REAL Three-Fisted Tales

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.magdalen,alt.friday
Date: Sun, Apr 14, 2002

Friday Jones <thefridayjones@hotmail.com> wrote:
> http://www.bme.freeq.com/people/addsub/index.html
>
> Very scary ...

Princess Wei is now informing me that G Gordon Gordon and I predicted
this very thing, about 10 years ago! She heard us doing it! (I don't
remember.) People would get so bored with dull old branding, etc. that
amputations and transplants would be next. And it would start with
tips of little fingers. She claims we said all this. Hell, for all I
know it's in Revelation X. But more likely, we amputated that gag
because it was too "crazy."

I guess the broomstick in the ass already came and went.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB
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From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

iDRMRSR says...
>I would like such a finger! But I guess I'd have to clone myself first,
>as I am not a twin. As you get on in years, quite frankly, reaching
>back to shine Mr. Browneye gets tougher and tougher. Two, three inches
>more and I won't have to have a nurse do it for me when it's time for
>the home. And the laundry bills would go down dramatically.

Sterno has this painting on one wall of his kitchen, a very obvious, um,
PUCKER. I says one time "Izzat whut I think it iz?" He says to me, he says "Its
from th' Anus Collection. Like it?" Sounds like you woulda posed for it if you'd
known there was a demand. You filthy guy.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Bursting with Popely goodness

The trouble with born-again Christians is
that they are an even bigger pain
the second time around.
- Herb Caen

"He's a bit insane at the moment,
but he'll get over it."
- "Invader Zi
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: iDRMRSR <alexithymia@depression.org.east>

HPH:
>>He says to me, he says "Its from th' Anus Collection. Like it?" Sounds like you
woulda posed for it if you'd known there was a demand. You filthy guy.<<

Hmmm, I'll be eligible to retire in two years. Sounds like a good way
to make a little beer money!

BTW, at my last physical, before my cheeks had a chance to flap back on
each other, the doctor said "Everything looks beautiful there". Puts me
on the "Dr.'s Recommend" list!

[*]
-----
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From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)

>BTW, at my last physical, before my cheeks had a chance to flap back on
>each other, the doctor said "Everything looks beautiful there". Puts me
>on the "Dr.'s Recommend" list!

Tell him he owes you dinner and a movie.

"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"
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From: thefridayjones@hotmail.com (Friday Jones)

"Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote...
> "Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus" wrote
> > "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote:
> > > the finger I buy MAYBE but no way on the arm.
> >
> > Did you check out what the rest of the site is about? Look around a
> > little and report back.
> > http://www.bme.freeq.com/
> > I find it extremely unlikely that this would work without anti
> > rejection
> > drugs, but who knows? They said they had professional medical help.
> > Theirs is the most extreme example, but these folks are very odd.
>
> I know what BME is about. Tons of for real stuff for sure on there. I
> still don't buy it. What did they do, rewire a shitload of veins into
> the whole arm? REAL DOCTORS barely transplant a hand and it gets a huge
> write up in the news, so 2 shitheads working out of their bedrooms pull
> a Dark Backwards and graft a whole arm with tattoos and "they don't want
> to talk about it"?
>
> FUH
>
> DOUBLE FUH
>
> $10 says bullshit, you feelin' lucky?

I doubt that he can DO anything with that arm, mind you. It's just
hanging there. The thing with the hand was it was a donor hand, not
from the guy's twin or anything, AND he was supposed to get sensation,
movement etc. out of it.
I heard the transplant hand withered up and died because the guy
neglected his exercise and drug regimen.
What would YOU be willing to do to keep your hand alive?

---

My flabber is well and truly ghasted
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

Friday Jones <thefridayjones@hotmail.com> wrote
>What would YOU be willing to do to keep your hand alive?

Shine my Rocket, spank my monkey, polish my porpoise, raise my jib, lower my
boom.

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"

Lt. Frank Drebin, "The Naked Gun"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "glassgnost" <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>

I happen to know that it's bullshit - Shannon put that page up for April
Fools Day a couple of years ago.

--
"You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!"
- Dr. Strangelove
Mystical Reverend Doktor glassgnost, Minister of Unnatural Selection
- dlindner (at) socal (dot) rr (dot) com -

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Original file name: REAL Three-Fisted Tales.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:07