A word from New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg

From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)
Date: Thu, Aug 14, 2003

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg attempts to explain the cause of the
blackout:

''It was probably a natural occurrence which disrupted the power system up
there and it apparently for reasons we don't know cascaded down through New
York state over into Connecticut, as far south as New Jersey and as far west as
Ohio.''

Apparently, for reasons we don't know, we probably don't know.

Mars? Satan? Eris?

Are Bob Diddley and the other fine Canadian musicians having a big concert? Are
the growlights in Flin Flon, Manitoba sucking up too much juice? Did Dick get
electrocuted by his pussygirl electric guitar and short out the whole northern
hemisphere? Sun spots?

Flin Flon, Manitoba.

Hey, this is kind of like that Twilight Zone episode.

"Flin Flon, Manitoba."

Attn.: SubPenis Hecklers
Yah, uh, kik 'um inna nutz. Haw! Haw!

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From: "Ned Wreck" <NedWreck@usenetserver.com>

Maybe it was them northern lights sucking up all the juice. Damn Canucks,
ya'd think they'd turn 'em off during peak usage periods, but noooooooo,
they leave the damned things on 24-7 even when it's too goddamned light
outside to see them. That, and all them fuckin' Frigidaires being used
up north of the Arctic Circle. Selfish fuckin' bastards, the lot of 'em.
mumble grumble piss stains

Ned

--
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!!! HTTP://WWW.SubGenius.com

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From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

Same grid as 1965.

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Plus these sissy-ass Yankees think that a mere 90 degrees is call for
air conditioning.

I, as a Texan living in Cleveland, have been working in a third story
ATTIC OFFICE all summer and I have yet to turn the A.C. on. I do have a
great big fan that sucks cool air from downstairs and pushes it OUT my
tiny attic window, what cool air isn't diverted directly to me by a
secondary fan at the stairhead. That, and I work in a cute French Maid
outfit that is extremely airy. Or else I'm just sitting here in my
drawers. Granted, they don't let you wear either in non-SubGenius
Foundation offices. In fact they make you BUTTON YOUR SHIRT CLOSED AT
THE NECK! Hell, I'd ENFORCE the drawers-only dress code if only I had
anybody to enforce it on besides me. If you unworthies would order more
sacred swag I could re-hire Nickie Deathchick, and then the dress code
would MEAN something.

I understand that all the nuclear power plants in France have been on
and off the blink all summer. They haven't China-Syndromed or anything,
but the Frogs are now faced with the choice of dumping more very hot
water into their rivers and streams, rendering them like the Cuyahoga
in 1965, or to turn down the A.C. and let the old folks die of heat
prostration.

At the Stang ranch in Texas, it's just drought as usual. What
everybody's used to, and what all the machines are geared for. Like
living on Mars. What shuts Texas down is ANY SNOW AT ALL.

Since my wife is out of town, my big plan for the evening is to turn on
the stove and fry up some EGGS and CANNED CORNED BEEF HASH with a lot
of jalapenos and onions. Might even dump a can of Clam Chowder on top
of it all. Like in The Day. HEAT! SWEAT!! Oh YAS.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: saint bubba <atropos@auracom.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>At the Stang ranch in Texas, it's just drought as usual. What
>everybody's used to, and what all the machines are geared for. Like
>living on Mars. What shuts Texas down is ANY SNOW AT ALL.
i was really expecting to see toronto at least boil over in a tempest
of panicy bay street monetary demons going apeshit and breaking things
and beating soccer moms to death with repeated blows of their gucci
atache cases to carjack their minivans of sugar high prepubescents on
their way to the CNE. i mean, toronto is a city that, three years ago,
had to beg the canadian army to come in and shovel them out from a
snowstorm that, out here in the maritimes, woulda been considered a
light dusting. <somesuch like two or three feet>. i was all geared up
to watch the chaos ensue, and what the fuck do i get, HAPPY PICTURES
of NICE CONSIDERATE PEOPLE helping eachother, directing traffic. FUCK!
the constant pictures of new yorkers casually strolling over brooklyn
bridge, like it was some sunday walk in the park. these last few
"disasters" have really bored me to hell. what happened to the good
old days of rioting crowds looting and smashing and acting all
monkeylike ?? what happened to the days you had a box of molotovs in
the corner of the garage just ANTICIPATING a major power failure? im
really disgusted with them pesty humans right about now. fuck, id even
ordered pizza and beer in to watch the fun.......bah humbuggery

st bubba

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Wbarwell <Wbarwell@munnged.mylinuxisp.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Plus these sissy-ass Yankees think that a mere 90 degrees is call for
> air conditioning.
>
> I, as a Texan living in Cleveland, have been working in a third story
> ATTIC OFFICE all summer and I have yet to turn the A.C. on. I do have a
> great big fan that sucks cool air from downstairs and pushes it OUT my
> tiny attic window, what cool air isn't diverted directly to me by a
> secondary fan at the stairhead. That, and I work in a cute French Maid
> outfit that is extremely airy. Or else I'm just sitting here in my
> drawers. Granted, they don't let you wear either in non-SubGenius
> Foundation offices. In fact they make you BUTTON YOUR SHIRT CLOSED AT
> THE NECK! Hell, I'd ENFORCE the drawers-only dress code if only I had
> anybody to enforce it on besides me. If you unworthies would order more
> sacred swag I could re-hire Nickie Deathchick, and then the dress code
> would MEAN something.

Working in a large metal building with so-so air conditioning, I long ago
took to wearing only silk shirts. A silk shirt is as close to nothing as
I am allowed to wear. Penny's just had their summer close out sale,
picked up a fistful of silk shirts at 70% off, about $10 each. I usually
wear heavy wool socks paradoxically. Concrete floors demand well cushioned
socks, and wool is surprisingly cool since it wicks moisture away from
the feet so I don't have to put up with uncomfortable sweaty socks.
And nothing makes you more miserable than sweaty, damp, cotton socks.
I still have to wear pants though.

--
Cheerful Charlie


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