So, just wondering, Stang

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Oct 29, 2002 1:01 PM

Alliekatt <> wrote:

> I know you're incredibly bogged down with massive amounts of "work" in doing
> the HoS and all those scans and CDs and devivals and stuff, but I was just
> curious, is there a timetable, or at least a general whereabouts of
> wheneverness, on when I get to see this year's glorious new Fist on SubSite?
> huh? huh? huh? huh? huh?
> alliekatt

Well, just this morning I woke up wondering that too -- wondering if I
needed to rethink my schedge, YET AGAIN. I'm stuck between a sponge and
a soft soppy damp place. We have enough money to keep the PO box and site open,
but not enough to hire help, much less actually PRINT the long-laid-out
paper FIST. (They were being mailed out almost quarterly until July
'99, when we discovered too late that more "SubGeniuses" had been more
disappointed on 7-5-98 than we would have expected.) So, for the money,
and for the pure unrelenting SLACK of the products envisioned, I
desperately need to insert a zillion new things into the Church's Cafe Press

BUT, I have found that prepping the art takes much longer than I
thought. (Having already spent much longer than I expected just
SELECTING from the 4,000 pieces.) For technical reasons that would
become clear only if you examine Cafe Press and compare the SHITTY new
age products with the GOOD new age products, each piece of art has to
be specially prepared for each type of product it's used on.

For instance, I left off last night on the wall posters of Heart
Ignition's "45 Dobbsheads". That art already fits the aspect ratio of
the 16 x 20 posters, but for the larger 23x35 poster I had to create its
own special "frame" around the art to make it fit the Cafe Press
configuration right -- lest Cafe Press do it, wrong. Plus, the blow-ups
from the slack-artists' teeny originals to printable size take about 5 minutes
each even on a G4 Mac (using Genuine Fractals).

So I just now caught on that what I wanted to do with the catalog would
take more like a MONTH than a couple more days. It's not just simply
converting of formats and sizes; I know how to bulk-convert, in fact
I'm an expert at that. Unfortunately the catalog work requires actual
thought and choices, not to mention devilishly exacting technical

So meanwhile I have this HUGE stash of HTMLed text that was
text-prepped before 5X-Day by Two Beans, Temujin and Phloighd. (There
was an equal amount that *I* was going to prep, but haven't had a
chance to get to.) I COULD go ahead and mount that text older TODAY

But it would have NO artwork, NONE of the current events shit, and I
just HATE to do that.

But, I might do it anyway. Do the HALF-ASSED Online Fist... and a
QUARTER of the new product choices A.S.A.P... then go back and fill in
the blanks -- more art basically -- as time allows.

It's plainly and simply a matter of me not having enough arms or enough
time. If only I could avoid that SLEEP shit... but I learned what
happens if I do. I'm just now getting my memory of the early 90s back.
I used to let Church work eat up my own personal Slack, and found that
that defeated the purpose worse than not working at all.

I have mailed whole sets of CDRs of all of SubSITE to several people
who have said they would help me revise it, but I have not actually
heard back from any of the ones I sent that to, except Two Beans, who
did the new front page. Those CD-Rs also contain all the material
for the Online Fist.

So, my plan is to plug along like I always have. If somebody downloads
a page off SubSITE and sends me the revised HTML I will upload it. Like
I did with St. Mykal's revised 5X-Day index page. So far he, Jesus, Noah Stewart
and Troutwaxer have been the only people to actually do that -- copy a
page off the site and send it back improved. (Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Everybody wants to write stories and make cool artwork, but sometimes I
seem to be the only one who both knows the HTML and also will actually
DO more than a page at a time of it for SubSITE. (I know, ya get what
ya pay for, and as I said, we WANT to have PAID HELP again!) It's too
bad that the HTML that I know is 1996-era, but I haven't had time to do
the Adobe GoLive 5 tutorial. Hell, they came out with Adobe Go Live 6
since I GOT Go-Live 5. There are dozens of SubGenius "fan sites" that
are much slicker looking than SubSITE.

You cannot imagine how much I miss making my own graphics or, most of
all, making more animation and editing more video! I was born to do
that shit... but, god damn it. Gotta make rent first. The age old story.
I'm sure everyone with a job can identify with this age-old quandry. Luckily the
HOUR OF SLACK sates my A.V.-jones just enough to prevent KILLING.
I will let you lazy bastards and bastresses live yet another day.

It's a balancing act, for sure, but paradoxically I personally am
actually getting more Slack than ever. Not letting this glacial
slowness get me down is fairly easy because we have ALWAYS endured this
glacial slowness. Also I have gotten better at emotionally distancing
myself from biz problems. My wife and I eat great dinners, and then lay
around and watch a couple of cartoons every night like slobs, no matter
what other crisis is happening. (Praise alt.binaries.multimedia.futurama)

I just sent out a Lymph Node Institute rerun to the stations instead of
an Hour of Slack this week. I have not planned to do any devivals
myself at all in the future until I catch up on all this other stuff or
unless they pay my full preaching fee ($1500). You know, HIGH WEIRDNESS
and THREE FISTED TALES would be in reprint right now, if I had ONE
SPARE WEEK to prep THAT material. But it's one of those things that
doesn't pay until after the job's done, and everybody PAID for that

You know what else I told myself this morning? That I would not look at
this newsgroup but would just go straight to Photoshop or GoLive.

Perhaps I should take that as a HINT! For ONCE! But god damn it,
posting snotty comments in this newsgroup is my very favorite creative
outlet practically! (DON'T ASK ME WHY!!) Besides, I have never been
able to find anyone who would help me watch the newsgroup and
selectively archive it. Yet it's full of great shit amidst the shitty
shit which MUST be preserved! (Again, DON'T ASK ME WHY; I JUST *KNOW*

Now WATCH -- the main responses to this post will be that I am using
the wrong HTML program and that if I was on [name of other program
here] it would all be easy. Or... here, I'll mention a movie. "ALIENS
3." There. Now there will be a follow-up thread about the ALIENS movie

And *until* the Revolution comes, the SubGeniuses will PARTY AND

Perhaps that IS the Revolution, in which case most of us are already
doing the Right Thing.

Anyone who is about to tell me they want to help? DON'T!! *JUST SEND
way to tell me you want to help. (If it's larger than 3 or 4 mb, post it to alt.binaries.slack.)

Which part should you start with?

have no ideas for.

And, thanks to all our listeners for listening, and to the pornographer
who buys a $100 monthly banner on SubSITE. Wouldn't it be cool if
someone besides me, and a pornographer, had something to sell. Besides
our pornography.

4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: