What're you watchin' on TeeVee?



From: HellPope Huey
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 19, 2002

The sicko "adult" cartoons, plus X-Men: Evolution.
 "Family Guy" is a rolling short-circuit. M'HUNH!
West Wing. Its good partly 'cause it ain't STUPID.
Mad TV. I had a cousin who WAS Stewart.
Boston Public. Sorry, I do.
Becker. Me as a doctor.
NYPD Blue, still.
Drew. I like Drew.
Whose Line Is It Anyway? It rocks hard when it works.
NOW with Bill Moyers.
Politically Incorrect. Same to you.
Squirts of Conan O'Brien. Face it, Triumph is a SubG dog.
NOVA here & there, when it ain't about tapirs or indigenous peoples.
Meet The Press, when I have Alka-Seltzer.
Austin City Limits & In Concert, sometimes. Leo Kottke rocks me.
Bad old movies as wallpaper.
Videos I mostly hate afterwards.
Videos like Sam Kinison concerts, which are holy.
The sick commercials, they're BAACCONNNNN!!!
The President. I throw frogs at the screen & then switch.
"Arise!", over and over and over.
Test patterns.
6 old porn vids of my favorite secret perversions.
Then more cartoons.

  HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
      Bite the wax tadpole. Do it now.

    "I only speak two languages:
         English and bad English."
             - "The Fifth Element"

   "The covers of this book are too far apart."
             - Ambrose Bierce

   "It burns like a Glasgow bikini wax!"
             - Groundskeeper Willie
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: xenu

On 19 Feb 2002 18:15:35 -0800, HellPope Huey
wrote:

That a lot of tv.

I believe that TV is the con's way of programming the masses into
mindless zombies. Making them more open to being told what to where
,think, who to be mad at and i could go on but i will not.

I recommend reading the classic "four arguments for the elimination of
television" by jerry mander it's from the 70's but i believe it still
holds true maybe even more so toady.

the book describes the power of advertising and corporate america to
control the sway of the public through the use of the mass media.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)

X Files, if I remember to turn it on.
Robot Wars until that ran its course and they ran out.
Not much else, really.

Cheerful Charlie
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Alliekatt"

"HellPope Huey" wrote in message
news:a4v0s702407@drn.newsguy.com...
>
>
> The sicko "adult" cartoons, plus X-Men: Evolution.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force?  But Brak is finally starting to annoy me and I love
the guy.

> "Family Guy" is a rolling short-circuit. M'HUNH!

I'll admit the bit about all the lost socks going to Narnia was pretty
funny.

> West Wing. Its good partly 'cause it ain't STUPID.

forgivable.  but boring.

> Mad TV. I had a cousin who WAS Stewart.

forgivable.

> Boston Public. Sorry, I do.

unforGIVable!

> Becker. Me as a doctor.

eh.

> NYPD Blue, still.

titties!

> Drew. I like Drew.

very permitted.

> Whose Line Is It Anyway? It rocks hard when it works.

very permitted.  BBC version rocks.

> NOW with Bill Moyers.

eh.

> Politically Incorrect. Same to you.

eh.  arguing bubbleheads.  entertaining like one of those "fifth wheel"
dating shows.

> Squirts of Conan O'Brien. Face it, Triumph is a SubG dog.

at least he ain't leno.

> NOVA here & there, when it ain't about tapirs or indigenous peoples.

permitted.  I like the ones with world armageddon and goopy surgery.

> Meet The Press, when I have Alka-Seltzer.

errggh.

> Austin City Limits & In Concert, sometimes. Leo Kottke rocks me.

Leo is GOD.

> Bad old movies as wallpaper.

permitted.

> Videos I mostly hate afterwards.

The Goonies!!!

> Videos like Sam Kinison concerts, which are holy.

Very permitted.

> The sick commercials, they're BAACCONNNNN!!!

Very permitted.

> The President. I throw frogs at the screen & then switch.

Very permitted.

> "Arise!", over and over and over.

WAY WAY permitted.

> Test patterns.

good for froppin.

> 6 old porn vids of my favorite secret perversions.

yay!  My favorite is one of truck stop bathroom sex on a leaky porcelain
sink with a black chick and a middle aged white Southern boy who's hung like
a mule.  The go-go background music is all bluegrass.  Yuh HUH.

> Then more cartoons.

unforGIVable!!!
Gir.  I have your tacos.

I watch the BBC.  Castaway B.C. rocked.  And mummy shows.  And I'm silly
enough to watch Enterprise.  What can I say, I like it.


alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Lee Roy Sphits"

On 19-Feb-2002, xenu wrote:

> the book describes the power of advertising and corporate america to
> control the sway of the public through the use of the mass media.

No offense is intended toward you "xenu" but I must ask (with, of course,
all due RESPECT); You need a BOOK to tell you this?
Sheep just LOVE to be sheep. If madison ave. Was hit by several fully fueled
747's (Bob forbid- or not?) the rank and file, card carrying members of the
great unwashed would simply lose thier way.(Nice thought?)
A great man (I think it was Max Von Sydow playing Ming the Merciless in the
early 80's clasic "Flash Gordon") once asserted that it was necessary to
plague humanity with earthquakes and meteor impacts in order to make
humankind more "tractable" but hey, just how TRACTABLE can one species get?
Take away the PDA's,  flat screen TV's, cell phones, and (Bob help us all)
AOL and what's left of american society? A bunch of simps rooting around
junkyards in search of some spare parts for their "cherry GTO" or sticking
berries up their noses.
I like to watch the local 6 o'clock news. It's the most obvious tool that
THEY have. In between the gruesome and constant reports of inner city
apartment fires that kill multiple aduls and children you can always find
the ubiquitous and entertaining "how to" guide to life for idiots; "better
buckle up!", Better get your kids vaccinated!", "you need to turn that
darned SPACE HEATER off when you go to bed" etc...
WE like to think that we not only thumb our noses at the con and their dupes
but that we thrive on robbing pure SLACK from unsuspecting pinks, but this
wouldn't be possible in a world without television. Especially PBS (you WITH
me?)
--
The enemy of my enemy is my OTHER enemy...
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: write2mrs_babymash@yahoo.com (Mrs Babymash)

Fuck me swinging if Kevan didn't just say...:

>Teevee is beneath me. I avoid it as much as possible.

*Sudden mental image of penguin on tv exploding*
==============================================
Mrs Båbymåsh [668 - Neighbøur øf The Beåst]
"God, grant me SERENITY to deal with problems I can't change,
COURAGE to face the challenges of all other problems and
WISDOM to hide the bodies of those who fuck with me."          

http://mrs-babymash.dampgirl.com
==============================================
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: El Queso

Jerry Mander? He was GREAT as the Beaver. I love TV. It takes away the
pain.
Queso

xenu wrote:
>
> I recommend reading the classic "four arguments for the elimination of
> television" by jerry mander it's from the 70's but i believe it still
> holds true maybe even more so toady.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond"

HellPope Huey wrote:

> Then more cartoons.

Out of all those programs the only one's I've seen are: MAD TV, Nova,
Meet The Press, Austin City Limits, Drew, and WLIIA?. But I've seen a
lot of the same damn videos, I bet. Oh yeah, I have only 4 porn vids but
they each got three or four movies dup'ed on to 'em.

I mostly just watch movies, History Channel, Biography, Houston Astros
baseball games and shitty old crap on the TNN, TBS, Nickelodeon, TNT, &
USA, networks.

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"

In article , HellPope Huey
wrote:

> Then more cartoons.
>

Jesus fucking christ!  How the hell can a person read the requisite
three  or four cheap sci fi novels a week with all this TV viewing
going on? Where are your priorities? Or do you just read fast?

Princess Wei and I carefully dole out what TV we're going to watch,
because we have so many other things we have to do, half of it
involving money acquisition and the other half involving bipedal
talking animals that live all around these parts. So obviously we stick
to what cannot be delivered in books, recordings, or even common
movies:  

CARTOONS.

And since we went for the cable MODEM instead of the cable TV, the only
channel we get worth watching is Fox, so the only TV we watch are Mad
TV and the Sunday night cartoon shows, from Futurama to the incredible
Malcolm in the Middle.

Our old friend Lou DuChez has cable though, and tapes certain special
stuff for us if we ask -- like Dr. Hal the other night, and that
Firesign Theater appearance on PBS. Thus we stay caught up on cable
classic shows like Southpark somewhat. But we can fast-forward when we
want.

For pure human-watching bulldada, COPS was replaced for me by Jerry
Springer and then lately by these salacious dating shows they run after
midnight, Fifth Wheel and the like. I'm sure the novelty is about to
wear off, but I am still finding those just jaw-droppingly... modern.

Since I got the dang cable modem I read all my science stuff on the
web, I do all my music "shopping" that way, etc.

The show I'm watching this week is a DAW fantasy called "THE DRAGONS OF
THE CUYAHOGA," an odd take-off on dragon fantasy novels, in that it
takes place in a modern day Cleveland overrun by elves, mages and
dragons. Luckily it's not as cutesy as I feared, and is a big kick if
you live in this town since it's painstakingly "local" down to tiny
details of city history... but all interwoven with a cross between
Tolkein type shit and a Marlowe detective story. Bilbo Meets Marlowe.
In the Flats. Oddly like John Shirley's Dark Hole of Carcosa story
before "Bob" comes in (TWO LEFT of that product at Connivin Ivan's,
incidentally.) The special effects are the best thing on TV, when
you're me doing the reading.

I'm not a snob about TV at all, I would watch EVERYTHING and probably
like 90 % of it okay, if there were 95 days in a week. My big hobby
lately has been to get back into making videos myself, and lately every
time I watch anything, what I'm really looking at are how the title
graphics transitions are done and crap like that.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected    
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118  (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214    
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com        PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey

In article , xenu says...

>That a lot of tv.
>>I believe that TV is the con's way of programming the masses into
>mindless zombies. Making them more open to being told what to where
>,think, who to be mad at and i could go on but i will not.

Well SURE, that's a given, but *I* have der *"BOB"*gland, so I get all of the
amusement and virtually none of the programming, which is about as ingrained as
its ever GONNA be. Youse guys who wholly condemn TV amuse me; I see every
stoopid little laff or semi-accidental moment o' glory as sacred, so if you
wanna avoid it, cool; but I'm sittin' here writin' or dubbin' or pootin', not
STUDYING the damned box! There's little enough thrilling going on as is, so
let's enjoy every delish little morsel, unh?

Therefore, I respectfully submit that you bite my wax tadpole, EIEIEIEIEI!!

  HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
      I tried out for the lead
        in the live-action version
          of "Invader Zim,"
            but my thighs are too big. Damnit.

   "Wouldn't it be great
      if all of Osama bin Laden's money
        was tied up in Enron stock?"
                     - Dennis Miller

   "Its total truck domination!"
                     - Ford commercial

   "After a brief discussion,
         we've decide that you're a lying scumbag."
                    - "Special Unit 2"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey

In article <3C739683.D58086F6@subgenius.com>, "Col. says...

>I mostly just watch movies, History Channel, Biography, Houston Astros
>baseball games and shitty old crap on the TNN, TBS, Nickelodeon, TNT, &
>USA, networks.

Yeah, that shitty old crap rocks. It could only be better if it was all dubbed
in Swedish, like that episode of "Bonanza" I saw once. When you see Hoss
gobbling Nordically, you shit a piston.

 
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Bryan J. Maloney"

In article <200220021023306185%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:

> Jesus fucking christ!  How the hell can a person read the requisite
> three  or four cheap sci fi novels a week with all this TV viewing
> going on? Where are your priorities? Or do you just read fast?

I multitask or I go starkers from utter boredom.

--
America is a wonderful country.  Where else could a young Black man like
Michael Jackson grow up to be a middle-aged White woman?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: slaac@yahoo.com (Rev. Lemuel Atom)

this great new show called "Who Gives A Shit?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: thefridayjones@hotmail.com (Friday Jones)

Hmm, I watched a little figure skating last night ... but before that,
hardly anything.  Futurama on occasion.  Maybe the Simpsons.  That's
it.

---

Bob -"Duh duh duh dill pickle."
Boss - "Go clean the bathroom Bob!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey

In article <200220021023306185%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. says...

>Jesus fucking christ! How the hell can a person read the requisite
>three  or four cheap sci fi novels a week with all this TV viewing
>going on? Where are your priorities? Or do you just read fast?

I read while the TV is on. I read in the excremeditator. I read while stoopid
things download via my decrepit 28.8-er. I read all the magazines in offices and
waiting rooms, even the Watchtowers, if that's all they have. I play music as I
write when the TV is TOTALLY rank. I carry a book or magazine everywhere. I
answer e-mail and write essays while reading Usenet. I save TV quotes ON the Mac
WHILE I post my crap AND leave "Music For Airports" on at a low volume to keep
the rods from crumbling. I have a boom box at my elbow to play while the TV is
muted. And I NEVER GET TO FROP ANYMORE, which accounts for a portion of a few of
my hideous outbursts of late, as opposed to the inspired or "funny" ones. The
vent fan keeps the brain smoke going out the window so the smoke alarms aren't
set off. The last SERIOUS book I tried to read BURST INTO FLAMES after a while
and I had to throw it into the shower for a squirt. I sleep FOUR HOURS A NIGHT
before I wake UP, AGAIN!! And I write notes about OTHER things, such as Stuff To
Do and weird ideas or quotes to add to a folder or sumpin' later. Its stacked up
like dead Bobbies or my chewed-off fingernails! I send the damned Department of
Agriculture plumper porn! And did I mention that I NEVER NEVER GET TO FROP
ANYMORE!!!! The BATS, the damned ARKIES, the POSTAGE, the pointless ARGUMENTS,
the COLLAGE CLIPPINGS EVERYWHERE, the Nu-Monet, the OLD-Monet, the missing,
pissing, passing neo-quasi-non-gelling SLACK, YOU all think I'm KIDDING
KKKKKKKK#%$^&*(*^Y&GF^%*%(*&RRRRRRRRRRRR

Dear GOD, KILL ME! KILLL MEEEE!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey

In article <49b3655d.0202201503.76880b50@posting.google.com>, slaac@yahoo.com
says...
>
>this great new show called "Who Gives A Shit?"

I also suspect there'll be some hefty ad money made from UPN's pending "I'LL
CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!"

I heard the theme and it rocks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey

In article <8035207e.0202201538.177c1ddc@posting.google.com>,
thefridayjones@hotmail.com says...
>
>Hmm, I watched a little figure skating last night ... but before that,
>hardly anything.  Futurama on occasion.  Maybe the Simpsons.  That's
>it.

Actually, I'm a complete liar. I watch NO TV. I go to my sister's to watch
tapes of cartoons. Then I come home. There's a big fish tank in the case where
the TV tube used to be. It contains ONE pirahna. I lean in and cuss him like a
rappin' sailor several times a day YOU LITTLE BASTARD IF YOU'RE SO DAMNED GREAT
WHY ARE YOU IN *THERE* WHERE YOU HAVE TO *KISS* MY ASS INSTEAD OF BITING ONE OF
THOSE SILVER DOLLAR SIZED HOLES IN IT!!?? HUH!? TELL ME *THAT* YOU SCALY LITTLE
FUCK!!!?? and I'm not very popular with the neighbors but fuck 'em they're too
scared to say jack.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey

In article <3c8a586a.37023675@news.bigpond.com>, write2mrs_babymash@yahoo.com
says...
>
>Fuck me swinging if K3vain didn't just say...:
>
>>Teevee is beneath me. I avoid it as much as possible.
>
>*Sudden mental image of penguin on tv exploding*

I just had an image of there being a bidet UNDER that TV that's beneath him and
we suddenly crank the pressure up real hard and then his HEAD explodes like a
penguin. Y'know, all sparks and popped eyes shooting across the room. A new Cafe
Press shirt we can sell at X-Days.

 
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: lyonderboy666@hotmail.com (Anti Pope Lupus of SI)

HellPope Huey wrote in message news:...
>
>  I also suspect there'll be some hefty ad money made from UPN's pending "I'LL
> CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!"
>
>  I heard the theme and it rocks.

Personally, I don't really watch it, and it's not like its beneath me
or anything.  It's just that I can't stand commercials.  I have a very
low tolerence for them, and they seem to be getting worse as time goes
on.  That is, until you watch an old tape and see the fucking corniest
commercials ever.

Lately, I was making it a point to watch the live-action Tick.  But
now it's cancelled.  I also was watching Enterprise every week until
the repeats started.  There was some advertisement for four new
episodes, or something, and I was sure I'd watch them.  And then I
didn't.

So when I have a hankering for television, I watch one of the hundred
tapes or DVD's in the rack next to my tv.

Know what's funny?  I thought cutting tv out of my life would give me
all this extra free time.  So I did, but the time seems to just be
gone!  I guess it was just an etheral time-distortion meant to keep me
pacified.  Now I'm angry all the time, and want to watch tv again but
I can't.  My defenses are down, and now it just hurts.  All the time.
Like an orifice I need to re-widen.

Weep,
-APLY