My Vacation: I FOUND NOAH'S ARK!

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Date: Fri, Sep 26, 2003

Outside of Roseburg Oregon I had to stop to take pictures of a big
prefab warehouse surrounded by nutty standup plywood animals, and was
drawn inside by its cheesiness. I was met by a goofy looking cockeyed
little guy in "bible" clothes; a striped robe, cloth hat and a nametag
that read SHEM. Who offered me a tour or some food at their nearby
snackbar. After seeing the half-retarded appearance of it all I sprang
for the whole tour, which consisted of sitting in various rows of
chairs listening to a tedious prerecorded narration looking at crappy
halfassed replicas of some retard's idea of what bible stuff looked
like. Strangely, the focus was primarily on the desert tabernacle of
Moses in lifesize reproduction. According to the narration every
aspect of it actually symbolized, prefigured, or referred directly, to
JESUS!!! You can see some tiny pictures of some of it at their inept website:
http://www.ancientarks.com/index.html
except where they have an actual person dressed as a high priest I saw
mannequins in wigs, and beards which looked like they were made from
wigs. There was no reference at all to the many nuts who still go to
Mount Ararat risking their lives, being robbed by bandits and, in one
book I have, actually being struck by lightning [HOW COULD THEY MISS
THAT MESSAGE?] looking for Noah's Ark. It was all temples and stuff
instead of Noah's Ark stuff except for lots of toys and stuffed
animals, and mannequins carrying and surrounded by toy animals and
crap like that. This was one of the high low points of my trip, being
the type of tedious misery I actually kind of like.

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From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

We have a X-tain church off US13 near Seaford, DE that has a Noah's Ark Facade
with little animal cut outs sticking their heads ober the side.

I always wonder how many Drunk Redneck Hunters have taken a pot shot that them!

"Oh my god! That Giraffe! It heading right for us!"

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

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From: "Terminator of pinks" <exeobnoe@yahoo.com>

"nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
> I was met by a goofy looking cockeyed
> little guy in "bible" clothes; a striped robe, cloth hat and a nametag
> that read SHEM. Who offered me a tour or some food at their nearby
> snackbar.

Glub dammit, is that where
Shem(p) Howard has been hiding
out all of this time??

I guess he's doing good in retirement $$$ too.
I see they're getting $139.95 for a genuine
"Medium Right Shofar" and an *amazing*
$59.95 for a genuine Torah !

> After seeing the half-retarded appearance of it all I sprang
> for the whole tour, which consisted of sitting in various rows of
> chairs listening to a tedious prerecorded narration looking at crappy
> halfassed replicas of some retard's idea of what bible stuff looked
> like. Strangely, the focus was primarily on the desert tabernacle of
> Moses in lifesize reproduction. According to the narration every
> aspect of it actually symbolized, prefigured, or referred directly, to
> JESUS!!!

Oy Vey - and I'm reading this on Rosh Hashanah !!
Now I gotta go get another bath.

> You can see some tiny pictures of some of it at their inept website:
> http://www.ancientarks.com/index.html
> except where they have an actual person dressed as a high priest I saw
> mannequins in wigs, and beards which looked like they were made from
> wigs. There was no reference at all to the many nuts who still go to
> Mount Ararat risking their lives, being robbed by bandits and, in one
> book I have, actually being struck by lightning [HOW COULD THEY MISS
> THAT MESSAGE?] looking for Noah's Ark. It was all temples and stuff
> instead of Noah's Ark stuff except for lots of toys and stuffed
> animals, and mannequins carrying and surrounded by toy animals and
> crap like that. This was one of the high low points of my trip, being
> the type of tedious misery I actually kind of like.

Almost as much fun as October when the xian's
set up their anti-pagan anti-Haloween displays
and invite the general pubic into church. A great
time to enjoy recreational xianiaty!!

"What happens to bad girls who dance, take drugs, give themselves
up to strangers and have abortions? Some Texas fundamentalists
would like to take you on an infernal tour that answers that
question in the fun and voyeuristic documentary: 'Hell House'. "

Link: http://www.offoffoff.com/film/2002/hellhouse.php3

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Terminator of pinks wrote:
> I guess he's doing good in retirement $$$ too.
> I see they're getting $139.95 for a genuine
> "Medium Right Shofar" and an *amazing*
> $59.95 for a genuine Torah !

Those were some kick ass shofars too. Almost 3 feet long some of
them. I'd only ever seen little dinky squeaky shofars before.

> Link: http://www.offoffoff.com/film/2002/hellhouse.php3

Strangely, at a bookstore in nearby Roseburg Oregon I saw a poster for
just such a Halloween Hellhouse. It didn't seem like a particularly
christian bookstore, but I found the flying saucer and new age and
occult books all bundled into Philosophy right along with Plato, Kant
and Schopenhauer. Damn queer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Proud Baby Mudfoot" <me@privacy.net>

"nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote
> Those were some kick ass shofars too. Almost 3 feet long some of
> them. I'd only ever seen little dinky squeaky shofars before

Saw (and heard) a WHOLE BUNCH of 'em this mornin. What a racket.

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Original file name: My Vacation- I FOUND#192F27.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05