Sorry for the lies folks.

From: "antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, May 20, 2004

As I was walking down town the other day I happened to see a frenchman
cursing in German at a passing car full of halfeaten souls. Upon seeing
this I realised that I had told one to many stories. The terror hit me what
if instead of feasting on souls I became some other madmans lunch. The
terror increased what if I fell into the pit I was digging, you know the pit
of lies? Perhpas nelso was right doing evil that good may come was wrong.
I staggered at the thought. As I contemplated the error of my ways the car
full of half eaten souls swerved to avoid one of the delusions I had
created. They failed to avoid it completley and as I saw them get pulled
into the net I had laid for them ontelogical terror set in. If I had done
such a wicked thing what should become of me. I had planted the seeds of
discord and falshood what kind of crop should I hope to harvest. The
possibility that I would have to pay for the dammage of the sanity of these
people filled me with fear. I was in the bottom of the pit I had dug for
their souls and the mouth was about to cave in on me. Shurly this would be
my ruin.

Fortunately my God had left a rope out of the pit that I had dug due to the
fact that I allowed myself to be humbled by him and after I repented. He
pulled me out. Oh but the shame for the delusions I had cast. The people
in the car were still in the pit I had dug. I still was not sure what kind
of reward I should expect for being the cause of such an evil. I had
immagined this wicked device and put it together. The delusion I had been
saved of by the skin of my theeth was still devouring these souls who did
not know about my God or the rope he had put into the pit I had dug. I was
free but still responsible for these souls being in my pit.

All I knew to do was to cut the delusion off at it source and hope I could
pull out the souls. But they did not want to believe in my God or use the
rope he let down. Woa is me for I have sinned. All I know how to do is
forget the things behind me and look to the things ahead. I had repented of
the sin. The dammage was done now all I could do was try desperately to
undue the dammage, and try not to sin further. I hope you can hear me I
have lied to you and immagined wicked things aginst you. I am sorry. My
mouth spits poison and cursing. Turn to the Living God who I beg to forgive
me for misleading you. He has led me out of that pit but I hate to think
that you are still in it. I want you out of there but I do not know what to
do if you will not turn to Jehovah and obey his command. He is your
salvation. It was not me who did this evil it was sin dwelling in me. I
serve christ with my mind but my members serve the law of sin and death.
The sin that dewls with me is excedingly wicked. Jesus is your only hope.
Repent, I urge you.

If the righteous are scarcely saved what should become of the sinner?

I applogise to anyone I have missled. It was my intention to do good but I
probably should have stuck to scriptures. I only pray to God that he will
have mercy on me a sinner.

David Keys

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com>

Oh yes and so you know:

Jehovah is merciful upon all who call upon his name.
Repent and be baptized calling on the name of Jehovah

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

"antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Oh yes and so you know:
>
> Jehovah is merciful upon all who call upon his name.
~~~~~~~~

He said it again!!!

Stone him!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: fenian <fenian@start.ca>

"antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com> wrote:
>Oh yes and so you know:
>
>Jehovah is merciful upon all who call upon his name.
>Repent and be baptized calling on the name of Jehovah

Come on over and play 'prisoner in the basement' with me. I
want to see what happens when you call on Judy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: fenian <fenian@start.ca>

"antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com> wrote:
>Oh yes and so you know:
>
>Jehovah is merciful upon all who call upon his name.
>Repent and be baptized calling on the name of Jehovah

What The Bible Says About Drunkenness

Here are a few Bible passages about getting drunk.

In the Old Testament, the Bible says:
Proverbs chapter 20 (CEV)

1It isn't smart to get drunk!
Drinking makes a fool of you
and leads to fights.

Hosea chapter 4 (TEV)

11 The Lord says, "Wine, both old and new, is robbing my people of
their senses!"

Proverbs chapter 23 (TEV)

19 Listen, my child, be wise and give serious thought to the way you
live. 20 Don't associate with people who drink too much wine or stuff
themselves with food. 21 Drunkards and gluttons will be reduced to
poverty. If all you do is eat and sleep, you will soon be wearing
rags.

29 Show me people who drink too much, who have to try out fancy
drinks, and I will show you people who are miserable and sorry for
themselves, always causing trouble and always complaining. Their eyes
are bloodshot, and they have bruises that could have been avoided.
31 Don't let wine tempt you, even though it is rich red, and it
sparkles in the cup, and it goes down smoothly. 32 The next morning
you will feel as if you had been bitten by a poisonous snake. 33 Weird
sights will appear before your eyes, and you will not be able to think
or speak clearly. 34 You will feel as if you were out on the ocean,
seasick, swinging high up in the rigging of a tossing ship. 35 "I must
have been hit," you will say; "I must have been beaten up, but I don't
remember it. Why can't I wake up? I need another drink."

A prophet of ancient Israel warned of a coming disaster. One of the
things he said was:
Isaiah chapter 28 (NLT)

1 Destruction is certain for the city of Samaria - the pride and joy
of the drunkards of Israel! 7 Israel is being led by drunks! The
priests and prophets reel and stagger from beer and wine. They make
stupid mistakes as they carry out their responsibilities.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are also Bible quotations in the New Testament warning
Christians not to get drunk. The whole frame of mind of a Christian
should be one in which we don't want to be controlled by some
substance that might make us do unchristian things - the types of
things described in the Old Testament, for instance. The ultimate
consequences of allowing this to happen could be very serious!

The Bible says, warning about the end of the world:
1 Thessalonians chapter 5 (NLT)

1 I really don't need to write to you about how and when all this will
happen, dear brothers and sisters. 2 For you know quite well that the
day of the Lord will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night. 3
When people are saying, "All is well; everything is peaceful and
secure," then disaster will fall upon them as suddenly as a woman's
birth pains begin when her child is about to be born. And there will
be no escape.

4 But you aren't in the dark about these things, dear brothers and
sisters, and you won't be surprised when the day of the Lord comes
like a thief. 5 For you are all children of the light and of the day;
we don't belong to darkness and night.

6 So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be
sober. 7 Night is the time for sleep and the time when people get
drunk. 8 But let us who live in the light think clearly, protected by
the body armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the
confidence of our salvation. 9 For God decided to save us through our
Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us. 10 He died for us
so that we can live with him forever, whether we are dead or alive at
the time of his return.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To find out more about the types of sin the Bible says will exclude
people from going to heaven and about Christ's return, as well as
about God's mercy for people who would like to change their ways,
visit: Avoiding Sin And Loving One Another; God's Mercy; And The
Return Of Jesus Christ.

Or if you would like to fill yourself in on a short summary of the
main Christian beliefs, visit: What Do Christians Believe?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Bible doesn't say that people shouldn't drink; it only says that
people shouldn't get drunk.

In the Book of Proverbs, the Bible says:
Proverbs chapter 31 (TEV)

1 These are the solemn words which King Lemuel's mother said to him:
2 "You are my own dear son, the answer to my prayers. What shall I
tell you?
4 Listen, Lemuel. Kings should not drink wine or have a craving for
alcohol. 5 When they drink, they forget the laws and ignore the rights
of people in need.
6 Alcohol is for people who are dying, for those who are in misery. 7
Let them drink and forget their poverty and unhappiness.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the New Testament, the Bible advises Christians:
Ephesians chapter 5 (NLT)

18 Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life.
Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you.

The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is a part of God who will be given
to true Christians and will live in them to make them better people.

One of the writers of the letters that were put in the Bible, Paul,
instructed Christians:
Galatians chapter 5 (NLT)

16 I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit.
Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The old
sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just opposite from what the
Holy Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite
from what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly
fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this
conflict. ....

19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will
produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts,
eagerness for lustful pleasure, 20 idolatry, participation in demonic
activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger,
selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except
those in your own little group, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties,
and other kinds of sin.

Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort
of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

22 But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this
kind of fruit in us:

love,
joy,
peace,
patience,
kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness,
23 gentleness,
and self-control....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

fenian wrote:
> What The Bible Says About Drunkenness
>
> Here are a few Bible passages about getting drunk.
[snip]

*snicker*
Nice choice of translations. Certain OTHERS might like to take note.

--
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President,
or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is
not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable
to the American public." Theodore Roosevelt, twenty-sixth
President of the United States

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

oh shut the fuck up.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
The Jews didn't kill Jesus.
The Romans didn't kill Jesus.
The POLICE killed Jesus.
-Saint Palmer Vreedeez

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

antibob wrote:
> I applogise to anyone I have missled. It was my intention to do good but I
> probably should have stuck to scriptures.

On the contrary, your fictions were the only things you posted that were
even a little bit interesting. Nobody reads bible versed posted to
usenet. NOBODY. If we wanted to read the fucking bible we wouldn't be
looking at this newsgroup.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> On the contrary, your fictions were the only things you posted that were
> even a little bit interesting. Nobody reads bible versed posted to
> usenet. NOBODY. If we wanted to read the fucking bible we wouldn't be
> looking at this newsgroup.

I tried to look up a verse on www.crossroads.com the other night, but
it kept transferring me to www.subgenius.com/ He's right to be scared.
Our clan is EVIL, SO EVILLLLLLLL. You buncha dirty fuckers, I hate you
for dragging me down like this. Oh Lord, please forgive me for the
hate in my heart and for saying 'fuck' so much, I try to be a good
man, but that cult stuff won't get out of my head, no matter how many
times a day I squeeze it in that special vise that nice salesman
brought. Guess I'm just plain bound for the Pit.

At least Mr. Nenslo pulled the scales from my eyes, God bless him, he
a good man, even though he always beat the crap out of me with his
quirt when I was his manservant in Scotland in our previous lives.
Wait a minute, I'm gonna kick his damned ASS!!! NENSLOOO!!! I'M
A'GONNA KILL YOOOUUUU!!!!!

The previous announcement came to you through the courtesy and
funding of the National Assemblies of God, the Satanic Tabernacle in
Wickenburg, Arizona, your local policemen's benevolent association and
viewers like you, ya butthole.

HellPope Huey,
First Church of the SubGenius, Deformed
"God knows our blasphemy is funny"

"We're Episcopalian now;
its just good business."
- "King of the Hill"

"No one at the MTV Awards ever thanks Vishnu."
- Robin Williams

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote in message news:<40AD959D.2B614457@yahoox.com>...
> On the contrary, your fictions were the only things you posted that were
> even a little bit interesting. Nobody reads bible versed posted to
> usenet. NOBODY. If we wanted to read the fucking bible we wouldn't be
> looking at this newsgroup.

HellPope Huey,
First Church of the SubGenius, Deformed
"God knows our blasphemy is funny"

"We're Episcopalian now;
its just good business."
- "King of the Hill"

"No one at the MTV Awards ever thanks Vishnu."
- Robin Williams

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

nenslo wrote:
> Nobody reads bible versed posted to usenet.
> NOBODY.

That's because they never post the *good* verses,
from the unexpurgated bible, like:

Sodomites 13:14
"And then he reacheth around, catching the fair one
unawares, sitting at her vanity, applying the makeup
of the harlot, and grabeth a hearty handful of her
enormous breasts. She gaspeth, but the IN THE NAME
OF THE LORD, he covers her mouth with his and giveth
her a kiss that is deepeth and tongueth.
And as she begs him to stop, but not meaning it, and
he bendeth her over her vanity and plungeth his mighty
Hebrew salami between her tender loins. And she sayeth
Argl-bargl a buncheth and make moan like an injured goat.
And it was pleasing to THE LORD to watch his children who
were NOT faggots.

--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"

--Kino Beman, brand name

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

Apparently you missed my post addressed to you the other day, so here it
is again where you can't miss it:

Attn: Christian Guy (Whatever you're calling yourself today):

I'm very angry with the way you've been blaspheming God all over the
place in here. What did God ever do to you that you would try to make
God look so stupid, vicious, and petty? Do you honestly think that WE,
insignificant earth creatures that we are, could have a sense of humor
and GOD CANNOT? How dare you insult God in that fashion! If you want
PROOF that God has a sense of humor just look up the news clippings we
post in here every day. Ninety-year-old man gets KICKED TO DEATH by an
OSTRICH. What more proof do you need????

God loves us and wants us to be happy, no matter what it says in a
four-thousand-year-old book written by desert tribesmen and translated
by ignorant medieval clerks. You don't use a BOOK to think about your
GOD!! YOU'RE SOAKING IN IT!!!

There's only one immortal character in the entire Bible that would want
the people of Earth to fear and resent God, and that's SATAN! That's
who you're REALLY serving when you post this hateful, insulting
nonsense!! Turn away from Satan, man, before it's TOO LATE!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com>

I did not miss it the first time I simply had no comment. I wasn't sure if
you were addressing me or just any one who would call themselves a Christian
guy. Now that you have made it clear that you are speaking to me directly,
I suppose I can reply to your post. I am not shure exactly where I posted
anything that you consider Blasphemy. I am not sure where I have posted
anything that makes God look stupid vicious and petty. I do not recall even
implying that God did not have a sense of humor either. I do not find a
story about a 90 year old man getting kicked to death by an ostrich
particularly funny BTW, so I think that is a lousy proof that God has a
sense of humor. I use a book to know God better, though I realize that we
can know a lot about God through creation. I agree that Satan would want us
to resent God but I also believe that God wants us to fear him. As the
proverb says "The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the lord." But from
your post I gather that you do not care about the Bible or what is in it.

I had a hard time believing that your post was to me because I did not see
how it applied to my except that I happen to be a "Christian guy" Did you
even read my posts or are you just trying to start an argument with me? I
do not appreciate you accusing me of insulting and blaspheming God. I do
not think your accusations have any basis in reality either. If you are
just trying to get into a flame war then perhaps I was wise in ignoring your
first post but since you came and directed your uninformed and ignorant post
towards me I will respond. I have not insulted God and Your accusations are
false and slanderous. I do not know what you are trying to accomplish
except possibly to inflame my wrath. I will try to suppress my wrath
because I believe you speak out of ignorance and vainglory. Is it true you
are of the church of scientology? Is this an example of the mentality of
Scientologists? I will try not to form a prejudicial view of all
scientologists based on this petty attack on my character and the Scriptures
that I know are the word of God.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

antibob wrote:
> I did not miss it the first time I simply had no comment. I wasn't
> sure if you were addressing me or just any one who would call
> themselves a Christian guy.

I'm sorry, I thought you were able to see the other posts on this
newsgroup, and thus realize that you are in fact the only guy flaunting
his self-proclaimed Christianity shamelessly in public, in direct
contradiction to Jesus's teachings, which advise us to pray in secret
and not seek acclaim from others for our supposed righteousness.

>I am not shure exactly where I posted anything that you consider
> Blasphemy. I am not sure where I have posted anything that makes God
> look stupid vicious and petty. I do not recall even implying that
> God did not have a sense of humor either.

The Church of the SubGenius is a group dedicated to promoting humor,
personal liberty, and the abundant use of the brains God gave us. All
of those are good things that God would want us to do. So first of all
you insult God by implying that God is too mean and too humorless to
enjoy our antics. Then you further blaspheme by threatening the people
on this newsgroup with an eternity in Hell. God alone is fit to judge
men, as it says MANY MANY times in the Bible. Yet despite this clear
and amply repeated commandment, you have judged us, and you have decided
we ought to be in Hell. You see fit to tell us what God thinks of us.
You! A mere man! I don't think blasphemy gets more blatant than that.

> I do not find a story
> about a 90 year old man getting kicked to death by an ostrich
> particularly funny BTW, so I think that is a lousy proof that God has
> a sense of humor.

Actually, your not finding it funny proves that you have a lousy sense
of humor. It's called "irony" and it's one of those things that isn't
funny if you explain it to someone. I hear that long abuse of drugs can
rob people of the ability to detect and appreciate irony, but I guess
some people are simply born without the ability.

> I use a book to know God better

Perhaps you should try listening to your conscience and using your
brain. Can you believe that God wants you to ignore the fact that the
Bible was written a long time ago and inevitably contains so many errors
that it can only serve as the vaguest of guideposts to the true nature
of God?? Would God want you to deliberately stupefy yourself? How
could doing that possibly honor God in any way?

But from your post I gather that you do not care
> about the Bible or what is in it.

I have studied the Bible very, very thoroughly, as I have studied the
books of many other religions. I actually wanted to know, is there a
God? If so, what is God like? And so I researched ALL the sources of
information I could find on the topic, not just one book, and I listened
to the anecdotal evidence, and I looked within myself, and I came to
certain conclusions that I'd be happy to discuss with you if you care to
hear about them.

So yes, I consider the Bible to be a very important ancient book with a
lot of wise words in it, mixed in with a lot of political debate,
geneology, farming instructions, poetry, hygiene advice, and the history
of a particular desert tribe. I don't believe the story some people say
that God made the King James Bible himself through directly accessing
the minds of the translators, asnd the reason I don't believe that is
because there are many blatant translation errors, and God would not
have screwed up like that.

It's a very old, very useful book, but it's just a book made by men, and
I think in your current state of mind it's not doing you any good at
all. You're reading all the wrong parts, it seems! Did you even get to
the part about not judging others? Or about not proclaiming your
righteousness before men? Or about how "by their fruit you will know
them"? Do you even know how many people have turned away from suicide
and live happier lives because the Church of the SubGenius gave them a
community where they could express themselves and enjoy a good,
honest-to-God BELLY LAUGH once in a while? Well do you?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:
> I'm sorry, I thought you were able to see the other posts on this
> newsgroup, and thus realize that you are in fact the only guy flaunting
> his self-proclaimed Christianity shamelessly in public, in direct
> contradiction to Jesus's teachings, which advise us to pray in secret
> and not seek acclaim from others for our supposed righteousness.

I have not been praying publicly and I seek no acclaim for any righteousness
that I have or might have. I say I am a Christian in accordance with
christs teachings He said he who confesses me before men I will confess
before my father in heaven. He who denies me before men I will deny before
my father which is in heaven. Also I like paul am not ashaimed of the
gospel of Christ for it is the power of God unto salvation unto all who
believe first to the Jew then to the Greek. Also I am following Jesus
command to go out into the world and preach the Gospel. The bible spealks
against people making long prayers in the streets thinking they will be
heard for their much talking. I am not praying here you do not here me
praying I am not talking to God I am talking to you and the others who read
this post it is not a prayer. I do not expect your praise or anywone elses
praise for what I am doing here except Gods praise

> The Church of the SubGenius is a group dedicated to promoting humor,
> personal liberty, and the abundant use of the brains God gave us. All
> of those are good things that God would want us to do.

These things are all good unless that liberty causes you to sin which is an
act that is abhorrent to God. I have not and do not Judge anyone here for
thier sins. I do say that you need to repent of your sins and obey God, The
bible says the same thing, God wants it.

So first of all
> you insult God by implying that God is too mean and too humorless to
> enjoy our antics.

I only believe that God hates the sins, I know God cannot tolerate sin.

Then you further blaspheme by threatening the people
> on this newsgroup with an eternity in Hell.

I do not recall mentioning that anyone here faces an eternity in Hell but it
is true that people do not enter the kingdom of heaven who do not obey Gods
commands and reject Jesus Christ. If you fit in this group you are in
danger of an eternity in Hell. I am not threatening you I am telling you of
an existing threat. Do you hate me for telling you the truth?

God alone is fit to judge
> men, as it says MANY MANY times in the Bible. Yet despite this clear
> and amply repeated commandment, you have judged us, and you have decided
> we ought to be in Hell. You see fit to tell us what God thinks of us.
> You! A mere man! I don't think blasphemy gets more blatant than that.

I noever said you ought to be in Hell I have not Judged you I agree that God
will be the Judge along with the words Christ spoke. The words Christ spoke
are in the bible and are in accordance with what I have spoken in this post.
These words will judge you not me. I don't presume to be in a position to
judge you. I do feel in a position to warn you of the danger to come as I
have been commanded by God. This is not a judgment that I have made against
you or anyone else in this group.
>
> Actually, your not finding it funny proves that you have a lousy sense
> of humor. It's called "irony" and it's one of those things that isn't
> funny if you explain it to someone. I hear that long abuse of drugs can
> rob people of the ability to detect and appreciate irony, but I guess
> some people are simply born without the ability.
>

Well I do not see Irony in this story. I think irony would be more apparent
if say the man was an ostrich hunter or if he was wearing ostrich skinn
boots or something like that. I happen to have an excellent sense of humor
as far as I am concerned but still I find that unfortunate situation sad.
It is strange that it was such a silly animal that killed the man but hardly
ironic. But to give you the benifit of the doubt I did abuse drugs for a
period of about ten years.

> Perhaps you should try listening to your conscience and using your
> brain. Can you believe that God wants you to ignore the fact that the
> Bible was written a long time ago and inevitably contains so many errors
> that it can only serve as the vaguest of guideposts to the true nature
> of God?? Would God want you to deliberately stupefy yourself? How
> could doing that possibly honor God in any way?
>
>
Your conscience is an insufficient tool in matters of salvation and
obedience to God which is why we have teh bible as a guide to help us know
how to serve God. I find that reading the bible is enlightening not
stupefying. God speaks highly of scriptures and commends those who study
them and commands us to study them. I honor God by obeying his commandments
like this one.

> But from your post I gather that you do not care
>
> I have studied the Bible very, very thoroughly, as I have studied the
> books of many other religions. I actually wanted to know, is there a
> God? If so, what is God like? And so I researched ALL the sources of
> information I could find on the topic, not just one book, and I listened
> to the anecdotal evidence, and I looked within myself, and I came to
> certain conclusions that I'd be happy to discuss with you if you care to
> hear about them.

Let me think about this one.

> So yes, I consider the Bible to be a very important ancient book with a
> lot of wise words in it, mixed in with a lot of political debate,
> geneology, farming instructions, poetry, hygiene advice, and the history
> of a particular desert tribe. I don't believe the story some people say
> that God made the King James Bible himself through directly accessing
> the minds of the translators, asnd the reason I don't believe that is
> because there are many blatant translation errors, and God would not
> have screwed up like that.
>
I believe that God is capable of preserving his message through time. I
think the message in the bible is the message God wanted me to get. I think
God is capable of preserving his word.

> It's a very old, very useful book, but it's just a book made by men, and
> I think in your current state of mind it's not doing you any good at
> all. You're reading all the wrong parts, it seems! Did you even get to
> the part about not judging others?

Who have I judged? Can you get a quote of mine where I have judged others?
I really do not think I have done this thing.

Or about not proclaiming your
> righteousness before men?
Once again where have I done this? I have claimed that I was a servant of
Jehovah but that is a statement that points to who my God and master is, it
is all about him not me. Kind of like saying I work such and such a company
and as i haved stated earlier in the post we are commanded to acknowledge
christ before men.

Or about how "by their fruit you will know
> them"?
Do you even know how many people have turned away from suicide
> and live happier lives because the Church of the SubGenius gave them a
> community where they could express themselves and enjoy a good,
> honest-to-God BELLY LAUGH once in a while? Well do you?

No I do not know this, but tell me did you know that The third reich turned
the economy of Germany around and made a lot of people rich, who otherwise
would have lived in poverty perhaps even poverty that could have turned some
to suicide such as in our great depression where people jumped out of
buildings. You know that in pre world war two Germany you couldn't buy a
loaf of bread with a wheel barrow full of the country' s currency. Or how
about how Hitler brought the spirit of Nationalism back to Germany he really
brought the people together. What do you say is this Lots of good fruit?
Perhaps we should find another Nazi Party to bring us out of the slump we
are in? I am sure we could find a Neo Nazi party willing to take the throne
of America, perhaps even one who has turned many outcast youth considering
suicide away form their deathwish by offering them a place where they could
be accepted. Hey maby all we need is a good faschist dictator to turn our
country around. I am sure when people see all the good fruits of nazism
they will accept a dictator into power.

BTW do you know how many kids sank into deep depression because they quit
their jobs for Bob and got their hopes up for X-day when they would leave
this tiresom world to get on the planet x bound pleasure ships, only to find
themselves severly disapointed come July 5 1998. And how about the ones who
go through this depression every July 5th when once again the x ships do not
show up. "But Dave dont you see it this church of the subgenious thing is
too real sounding to be a joke they just say it is a joke because all of the
pinks cant handle the truth real subgenious's know it is not a joke, they
can read between the lines where bob speaks to them, it is all a part of the
alien technology that is available to true subgeniouses you probably just
don't understand because you are a part of some conspiracy of normals or
worse yet a pink.

Ha ha that is real funny an full of irony isn't it.

My one question is do you see the irony in this or have you like me spent to
many years abusing drugs?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: djcameron60616@yahoo.com (stg-delfuego)

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:
> Apparently you missed my post addressed to you the other day, so here it
> is again where you can't miss it:
>
> Attn: Christian Guy (Whatever you're calling yourself today):
>
> I'm very angry with the way you've been blaspheming God all over the
> place in here. What did God ever do to you that you would try to make
> God look so stupid, vicious, and petty? Do you honestly think that WE,
> insignificant earth creatures that we are, could have a sense of humor
> and GOD CANNOT? How dare you insult God in that fashion! If you want
> PROOF that God has a sense of humor just look up the news clippings we
> post in here every day. Ninety-year-old man gets KICKED TO DEATH by an
> OSTRICH. What more proof do you need????
>
> God loves us and wants us to be happy, no matter what it says in a
> four-thousand-year-old book written by desert tribesmen and translated
> by ignorant medieval clerks. You don't use a BOOK to think about your
> GOD!! YOU'RE SOAKING IN IT!!!
>
> There's only one immortal character in the entire Bible that would want
> the people of Earth to fear and resent God, and that's SATAN! That's
> who you're REALLY serving when you post this hateful, insulting
> nonsense!! Turn away from Satan, man, before it's TOO LATE!!

Perhaps you were confusing this other person with me, or maybe not.
If this was in reference to my posting "Question without attempts at
humor" I was trying to point out what we have seen before that and sin
since that. More crap about serpentine visions of hell, scat crap,
and other junk that does not need to be in the mind of a person. Now,
even though the good book says to not consort with gluttons or be a
glutton, I can appreciate slacking off to a degree. To not be overly
enthusiastic about wiping down a counter you've avoided for thirty
minutes. I can also appreciate being "Monk"ish as well as monks.
Monks are a great group of people .. they are devoted to one being and
one being only. I being "Monk"ish have found photos on the wall that
were crooked and straightened them .. all of them in a shop. My point
is, there is a continental divide between humor and what I see on here
passed off as humor. If I am a stuffed shirt, then at least I appear
to be clean around the collar.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

djcameron60616@yahoo.com (stg-delfuego) wrote:
>My point
>is, there is a continental divide between humor and what I see on here
>passed off as humor.

Then FUCK OFF and go somewhere where they're hungering for monks to
come and straighten their pictures.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's
warm for the rest of his life"
- Solid Jackson

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: djcameron60616@yahoo.com (stg-delfuego)

Well, that might be close to impossible since the world gets as gay as
this group every minute.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

I just will never get people who have this deep need to go save people
from whatever it is in themselves which is different from the person
doing the saving.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
-- Steven Wright

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

djcameron60616@yahoo.com (stg-delfuego) wrote:
> Well, that might be close to impossible since the world gets as gay as
> this group every minute.

Wow, so that's it, we're gay. I didn't know that's what it meant now.
I guess all that newfangled flexisexual hoo-fraw threw me for a
minute. You laid hands on my brain and healed me of my sinful
misconceptions. If you could only stop doing those things with the
melons, you'd be almost perfect. God save you, brother.

HellPope Huey,
First Church of the SubGenius, Deformed
Science can SAVE you... if you can afford the freight

My supply of superstars has dwindled to an
occasional hand job from Imogene Coca.
~ Rev. Gary G'Broagfran

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as
you get older?
A: My sense of decency.
~ Charlie Weaver on "Hollywood Squares"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: brthrn@dangermedia.org (MRvDC)

I'm so grateful. I want to blow him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

stg-delfuego wrote:
> Perhaps you were confusing this other person with me, or maybe not.
> If this was in reference to my posting "Question without attempts at
[snip]

It wasn't. Go be self-righteous and self-centered somewhere else.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: brthrn@dangermedia.org (MRvDC)

djcameron60616@yahoo.com (stg-delfuego) wrote in message news:<6b28e43f.0405232242.7bde14c4@posting.google.com>...
> Perhaps you were confusing this other person with me, or maybe not.
> If this was in reference to my posting "Question without attempts at
> humor" I was trying to point out what we have seen before that and sin
> since that. More crap about serpentine visions of hell, scat crap,
> and other junk that does not need to be in the mind of a person. Now,
> even though the good book says to not consort with gluttons or be a
> glutton, I can appreciate slacking off to a degree. To not be overly
> enthusiastic about wiping down a counter you've avoided for thirty
> minutes. I can also appreciate being "Monk"ish as well as monks.
> Monks are a great group of people .. they are devoted to one being and
> one being only. I being "Monk"ish have found photos on the wall that
> were crooked and straightened them .. all of them in a shop. My point
> is, there is a continental divide between humor and what I see on here
> passed off as humor. If I am a stuffed shirt, then at least I appear
> to be clean around the collar.

No, you're not. You're a liar. And a phony. And something of a creep,
too. Your collar needs a good cleaning. A scrubbing and a dubbing.

heh. Like you're a 'monk' by choice. HAH!

ALL HELL.
CAN'T STOP US NOW.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: djcameron60616@yahoo.com (stg-delfuego)

brthrn@dangermedia.org (MRvDC) wrote in message news:<7e3ec2d7.0405240821.f483492@posting.google.com>...
> No, you're not.

Not what?

> You're a liar.

Example?

> And a phony.

Example?

>And something of a creep, too.

Example?

>Your collar needs a good cleaning. A scrubbing and a dubbing.
> heh. Like you're a 'monk' by choice. HAH!

Like you would know. HAW!

So there.
>
> ALL HELL.

Nope, been there twice and it blows monkey balls.

> CAN'T STOP US NOW.

What if I throw oil in front of your rapidly approaching tricyles?

Like it would matter, at some point you'll mess yourself up regardless.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

stg-delfuego wrote:
>
> Perhaps you were confusing this other person with me, or maybe not.
> If this was in reference to my posting "Question without attempts at
> humor" I was trying to point out what we have seen before that and sin
> since that.

I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about at all. I'll be sure
to have my kookdar fine tuned as obviously it should not have missed
your important post.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

antibob wrote:
> "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:
>> antibob wrote:
>>> I do not find a story
>>> about a 90 year old man getting kicked to death by an ostrich
>>> particularly funny BTW, so I think that is a lousy proof that God
>>> has a sense of humor.
>>
>> Actually, your not finding it funny proves that you have a lousy
>> sense of humor. It's called "irony" and it's one of those things
>> that isn't funny if you explain it to someone. I hear that long
>> abuse of drugs can rob people of the ability to detect and
>> appreciate irony, but I guess some people are simply born without
>> the ability.
>
> Well I do not see Irony in this story. I think irony would be more
> apparent if say the man was an ostrich hunter or if he was wearing
> ostrich skinn boots or something like that. I happen to have an
> excellent sense of humor as far as I am concerned but still I find
> that unfortunate situation sad.

SIG!!

"I happen to have an excellent sense of humor as far as I am concerned"

- antibob

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

antibob <antibob97@yahoo.com> wrote:
> BTW do you know how many kids sank into deep depression because they quit
> their jobs for Bob and got their hopes up for X-day when they would leave
> this tiresom world to get on the planet x bound pleasure ships, only to find
> themselves severly disapointed come July 5 1998.

No, we don't know how many. Do you? If so, please provide details.

And how about the ones who
> go through this depression every July 5th when once again the x ships do not
> show up.

It's so good to know that I haven't been alone in that.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

my gut instinct would be, at least one, including him.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
" A little sincerity is a dangerous thing
and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." - Oscar Wilde

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> antibob <antibob97@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > BTW do you know how many kids sank into deep depression because they
quit
> > their jobs for Bob and got their hopes up for X-day when they would
leave
> > this tiresom world to get on the planet x bound pleasure ships, only to
find
> > themselves severly disapointed come July 5 1998.
>
> No, we don't know how many. Do you? If so, please provide details.
>
I have no idea either, I was just getting all cought up in the excitement of
the rant. I can only speak for myself personally, I waited with a kind of
strange anticipation for the first X-day kind of half not believing and half
wondering if their might really be ships comming. The big day came and
went. I didn't get picked up by any ships but I hadn't sent in my $30
either. I really wondered if perhaps the ships did come and nobody noticed
so I went to the Subgenious website which said something consoling about
maby it would be some othertime or something and possible misinterpretation.
I Thought to myself HA! I knew those ships wouldn't come and wondered how
many subgenious kids were disapointed then. But at the same time I had to
wonder about the posibility that those ships would come later.

I eventually came up with my own theory as to what happened to the Xist
ships. I decided that while approaching our planet the Xist ships were
intercepted by a group of space pirates who lured them to thier hideout in
the astroide belt with promises of space hookers. When the x ist ships
finally got to the hide out they were shocked to find out that there were no
space hookers and were instead forced to watch the very long versoion of
Galactic history on video which is so long that they are still watching it.
It is not an interesting video but it has a hypnotic effect on the viewers
which caused the x- ists to fall into a trance and forget all about comming
to Earth to pick up the subgenious faithfull. Meanwhile the space pirates
plan their eventual invasion and enslavement of the human race.

Of cource that is all fiction and there is no such thing as space aliens.
Get over it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

antibob wrote:
> I waited with a kind of
> strange anticipation for the first X-day kind of half not believing and half
> wondering if their might really be ships comming. The big day came and
> went. I didn't get picked up by any ships but I hadn't sent in my $30
> either. I really wondered if perhaps the ships did come and nobody noticed
> so I went to the Subgenious website which said something consoling about
> maby it would be some othertime or something and possible misinterpretation.
> I Thought to myself HA! I knew those ships wouldn't come and wondered how
> many subgenious kids were disapointed then. But at the same time I had to
> wonder about the posibility that those ships would come later.

All that stuff was just MADE UP, you idiot.
Just like every other religion. That's THE WHOLE POINT.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> antibob wrote:
> > I waited with a kind of
> > strange anticipation for the first X-day kind of half not believing and half
> > wondering if their might really be ships comming. The big day came and
> > went. I didn't get picked up by any ships but I hadn't sent in my $30
> > either. I really wondered if perhaps the ships did come and nobody noticed
> > so I went to the Subgenious website which said something consoling about
> > maby it would be some othertime or something and possible misinterpretation.
> > I Thought to myself HA! I knew those ships wouldn't come and wondered how
> > many subgenious kids were disapointed then. But at the same time I had to
> > wonder about the posibility that those ships would come later.
> >
> All that stuff was just MADE UP, you idiot.
> Just like every other religion. That's THE WHOLE POINT.

"Bob," in inadvertently helping the rest of us to dissect belief in
general, and our own brains, sometimes is SO obviously telling KOOKS
what they MOST WANT TO BELIEVE that only kooks COULD believe it.

The Promise of X-Day, however, is not one of those. No way. Even though
you'd THINK it would be the most GLARINGLY OBVIOUS one, it's ironically
the ONE STATEMENT he's MOST serious about.

That's what I read on the Internet, anyway.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com>

I just figured those lies were so delicious they had to have some kind of
substance behind them. Perhaps the faithfull subgenious were really taken
up in the ships and all that is left on this planet are x ist aliens
mascarading as subgenious kids still waiting for the ships to come. How
foolish of me not to notice. They seem so real you would hardly guess that
they are aliens. I don't believe it but knowing how humans are prone to
believing lies there has to be some kook out there who will believe it. All
a lie has to do to be believed on some level is appeal to someones hopes or
fears.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

"antibob" <antibob97@yahoo.com> wrote:
>knowing how humans are prone to
>believing lies there has to be some kook out there who will believe it.

I started to say something then didn't.

> All
>a lie has to do to be believed on some level is appeal to someones hopes or
>fears.

Or, just to a kook's kookdom.

Like the regular on this group who believes that the cast of All My
Children are passing him secret numerological messages through the
show. It can be said that this may appeal in some way to his hopes or
fears, but I think it is more to the point to just say he is a loon
and leave it at that.

I think that covers all the bases that really need to be covered.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
I made macaroni!
- Meryl Burbank

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)

>Like the regular on this group who believes that the cast of All My
>Children are passing him secret numerological messages through the
>show. It can be said that this may appeal in some way to his hopes or
>fears, but I think it is more to the point to just say he is a loon
>and leave it at that.
>
>I think that covers all the bases that really need to be covered.

Not to mention left field.

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Original file name: Sorry for the lies folks.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05