Are you getting yours?

From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Date: Sat, Feb 2, 2002

Scientists have determined that the average time of intercourse is
four minutes.

The average number of strokes per minute is nine, making the average
intercourse of thirty-six strokes.

Since the average size is six inches, the average girl receives 216
inches or 18 feet per intercourse.

The average girl does it three times a week, fifty weeks out of the
year and 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just a little over a half
mile.

So girls, are you getting your half mile a year?
--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Are you getting yours?
From: "LXIX" <post_replys_please@this.address.is.invalid>

To extend "pun intended" on this notion.

Average girth is 4.84 inches that makes a cross-sectional area of
about 1.864 square inches for an average volume per pump of 11.185
cubic inches per stroke.

At nine strokes per minute that would create a flow of 100.664 cubic inches
per minute or about 0.436 gallons per minute or 15.69 gallons per "event".

Over a given year that would be 2354.4 gallons.

--LXIX--
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From: mumthra@yoo-ess-ay.net (Mumthra)

Or 301363.2 ounces, which should have a street price of $75,340,800.

Porking persons: Are you getting your PAYCHECK?

For $75 million worth of fuck, you should at least get a RILLY good
dental plan.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

>
> Porking persons: Are you getting your PAYCHECK?

After a certain age, it's more of a pension.

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From: "Evangela" <evangela2000@mediaone.net>

sooooooooooo inaccurate! ladies, do you buy this? modemac, i dunno how you
fuck, but i can't recall the last time i got or gave 9 strokes per minute,
that is snail slow. and sex usually lasts for 20 minutes to an hour and a
half, with the occasional quickie or marathon, not four minutes on an
average. And as for the 6 inches for average length, I agree that is about
right BUT nobody goes all the way out and then all the way back in with
every thrust. Usually the cock only exits about 3 inches, maybe 4 each time.
So, that's all i gotta say.
Evangela

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From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>

We of the alt.slack newsgroup need to conduct a study of
these issues personally, it looks like, to answer these questions
once and for all. Las Vegas might be a good place to meet.

--
Dial M: http://www.LisaMcPherson.COM
Dial F: http://www.SlatkinFraud.COM/
Dial R: http://www.RaulLopez.ORG/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>

On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 08:29:00 GMT, "Evangela"
<evangela2000@mediaone.net> wrote:
>sooooooooooo inaccurate! ladies, do you buy this? modemac, i dunno how you
>fuck, but i can't recall the last time i got or gave 9 strokes per minute,
>that is snail slow. and sex usually lasts for 20 minutes to an hour and a
>half, with the occasional quickie or marathon, not four minutes on an
>average.

I guess that's why they call it "average." It includes quickies,
premature ejaculation, the first time in the back seat of the car (do
people still do it there anymore?), the old "It's been a long day,
let's fuck then go to sleep, honey," and even the "Let's do it before
we get caught!" as well as those hour-and-a-half lovemaking sessions.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

As Robert Shea used to point out all the time, there is actually no
such thing as "average"; it's a statistical construct. His partner Pope
Bob would probably add that it was constructed by guys with average
length dicks.

Modemac IS a sex god, and we've all seen him fuck. Sometimes Modemac
fuxks like a rabbit, 13 seconds of frenzied pumping and then he flops
over snoring. Other times he's the penultimate slow, giving, sensual
lover. Then sometimes he's like a porno actor, just bends 'em over,
cracks 'em open and gives 'em a good brushfucking like cleaning a
shotgun barrel with a wire brush.

It depends on the mood, the music, the ambience. Just don't put on "The
Monkey Chased the Weasel."

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

In article <060220021143489008%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. says...

>Modemac IS a sex god, and we've all seen him fuck. Sometimes Modemac
>fuxks like a rabbit, 13 seconds of frenzied pumping and then he flops
>over snoring. Other times he's the penultimate slow, giving, sensual
>lover. Then sometimes he's like a porno actor, just bends 'em over,
>cracks 'em open and gives 'em a good brushfucking like cleaning a
>shotgun barrel with a wire brush.

I'm glad to hear his wanger is still in good operating condition. I could have
sworn it was slain in "Clash of the Titans."

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Recreation Director, Dildonia Prime

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

>
> The average number of strokes per minute is nine, making the average
> intercourse of thirty-six strokes.

Some of us are a bit over average. Ahem.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
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Subject: Re: Are you getting yours?
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

>
> We of the alt.slack newsgroup need to conduct a study of
> these issues personally, it looks like, to answer these questions
> once and for all. Las Vegas might be a good place to meet.

Great. I'll work on the questionnaire, you reserve the hotel and
provide entertainment.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <060220021143489008%stang@subgenius.com>, Rev. Ivan Stang
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Modemac IS a sex god, and we've all seen him fuck. Sometimes Modemac
> fuxks like a rabbit, 13 seconds of frenzied pumping and then he flops

Ever see his Galapagos Turtle On DMT impression? Cosmic, mang.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

>
> So girls, are you getting your half mile a year?

It just occurred to me: If by this you mean, do I get average sex, the
answer is FUCK NO.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

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Original file name: Are you getting yours? - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:05