I really MUST pay more attention to my personal appearance.

From: Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 11, 2002 10:40 AM

So, it happened again. A few months back, I was on my way to Ed Strange's
house, and I stopped for gas. There was this black woman at the cash
register, one of those ninja negresses with the veil and all, and she
seemed scared of me for some reason.

As I drove off, I realized that it MIGHT have had something to do with my
"Happy Face Hitler" t-shirt, in conjunction with my freshly-shaven head.

And so I said to myself, "Self, I really MUST pay more attention to my
personal appearance".

And so today I'm at the grocery store, and people everywhere are giving
me the stink-eye. Mind you, I'm in Philadelphia, just a short hop up the
turnpike from Maryland and DC.

I get home and realize I'm wearing a t-shirt with a big skull on the front,
with big bold red letters over it that reads a single word:

"SNIPER".

Duh.

--
Legume
----------
"I have been thinking about sitting down with Crazy Acid Burnout Man and
having a serious talk with him." - Ivan Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Dr. Legume, it has NOTHING TO DO with your personal appearance, it's a
question of SENSITIVITY, sensitivity for OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.

Dead kids are NOT FUNNY. For at -least- a month after they get
killed. Because for at least a month, the parents of the dead kids
are still in general circulation and part of the population, so in
effect it is 'our' dead kids, from the point of view of the people in
Philadelphia. See what I mean?

After a month or couple months, the parents will break down
psychologically sufficiently that they will probably need to be
medicated and removed from the general population, or maybe they will
become obssessed with the event in a really boring way so all their
freinds will ostracize them and forget about them completely except
once every 5-10 years when they will sigh to themselves and think
"God, it sure sucks how Bill/Jane went to pieces after their kid got
his brains blown out."

"I'm hope -I- never have to go through something like that!"

At which point it isn't 'our' dead kids, it's 'their' dead kids.

Then they're funny again.

OK?

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Have you had any formal psychotherapy?
>
******No. But I have a tuxedo.******

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

First rule of Sniper Club: Don't Talk About Sniper Club.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: IMBJR <imbjr@imbjr.com>

You DO NOT discuss - argh fuggit.

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From: rabbs@subgenius.com (Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde)

Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com> wrote in message news:<Xns92A46D43830D9154563@216.166.71.239>...

> As I drove off, I realized that it MIGHT have had something to do with my
> "Happy Face Hitler" t-shirt, in conjunction with my freshly-shaven head.
>
It suits you as well as the I Love Evil t-shirt, I'm sure.

Hell, I remember the time you showed up there DRESSED as Hitler. Won
the Halloween Costume Contest much to the judges' dismay. Was that
the same night that you heard that Xtian radio station utter "What
beast crawls towards Bethlehem"?

-With love, the Rabbs

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From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

I love you Rabbs

alliekatt

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Fri, 11 Oct 2002 19:31:12 GMT, "Alliekatt"
<alleykatzen@hotmail.com> wrote:

>If I had no Slack, Legume, I'd be scared shitless of you too. Especially if
>I first viewed you dressed in Rev's collar and cowboy hat with a whip stuck
>in your belt loop, sucking the extremities of a large chargrilled
>invertebrate.

I am scared shitless of him.

I just don't CARE that I'm scared shitless of him.

I guess that's slack.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

La reine est un fromage!

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From: Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com>

rabbs@subgenius.com (Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde) wrote:

> Was that
> the same night that you heard that Xtian radio station utter "What
> beast crawls towards Bethlehem"?

Actually, that wasn't the radio, that was my head. It was the first time I
went to Ed Strange's place, I followed him there in my car, and we'd just
gotten onto the highway and the sign said "Bethlehem", and the line from
Yeats wedged itself in my head; "And what rough beast, its hour come round
at last Slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?".

That was just before we rounded the turn and I first laid eyes on that
horrific giant monstrosity,the "Star of Bethlehem", and almost steered my
car off the road.

--
Legume
----------
"I have been thinking about sitting down with Crazy Acid Burnout Man and
having a serious talk with him." - Ivan Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

>"SNIPER".
>
>Duh.

Now you've done it! Now everyone's going to send you cute fluffy pink
shirt with bunnies and kittens on them.

Bound, blindfolded, and buttered, at last Leopold knew the semblance of peace.
- R. Leggatt

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From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>I get home and realize I'm wearing a t-shirt with a big skull on the front,
>with big bold red letters over it that reads a single word:
>
>"SNIPER".
>
>Duh.
>

You would proablly NOT want to Drive through the DC area any time soon

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"You remind Me a Song I can't name, in time I don't remember, in a place I
don't think I've ever been to."

Grampa Simpson

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: tylermasse@cs.comnojunk (Tyler D.)

Well, I think you should start shopping at Old Navy. That'll fix EVERYTHING.

Also, let your hair grow and get a really stupid perm.

Then, put on a little Old Spice. That is the perfect accessory for any outfit.

Once you have completed this "look", you can successfully blend in at Quickie
Marts all across this Fat Land without anyone realizing what an utter freak you
are.

HTH.

Tyler

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Original file name: I really MUST pay mor.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41