attacking the officer or attempting to
involuntarily give him oral sex on a public thoroughfare.
Soon, other units started to arrive and, unable to see
what was happening in the cloud of pepper spray, but
hearing loud and violent remarks, drew their weapons and
began to fire into the confusion.
Both Officer Bodds and the driver then fled into a
building for their own safety, which they believed to be
a men's bathhouse and massage, but was in reality used
as a meeting place for extremist organizations; and which
had inadvertently double booked the establishment that
afternoon for both the New Black Panther Party and the
White American's Freedom Power and Militia.
Within the building, tempers had already risen, due to
the arrival of both hostile organizations; and when the
Officer and the still half-bent-over driver burst
through the door in a hail of gunfire, both screaming as
pepper gas came spraying out of the ruptured canister;
many of the armed individuals in the room, who incidentally
were, for the most part, undercover police officers
themselves, pulled their weapons and commenced firing,
somewhat, and ironically, indiscriminately.
Successfully running the gauntlet of gunfire without
injury, the Officer and the driver departed through what
they believed was the back exit of the building, but what
turned out to be a shared door of an adjacent Moslem
The details of what occurred in the Mosque are someone
sketchy, but what is known is that the Chinese Mafia
was using it, while acting as a peace broker between a
radical Moslem faction, the Jewish Defense League, and
an activist Hindu paramilitary organization.
Within the hour, the governor had called in a National
Guard Attack Helicopter Wing to supress the disturbance,
which had spread throughout the downtown area of
Cleveland, leaving a wake of destruction unparalled in
the history of the State of Ohio. There were many
casualties, one of which, the Reverend Ivan Stang, was
accidently killed by a stray police bullet while he was
sitting in his stateroom and sipping a diet Pepsi while
watching the events unfold on television."

"No one is safe." -- nu-monet

Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: opalpeacok@aol.com.de.it (Salacia the Overseer)

Ivan Stang said,

>I met this guy, if it's the same one! At that Phenomicon consipracy
>convention in Atlanta in the early 90s.
I think I witnessed this panel discussion at the Castlegate. I don't remember
little old lady astrologers, probably because I was swilling beer like an idiot
and the entire conversation went right over my head. My befogged brain
remembers an hallucination of Bob Black heckling from the back of the room.
That might have been a different panel discussion.

Headmistress Salacia the Overseer
Branch Salacians
Director of Programming & Keeper of the Seven Squeals,
Pilgrims are scarier than Santa


Subject: Re: Shut The Fuck Up!
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Nov 7, 2001 8:23 PM
Message-ID: <12F394FD99428D7D.CA4DF6E02FD164E8.429E303BE51300FA@lp.airnews.net>

In article <Xns915262EBACFC7andreuxeternanet@>,
andreux <andreux@eterna.net> wrote:

> (I forget the other guy's name, still off in the
> woods of Kentucky or something...)

Rudy Somthinertheother.

What ever happened to Janiter From Michigan?
Haven't heard from that clown in awhile.

Did the black helicopters get him too?

The crap about a UN tunnel under Detroit was shitte
and all these guys missed Bin Laden's war on NY.

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston

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