Another Dead Celebrity Triptych

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Thu, Mar 11, 2004

Rev. Nickie <nickie@subgenius.com> wrote:
> On Thu, 11 Mar 2004 03:40:42 GMT, "Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde"
> <rabbs@subgenius.com> wrote:
> >> Dude, it's pathetic. No matter how fucking depressed you are, you
> >> DON'T call your 6-year-old, tell him you'll be home soon, and then
> >> jump off a bridge. Fuck him.
> >> -Rev. Nickie
> >>
> >I TOTALLY agree with this post. Way to start another generation of
> >depression, fucker.
>
> Especially in light of the fact that he was so damn depressed because
> HIS MOM had killed herself. I saw him speak with Timothy Leary back in
> the day and I liked him. But when I read he had two young children, he
> will forever remain in my list of assholes.

But it's kind of pointless to be mad at a guy who just killed himself.
I mean, he was obviously way madder at himself than you are, to begin
with.

It's never a good idea to try to put yourself in the other guy's shoes
when the other guy is truly suicidal. For one thing you CAN'T. Think if
the condition was contagious. It would be like the end of that Penn and
Teller movie.

It's easy for somebody who's not killing themselves to say, "I wouldn't
kill myself, because of the kids," but when you're that depressed,
you're saying, "I will kill myself, because of the kids." And it MAKES
PERFECT SENSE at the time.

It's so frustrating. You just can't beat sense into a suicidal person's
head. What are you going to THREATEN them with?

ANOTHER PERSON'S GRIEF. As Phineas said on the IRC the other night,
some SubGeniuses want to kill themselves, but... they know it'd kill
their MOM. So they wish their mom would hurry up and die. Which makes
them feel guilty so they want to kill themselves even more.

Some SubGenius said, "Animals aren't smart enough to kill themselves."

A CHILLING THOUGHT!!

What's the hurry, though. God or "Bob" or The Roll of the Dice IS going
to get you no matter what. "They ALWAYS end up on their heads." If you
try to kill yourself you'll just muff the job -- you're an amateur, by
definition. Let the pros do it. LET "BOB" DO IT FOR YOU. And he might
take his Sweet Time getting around to it. Might make you IMPATIENT. But
do you think YOU can do a job like that better than "BOB" can? DO YOU
REALLY? You better be DAMN SURE. Until then, best to let Saleman Dobbs
handle the soul-brokering -- on HIS schedule.

Heck, in some cases, who knows, he just might tell you to HURRY UP AND
JUMP FER CHRIPE'S SAKE!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

>> Rev. Nickie wrote:
>> > Dude, it's pathetic. No matter how fucking
>> > depressed you are, you DON'T call your
>> > 6-year-old, tell him you'll be home soon,
>> > and then jump off a bridge. Fuck him.

Spalding Gray, like Jesus, would be best remembered for what he said and did
while alive, than for the bizarre manner or untimeliness of his death.

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Original file name: Re- Another Dead Cel#1AD09A.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05