Hand Job Machine Thoughts

From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Date: Thu, Oct 2, 2003

I'm inclined to think the design of that Jap wanking machine is pretty
decent, what with the all important pink jelly sleeve.

The only thing that could make it more real is to put in an audio chip that
says things like ARENT YOU GONNA COME YET, MY HAND IS GETTING TIRED and WHAT
OTHER MACHINE WOULD DO *THIS* FOR YOU and I *AM* GOING FASTER.

That would make it a positively life like experience.

[*]
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From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Especially if the voice chip sounded like Stephen Hawking talking dirty.

"Mah-y mah-y, aren't vyoo a knotty boy. Vyoo hev thuh bviggest pfenis
in thuh yoo-nee-verse. It ivs getting harder and harder, ivsn't it.
Oh boy, I kent vwait until vyoo com."

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

you are really weird.

Restores my faith in human nature.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
- William Blake

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From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Poor Stephen. Reduced to a jerk-off announcement box.
Now that's what I call a degenerative disease.

His memory deserves a better fate. How about a
Stephen Hawking "action" figure for all the whiz
kids out there who idolize him. It really wouldn't
need to do much, so it'd be cheap to produce. In
fact, you could make a prototype by heating and
twisting a Don Knotts action figure and mounting
it in a Barbie-Goes-Shopping shopping cart. Add
a couple of blinking lights and the guts from a
Speak-n-Spell, and Bob's yer uncle.

"Math is HARD!"

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From: "curlywires" <4ccwwws33@yahoo.com>

See: http://www.fuckingmachines.com/

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Original file name: Hand Job Machine Thoughts.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05