From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Mon, Nov 24, 2003 10:28 AM
ANY a.b.s. artist whose Dobbsheaded stuff I have used
on SubSITE or in
our catalog:
If you want me to remove your artwork from the Cafe
Press catalog, just
tell me (in a real letter, not some "rant"
I can't tell is a joke or
not), and I will remove it from the catalog THAT DAY.
Anybody who thinks I am ripping them off by using their
artwork on a CD
cover or a Cafe Press item, and displaying their artwork
on SubSITE,
and is about to suddenly feel ripped off and go into
a freaked out
frenzy of Stang-hate, please do me the slight favor
of coming to my
house or at least asking me specific questions. I will
happily show
you:
1) THE BOOKS
2) ALL MY EMAIL (seriously!!) including ALL ORDERS TO
BULLDADA TIME
CONTROL LABS FOR THE LAST YEAR (a slim stack actually)
3) THE CAFE PRESS LOG OF WHAT IS SOLD (mostly Memberships
and unaltered
Dobbheads and Wings of Slack)
3) A NICE LONG LOOK AT THE SUBG BANK ACCOUNT (online)
AND MY PERSONAL
BANK ACCOUNT
4) MY CREDIT CARD AND WEB SERVER BILLS
5) PHOTOS OF THE HUGE CROWDS and the BUSY BUSY SALES
TABLE AT THE 6
SHOWS I DID THIS YEAR
6) any other damn thing you would like to see, like
my one pair of
shoes, my one pair of pants, my one broken down car
on blocks in the
driveway, my fucking pantry, my god damn piggy bank.
7) The SubGenius Corporate Taxes and my personal taxes.
Let me put it
this way. SubGenius didn't owe, and I got tax REFUNDS.
People who live only 100 miles away, in towns like Columbus,
for
instance, should find it much easier in fact to do the
above than to
continue to boil with anger while they envision limos
and mansions
stacking up around here, and fat evil Stang selling
vast warehouses of
YOUR 72 DPI JPEGS to the Disney corporation or whatever
the fuck you
STALWART BUSINESSMEN and DETERMINED SELF PUBLISHERS
have been
imagining.
Personally I feel kind of sick to my stomach over this.
In the meantime, apparently NOBODY BUT ME has responded
to the woes of
LeMur. God damn it, what I was beating around the bush
about is, LEMUR
GOT SO BUMMED OUT FROM HIS FUCKED UP PAST MARRIAGES
and the
FUCKED-UPEDNESS OF THE SHIT IN GENERAL that he ATTEMPTED
SUICIDE in
Mexico, was shipped back to the USA to stew in a LOONEY
BIN for three
days and is now living at a Salvation Army and working
at a convenience
store in Tucson while he tries to regain his equilibrium
and the kind
of top level software jobs he had before it all came
crashing down on
him.
I have sent LeMUR very LITTLE in the way of royalties
over the years
because he said he didn't need it and by Gobbs, I DIDN'T
HAVE IT. But
now the guy is down and out. I used my credit card and
Western Unioned
him $300.
BUT NOBODY ELSE HERE DID A FUCKING GOD DAMN THING but
make more pretty
artwork from the photo of him.
Now, I might be a cigar chimping evil capitalist who
actually FUCKED
OVER all the mutants instead of being the one guy who
would put up with
their eccentricities no matter what... but for some
reason, it was ME
that LeMur decided to tell his horrible self destructive
plans to and
to SEND HIS COMPUTER TO, because he knew I would give
it to somebody
deserving. WELL, LUCKILY, HE FAILED TO SNUFF HIMSELF
and is now trying
to pull himself back up by his bootstraps, and I'm glad
I haven't even
OPENED the 5 boxes of LeMur stuff because I have faith
that he will be
using it again.
I let SubGeniuses come to my house and sleep on my floor.
HOW MANY
SUBGENIUSES HAVE *YOU" HAD COME VISIT, my friend?
How many beginner
artists have YOU been the first person to "publish"
or display forever
on a website, as if the art MEANT something? Come to
think of it, WHAT
EXACTLY HAVE *YOU* MY FRIEND done for ANY fellow SubGenius
artist,
outside of posting YOUR OWN PICTURES? Have you HTMLed
their art
galleries for them? Have you been friend enough to them
in real
personal life to have SOME inkling of who and where
and what they are?
How many checks have YOU sent out to your felloow SubGenius
artists?
Believe it or not, I HAVE SENT SOME. Did you put their
audio work on
the radio AT THEIR BEHEST? Did you invent some character
that you
basically GAVE AWAY, and that THEY all had fun with
for years and years
and years? (Don Tatro might know what I mean.)
Here's another thing. I tried to send Atom Funway money
for his art
over the years, specifically for the Steve Jackson Games
project (the
one paying SubGenius job since 1997). I really did.
He turned it down
at least twice, and said to send swag instead and specified
which swag
he would like. I sent him everything he asked for. You
will have to ask
him yourself to explain why he wouldn't take a check
from me. The
reason is actually quite pertinent to this whole discussion.
SO I guess I will spend the afternoon removing the angry
Funway Mummy's
artwork from the Cafe Press catalog. I cannot however
remove it from
SubSITE any time soon, as it takes almost as long to
tear down as it
did to put up.
But AGAIN: If ANY MANY-JACK AMONG you feels the SLIGHTEST
bit ripped
off, TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I would rather show you the
books, which WILL
indeed make you feel like a real HEEL for ASKING after
you've seen
them, OR, I will regretfully remove anything you ask
me to remove, NO
QUESTIONS ASKED. But please don't come back later and
say, "Oh, can you
put it all back?"
But you must do so in a "real" letter and
not a creative rant, because
I get very confused by creative rants when they're accusing
me of shit.
My phone number is 216-320-9528. As it says on all my
sigs and
everything I post. My real name is Douglass Smith and
my address is PO
Box 181417 Cleveland Hts OHIO 44118. ANYONE WHO WANTS
TO can call me up
and BITCH. I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL TO HIDE.
NOTHING. What's
your name and address, friends? My bank account has
$240 in it. I have
more in savings but that's literally all I have to retire
on, should I
live that long. Nothing for my kids. What's in your
bank account, my
sharing friend? And, what were you saying about how
I got rich ripping
off innocent, caring SubGenius artists?
Incidentally, just to get the histories straight, the
Dobbshead has
been trademarked since 1981. The word SubGenius is still
not
trademarked even though we've been trying for 20 years.
We'd have
finally gotten it by now, but that subgenius.net kid
filed an
obstruction. Apparently some people feel that I don't
have any right to
the word SubGenius or for that matter any of the things
I created.
"INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE." they said.
Well, I don't have a car and
YOUR CAR wants to be free, so, can I have it?
I'm afraid Hour of Slack this week is going to have
to be a rerun of
real old stuff. God damn it all to FUCK.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
Original file name: 1)Funway Angry.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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