SubSITE is Risen. It is Risen Indeed

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Sun, Apr 11, 2004

Check out http://www.subgenius.com

but make sure you hit "refresh" on EVERY PAGE.

The whole thing should be a lot easier to maneuver around in.

St. Bucky did the new layout, and I spent the last 3 days tweaking the
hell out of it. BY CHANCE, I uploaded the new index at 12:00 a.m.
Easter morning (Central time -- it was actually 1 a.m. where I was, but
who's picking nits.)

Of special interest to some will be the fact that all of HIGH WEIRDNESS
BY MAIL's kooks and visionaries (the ones that still exist anyway) have
been tracked down on the Web by Friar Synapse, and the links are
organized just like the various groups and nuts were in the book.

That's HUNDREDS of kook and visionary links. I wish I had time to look
at them all, but I have my own kook manifestos and web pages to finish.

In fact, all of the web-link sections have been COMPLETELY redone. I
must've double-checked umpteen hundred SubGenius and weirdo websites in
a row earlier today.

If anybody feels left out, just email me or St. Bucky and eventually
we'll put your info in. Short and clear is best in such letters.

AHHH... now I can RELAX... by doing the TAXES.

OH FUCK! FORGOT! SHOW! NEW SHOW DUE MONDAY!

Hour of Slack assembly -- inevitable as DEATH, TAXES, and "BOB".

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Check out http://www.subgenius.com

odd

I got bounced to www.subgenius.com/css something every time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Hmm... well now... it is true that among the various dingleberries
which came from Bucky with the new layout were little odds and ends
that I do not understand, arcane little files with names like
"subcss.css" and "index.cpt", which I went ahead and uploaded, so
trusting am I, and so well did the site continue to work on my tests.
Also I immediately got on the IRC channel to see if Bucky was around so
he could see that I'd finally done something with his work, and of the
people on the IRC at 2 in the morning on a Saturday night before Easter
(a shocking number of people), none had any trouble viewing the site.
You mentioned that you were working from some kind of antique steam
driven or gas powered computer, with a modem made from an aquarium pump
or something, so maybe it's one of those "only works with netscape 2.5
and higher" things. Surely somebody whizzier than me at this kid stuff
can explain and solve it.

I can't believe I'm up at 5 in the morning but I was buzzed from
working and I watched Death to Smoochy for awhile and then came up here
to start another DVD to cooking (they take an HOUR each), and here I am
working on the damn site again. If I was reading a GOOD sci fi book
this week, I would NOT be up here WORKING, I'd be in bed reading next
to my snoozing wife. But sadly, I'm attempting ONE... LAST... TIME...
to read a Robert Heinlein novel. "STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND." Every
single book by that guy that I've ever started, I couldn't finish
because they were JUST TOO PAINFULLY DUMB. I can enjoy the heck out of
painfully dumb books lots of times, but not if they have this CLOYING,
SMARMY PUSSY-ASS FAKE TOUGH GUY "VOICE." My Heinlein loving friends
kept urging me to try one more, don't judge him by THAT book and THAT
book... so I tried STRANGER, hoping that maybe the reason I thought it
sucked when I was 15 was because I was so ignorant then, but NO, 'FRAID
NOT, IT *STILL* SUCKS.

This is not the first time I've expressed terrible disappointment with
Robert Heinlein nor is it the first time I've sworn I could do better
without actually proving it. But I will, by gobbs, if I haven't
already, just because it disgustipates me so much to see this frat boy
jock shit get ENJOYED. At least MY one incredibly stupid novella was
SUPPOSED to be that stupid (tip of the hat to Doc Savage). You can't
tell me that STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND is SUPPOSED to be this stupid.

But at least I can SEE the pages of this uninviting book. I've
apparently improved SubSITE so much that you can't see it at all. You
might be happier with it that way.

I can tell you that it's almost all black-and-white, and very STAID
looking, at least on the main pages on the front end. Old school art
and not much of that. Very quickly it goes back to the horrid
mish-mash, once you get inside any given section.

The Kooks Museum links were hauled up more to the forefront in two
different places in the web links section, for what that's worth. An
Englishman named Friar Synapse did a shitload of work updating kook and
rival religion links, and you and Mrs. Nenslo MIGHT find something new
to you there, and of interest, IF we can reverse engineer this
anti-Nensletic field the site seems to have thrown up around itself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: rhymeswith@starmail.com (C. Woolard)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> [...] and here I am
> working on the damn site again. If I was reading a GOOD sci fi book
> this week, I would NOT be up here WORKING, I'd be in bed reading next
> to my snoozing wife. But sadly, I'm attempting ONE... LAST... TIME...
> to read a Robert Heinlein novel. "STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND." Every
> single book by that guy that I've ever started, I couldn't finish
> because they were JUST TOO PAINFULLY DUMB. I can enjoy the heck out of
> painfully dumb books lots of times, but not if they have this CLOYING,
> SMARMY PUSSY-ASS FAKE TOUGH GUY "VOICE." My Heinlein loving friends
> kept urging me to try one more, don't judge him by THAT book and THAT
> book... so I tried STRANGER, hoping that maybe the reason I thought it
> sucked when I was 15 was because I was so ignorant then, but NO, 'FRAID
> NOT, IT *STILL* SUCKS.

"Thou Art God".

There, I've just summarized Heinlein in three words; you never have to
read him again.

That's also, incidentally, the summary of *both* Aleister Crowley
*and* Ayn Rand.

A troika of one-hit-wonders in a scam that pays by the word and alwys
has. Yeesh.

As you should know, having written H^H^H edited H^H^H cat-herded about
500 pages worth of *EEEEE* that basically boils down to "Shut up or
stand up".

OKM.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

Our site is now officially better-looking than Scientology's. Nice.

--
"A cry in the dark
Disappears into the void
PLONK"
-- Joe Cosby

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: pipe_phol_monty@subgenius.T\/ (Pipe Fool Munty)

if course, it looks gorgeous - just like every member of the church itself.

one small parade-being-rained-on item of note: the devival advertised thusly

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics11/devival-posters/Eggs-day.jpg

isn't a REAL devival - that was some sort of spoof thing that Espira put
together as an eggsperiment

an entirely DIFFERENT devival poster for an event deep down amongst the
Brighton heretics will be forthcoming, no doubt.

>->stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrot:

> Check out http://www.subgenius.com
>
> but make sure you hit "refresh" on EVERY PAGE.

Phil Monty
Pope of the North of England
and Mornington Crescent
speaking for UK SubGenius Heresy.
incorporating the Church of Scatology and science of DIURETICS
_________________________________
"remember: If you`re not offending somebody, then you're not doing it right"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Pipe Fool Munty <pipe_phol_monty@subgenius.T\/> wrote:
> if course, it looks gorgeous - just like every member of the church itself.
>
> one small parade-being-rained-on item of note: the devival advertised thusly
>
> http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics11/devival-posters/Eggs-day.jpg
>
> isn't a REAL devival - that was some sort of spoof thing that Espira put
> together as an eggsperiment

Perfect for Easter, though.

> an entirely DIFFERENT devival poster for an event deep down amongst the
> Brighton heretics will be forthcoming, no doubt.

Right-oh, old chap!

Incidentally, you know that your heresy will land you in the deepest,
sexiest S&M dungeon of SubGenius Hell, don't you?

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

But we're getting off track here. Is Nenslo the only person that
SubSITE refuses to see?

Is anyone else unseeing SubSITE?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Someone forgot something.

I don't think nenslo is getting bounced to subcss.css but probably is
getting an error message something like:

"http://www.subgenius.com/subcss.css

is not found"

There is supposed to be a style sheet in the top directory of the site
called subcss.css but it isn't there.

This text for instance:

"Through "Bob," even humans can learn to get with the times.."

is marked in the HTML as being class="arial" , which would be a style
defined in the style sheet. I assume it would be in an Arial font,
but it is times/new roman in my browser.

So somewhere he probably sent you a file called "subcss.css" which is
supposed to be in the same directory as the subsite index page

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Why of course the people don't want war... But, after all, it is
the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always
a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy,
or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of
the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are
being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and
exposing the country to danger."
-- Hermann Goering At the Nuremberg trials.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
> Someone forgot something.

+/-YES!!+/- It is as you say!

> I don't think nenslo is getting bounced to subcss.css but probably is
> getting an error message something like:
>
> "http://www.subgenius.com/subcss.css
>
> is not found"
>
> There is supposed to be a style sheet in the top directory of the site
> called subcss.css but it isn't there.

That is correct! I thought it was there. I thought I remembered FTPing
that very thing, which I suspected was a style sheet (I have heard tell
of such things). BUT!! I AM A SUBGENIUS. It was a false memory.
CLOSE... when I popped open my personal SubSITE copy directory, on my
machine, THAT FILE was still highlighted. It was the last one that I
touched with my mouse last night. And yet when I looked at the server
copy, IT WAS NOT THERE! (It is now.) And when I looked at the careful
notes that I take during these operations, sure enough, "subcss.css"
was scrawled in pencil but HAD NO RED CHECK-MARK!

I was ABOUT to drag-drop that LAST FILE over to the server when
SOMETHING distracted me. Possibly something that flashed its tits at
me.

Beats working.

> This text for instance:
>
> "Through "Bob," even humans can learn to get with the times.."
>
> is marked in the HTML as being class="arial" , which would be a style
> defined in the style sheet. I assume it would be in an Arial font,
> but it is times/new roman in my browser.
>
> So somewhere he probably sent you a file called "subcss.css" which is
> supposed to be in the same directory as the subsite index page

I'd been seeing that in Arial the whole time inside my machine on
account of I had that sub.css in my local copy. I didn't notice it NOT
being Arial when I checked it on the site but by then it was2 in the
morning. It also sure hasn't been asking to see the css. And now that
the css is there I can't tell any difference.

But now I hope it is behaving right.

Why would the Nenslo browser balk when mine wouldn't, I wonder.

And can Nenslo see it, is still the question. Nenslo MUST have that
OPTION, even if it remains ONLY an option. Although I've noticed that
now that you can google-search JUST SubSITE, CERTAIN PEOPLE have been
spending their Easter Sunday looking up what might have been said about
or by them in the past.

I had also forgotten to insert 3 of the new Bucky files in the Classics
section and a person on the IRC caught it immediately, right after I
used the "Instant Sub-IRC Java Now!" doohicky, "DarkIRC," which Bucky
installed so the people stuck in browserlandia can still enjoy the
dubious pleasures of the Church IRC realm -- the land where everybody
thinks and talks in short one-sentence bursts instead of enormous
run-on sentences like this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Leonard the Committed <ccssk@fuckspammerschartermi.net>

> St. Bucky did the new layout, and I spent the last 3 days tweaking the
> hell out of it. BY CHANCE, I uploaded the new index at 12:00 a.m.
> Easter morning (Central time -- it was actually 1 a.m. where I was, but
> who's picking nits.)

If that would have happened a few hours sooner, I'd have been buying HIM
pitchers instead of scarfing off his last night.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Hmm... well now... it is true that among the various dingleberries
> which came from Bucky with the new layout were little odds and ends
> that I do not understand, arcane little files with names like
> "subcss.css" and "index.cpt",

> This is not the first time I've expressed terrible disappointment with
> Robert Heinlein nor is it the first time I've sworn I could do better
> without actually proving it. But I will, by gobbs, if I haven't
> already, just because it disgustipates me so much to see this frat boy
> jock shit get ENJOYED. At least MY one incredibly stupid novella was
> SUPPOSED to be that stupid (tip of the hat to Doc Savage). You can't
> tell me that STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND is SUPPOSED to be this stupid.

Well today I saw it fine so never mind. But you know from your own
personal experience how much god damn scifi I have read and although it
was a Heinlein juvenile which sparked my original interest I cannot say
for sure that I have or have not read much by him - whatever I read
other than that one book that I can't remember the name of and Starship
Troopers which I didn't really care much for, has simply faded from my
memory. Yet I can clearly recall pert near every Clifford Simak novel,
and I HAVE read them all, every one. Except those two real late fantasy
ones where he was really past his not even prime but tolerability, like
when you get to volume seven of the Riverworld trilogy and just go like
what the fuck. Only I agree, that's about where Heinlein starts. I got
to the point years ago of having to seek out works by such writers as
Nelson Bond, Jerry Sohl, Paul Tabori, or even John Lymington who has
written essentially the same novel a dozen times, because I had simply
USED UP all the big names. And now I have mostly used up even the small
names and I look at new SF and it's pretty god damn hard to find
anything that isn't a media product spinoff, or some post-ironic hyper
referential thing which just doesn't need to be done any more, or
volume two of an eight volume series where they only have to invent
three characters and put them in a universe composed entirely of
clichés. Bastards.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

nenslo wrote:
> Well today I saw it fine so never mind. But you know from your own
> personal experience how much god damn scifi I have read and although it
> was a Heinlein juvenile which sparked my original interest I cannot say
> for sure that I have or have not read much by him - whatever I read
> other than that one book that I can't remember the name of and Starship
> Troopers which I didn't really care much for, has simply faded from my
> memory. Yet I can clearly recall pert near every Clifford Simak novel,
> and I HAVE read them all, every one. Except those two real late fantasy
> ones where he was really past his not even prime but tolerability, like
> when you get to volume seven of the Riverworld trilogy and just go like
> what the fuck. Only I agree, that's about where Heinlein starts. I got
> to the point years ago of having to seek out works by such writers as
> Nelson Bond, Jerry Sohl, Paul Tabori, or even John Lymington who has
> written essentially the same novel a dozen times, because I had simply
> USED UP all the big names. And now I have mostly used up even the small
> names and I look at new SF and it's pretty god damn hard to find
> anything that isn't a media product spinoff, or some post-ironic hyper
> referential thing which just doesn't need to be done any more, or
> volume two of an eight volume series where they only have to invent
> three characters and put them in a universe composed entirely of
> clichés. Bastards.

Thank you SO MUCH for the adjective phrase "post-ironic hyper
referential." I am going out this week with a girl who is majoring in
English Literature, and I feel certain that phrase will be the key to
getting in her pants.

--
"A cry in the dark
Disappears into the void
PLONK"
-- Joe Cosby

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Why would the Nenslo browser balk when mine wouldn't, I wonder.

Why indeed.
> And can Nenslo see it, is still the question.

I saw it, but I didn't read any of it.

It's true I was getting an error message like your correspondent said.
I figure if I get an error message I am lucky, since it isn't just
freezing up and cutting me off like usually happens. Anybody wants to
get rid of their old G4 cube, the kind with no cooling fan whirring all
the time, think of me. When Mrs. Nenslo wanted to buy me a computer for
my birthday a couple years ago I asked for an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner
instead. And I don't regret it. See, you get an upright, and a
canister with attachments and a shoulder strap, plus I got a free
dustbuster. I did my research and the Oreck is the way to go. I asked
an unusually honest salesman at a vacuum cleaner store what the benefit
was of the kind where you see the dirt whirling around in the container
and he said "You see the dirt." I said that's it? and he said that's
it. And some of those ones with filters the warranty requires you to
replace them every six months and they are so damn expensive that if you
did that it'd be like buying a new vacuum every year and a half which
they don't tell you on Home Shopping Club that's for sure. The only
problem with the Oreck is if you have a pretty thick rug just keep it
moving or it stops the brushes and you scorch the belt. Other than that
it's great.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

nenslo wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>>Why would the Nenslo browser balk when mine wouldn't, I wonder.
>
> Why indeed.
>
>>And can Nenslo see it, is still the question.
>
> I saw it, but I didn't read any of it.
>
> It's true I was getting an error message like your correspondent said.
> I figure if I get an error message I am lucky, since it isn't just
> freezing up and cutting me off like usually happens. Anybody wants to
> get rid of their old G4 cube, the kind with no cooling fan whirring all
> the time, think of me. When Mrs. Nenslo wanted to buy me a computer for
> my birthday a couple years ago I asked for an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner
> instead. And I don't regret it. See, you get an upright, and a
> canister with attachments and a shoulder strap, plus I got a free
> dustbuster. I did my research and the Oreck is the way to go. I asked
> an unusually honest salesman at a vacuum cleaner store what the benefit
> was of the kind where you see the dirt whirling around in the container
> and he said "You see the dirt." I said that's it? and he said that's
> it. And some of those ones with filters the warranty requires you to
> replace them every six months and they are so damn expensive that if you
> did that it'd be like buying a new vacuum every year and a half which
> they don't tell you on Home Shopping Club that's for sure. The only
> problem with the Oreck is if you have a pretty thick rug just keep it
> moving or it stops the brushes and you scorch the belt. Other than that
> it's great.

Somehow I pictured Nenslo as the type who would prefer that Mrs. Nenslo
did all the vacuuming.

--
"A cry in the dark
Disappears into the void
PLONK"
-- Joe Cosby

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ridetheory <ridetheory@notmail.com>

Cardinal Vertigo at jhobbs@myrealbox.com wrote on 4/12/04 12:53 AM:
> Somehow I pictured Nenslo as the type who would prefer that Mrs. Nenslo
> did all the vacuuming.

Nenslo would prefer not to find fault with Mrs. Nenslo's vacuuming only
slightly more than he would prefer not to do all the vacuuming himself.

iggy

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > Why would the Nenslo browser balk when mine wouldn't, I wonder.
>
> Why indeed.
>
> > And can Nenslo see it, is still the question.
>
> I saw it, but I didn't read any of it.

You had said that you "got bounced to www.subgenius.com/css " which
made me think you got bounced to something besides SubSITE and couldn't
see it and that therefore there was some weird technical problem which
I needed to fix, in case there are lots of other people around using
older computer gear who were also getting "bounced."

>
> It's true I was getting an error message like your correspondent said.
> I figure if I get an error message I am lucky, since it isn't just
> freezing up and cutting me off like usually happens. Anybody wants to
> get rid of their old G4 cube, the kind with no cooling fan whirring all
> the time, think of me. When Mrs. Nenslo wanted to buy me a computer for
> my birthday a couple years ago I asked for an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner
> instead. And I don't regret it. See, you get an upright, and a
> canister with attachments and a shoulder strap, plus I got a free
> dustbuster. I did my research and the Oreck is the way to go. I asked
> an unusually honest salesman at a vacuum cleaner store what the benefit
> was of the kind where you see the dirt whirling around in the container
> and he said "You see the dirt." I said that's it? and he said that's
> it. And some of those ones with filters the warranty requires you to
> replace them every six months and they are so damn expensive that if you
> did that it'd be like buying a new vacuum every year and a half which
> they don't tell you on Home Shopping Club that's for sure. The only
> problem with the Oreck is if you have a pretty thick rug just keep it
> moving or it stops the brushes and you scorch the belt. Other than that
> it's great.

I see that you're not a slave to SubSITE.

"Old" G4 cube. If that's "old," then what does that make you and me?

ANY postponement of buying a new computer is a MONEY-SAVING THING since
every new computer is obsolete by the time you get it home from the
store. I bought the cheapest Dirt Devil at Walmart, which miffed
Princess Wei for at least 2 reasons, but it isn't obsolete yet.

One of the funniest things I ever saw at Burning Man was a guy in a
very good Red Devil suit -- all-red tux, well-made tail, exactly right
goatee, the works -- FRANTICALLY VACUUMING the "streets" of Burning Man
with a Dust Devil vacuum cleaner. EVERYTHING YOU SEE besides the art
and hippies and cars IS DUST. So he was REALLY FRANTIC.

To completely mingle the subjects, I would suggest that for anybody who
DOES have a semi-recent Mac that they were gonna donate or trash,
giving it to Nenslo would actually be a pretty good use of it in my
opinion.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

--
"A cry in the dark
Disappears into the void
PLONK"
-- Joe Cosby

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> > Hmm... well now... it is true that among the various dingleberries
> > which came from Bucky with the new layout were little odds and ends
> > that I do not understand, arcane little files with names like
> > "subcss.css" and "index.cpt",
>
> > This is not the first time I've expressed terrible disappointment with
> > Robert Heinlein nor is it the first time I've sworn I could do better
> > without actually proving it. But I will, by gobbs, if I haven't
> > already, just because it disgustipates me so much to see this frat boy
> > jock shit get ENJOYED. At least MY one incredibly stupid novella was
> > SUPPOSED to be that stupid (tip of the hat to Doc Savage). You can't
> > tell me that STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND is SUPPOSED to be this stupid.
>
>
> Well today I saw it fine so never mind. But you know from your own
> personal experience how much god damn scifi I have read and although it
> was a Heinlein juvenile which sparked my original interest I cannot say
> for sure that I have or have not read much by him - whatever I read
> other than that one book that I can't remember the name of and Starship
> Troopers which I didn't really care much for, has simply faded from my
> memory. Yet I can clearly recall pert near every Clifford Simak novel,
> and I HAVE read them all, every one. Except those two real late fantasy
> ones where he was really past his not even prime but tolerability, like
> when you get to volume seven of the Riverworld trilogy and just go like
> what the fuck.

Perfect example. Although I've never seen any series go all spazzy like
the DUNE books did... they're the ones that stand out in my mind in the
what the fuck category.

> Only I agree, that's about where Heinlein starts. I got
> to the point years ago of having to seek out works by such writers as
> Nelson Bond, Jerry Sohl, Paul Tabori, or even John Lymington who has
> written essentially the same novel a dozen times, because I had simply
> USED UP all the big names. And now I have mostly used up even the small
> names and I look at new SF and it's pretty god damn hard to find
> anything that isn't a media product spinoff, or some post-ironic hyper
> referential thing which just doesn't need to be done any more, or
> volume two of an eight volume series where they only have to invent
> three characters and put them in a universe composed entirely of
> clichés. Bastards.

Sci fi was my childhood religion, and I returned to it about 8 years
ago. For the intervening decades, I had gotten off into reading silly
subject matter like the paranormal, and comparative religion, and then
finally the weirdest and scariest of all: HISTORY. But when I quit
smoking, I found I could only find relief and escape from my troubles
with the FOUNDATIONAL BEDROCK of my personality -- besides titties and
food -- SCI FI.

Not TV sci fi. Those stories are lifted from comic books I read when I
was in elementary school. Just sci fi books.

I caught up on all the "hard sf" by the three physics teachers whose
names start with Bs, Brin, Benford and Bear, which was lots of fun for
me, but I swear, I think those three guys are competing to
"out-"Doc"-Smith" each other. Like, who can come up with the most
outrageously overdone climax? Using planets as weapons? Pshaw. How
1930. Alien civilizations nowadays aren't worth a shit unless they're
slinging ENTIRE MULTIPLE-UNIVERSE TIMESTREAMS at each other and
devouring galaxies in one gulp to feed engineering projects that span
All Time and Back Again.

Then another B guy came along, Stephen Baxte. I read his sequel to The
Time Machine, The Time Ships, and by gobbs if I didn't decide it was a
FITTING SEQUEL! To me that's a tall order to fill, H.G. Wells being a
longdurpersav of mine. I have since consumed almost all of Baxter's
books. He seems bent on finding ways to use ALL his toys in ONE
PLAY-SESSION -- somehow he's gonna get EVERY cowboy and Indian involved
with ALL those spacemen and dinosaurs at once. I can't help but love
it.

I had a guy tell me that even though he hated Scientology, he had read
Battlefield Earth and thought it the best sci fi book he had ever read.
I asked him what other sci fi books he had read, but he couldn't
actually think of any offhand. He seemed kind of irritated at me for
asking.

You remember when I was all excited because I found ALL the Wild Card
novels at once in that great Portland used book store?

Boy, did THAT series ever piss out into nowheresville. Peee-YEW. The
first 5 or 6 were GREAT, though. The 14th is beyond bad... but nowhere
near far ENOUGH beyond bad.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Why would the Nenslo browser balk when mine wouldn't, I wonder.

Why indeed.

> And can Nenslo see it, is still the question.

I saw it, but I didn't read any of it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

nenslo wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>>Why would the Nenslo browser balk when mine wouldn't, I wonder.
>
> Why indeed.
>
>>And can Nenslo see it, is still the question.
>
> I saw it, but I didn't read any of it.
>
> It's true I was getting an error message like your correspondent said.
> I figure if I get an error message I am lucky, since it isn't just
> freezing up and cutting me off like usually happens. Anybody wants to
> get rid of their old G4 cube, the kind with no cooling fan whirring all
> the time, think of me. When Mrs. Nenslo wanted to buy me a computer for
> my birthday a couple years ago I asked for an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner
> instead. And I don't regret it. See, you get an upright, and a
> canister with attachments and a shoulder strap, plus I got a free
> dustbuster. I did my research and the Oreck is the way to go. I asked
> an unusually honest salesman at a vacuum cleaner store what the benefit
> was of the kind where you see the dirt whirling around in the container
> and he said "You see the dirt." I said that's it? and he said that's
> it. And some of those ones with filters the warranty requires you to
> replace them every six months and they are so damn expensive that if you
> did that it'd be like buying a new vacuum every year and a half which
> they don't tell you on Home Shopping Club that's for sure. The only
> problem with the Oreck is if you have a pretty thick rug just keep it
> moving or it stops the brushes and you scorch the belt. Other than that
> it's great.

Somehow I pictured Nenslo as the type who would prefer that Mrs. Nenslo
did all the vacuuming.

--
"A cry in the dark
Disappears into the void
PLONK"
-- Joe Cosby

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ridetheory <ridetheory@notmail.com>

Cardinal Vertigo at jhobbs@myrealbox.com wrote:
> Somehow I pictured Nenslo as the type who would prefer that Mrs. Nenslo
> did all the vacuuming.

Nenslo would prefer not to find fault with Mrs. Nenslo's vacuuming only
slightly more than he would prefer not to do all the vacuuming himself.

iggy

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

> It's true I was getting an error message like your correspondent said.
> I figure if I get an error message I am lucky, since it isn't just
> freezing up and cutting me off like usually happens. Anybody wants to
> get rid of their old G4 cube, the kind with no cooling fan whirring all
> the time, think of me. When Mrs. Nenslo wanted to buy me a computer for
> my birthday a couple years ago I asked for an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner
> instead. And I don't regret it. See, you get an upright, and a
> canister with attachments and a shoulder strap, plus I got a free
> dustbuster. I did my research and the Oreck is the way to go. I asked
> an unusually honest salesman at a vacuum cleaner store what the benefit
> was of the kind where you see the dirt whirling around in the container
> and he said "You see the dirt." I said that's it? and he said that's
> it. And some of those ones with filters the warranty requires you to
> replace them every six months and they are so damn expensive that if you
> did that it'd be like buying a new vacuum every year and a half which
> they don't tell you on Home Shopping Club that's for sure. The only
> problem with the Oreck is if you have a pretty thick rug just keep it
> moving or it stops the brushes and you scorch the belt. Other than that
> it's great.

I see that you're not a slave to SubSITE.

"Old" G4 cube. If that's "old," then what does that make you and me?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

The next generation of vacuum cleaners are going to have an iPod
embedded in the handle with a tiny little display like a Palm Pilot
and they will automatically reorder filters every six months as they
become obsolete.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
THE HAT IS NOT YOUR ENEMY.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> To completely mingle the subjects, I would suggest that for anybody who
> DOES have a semi-recent Mac that they were gonna donate or trash,
> giving it to Nenslo would actually be a pretty good use of it in my
> opinion.

Why don't I just give him the nearly bullet-proof BOX mine came in
and see how he does with that first. We wouldn't want him to have an
infarction from the sudden change. I LIKE Nenslo. I want his pelt to
stay shiny for years to come.

HellPope Huey
Next: Edible Hulk Underoos
for confused manic depressives

It's hard to work in groups when you're omnipotent.
- Q., "Star Trek, The Next Generation"

Its hard to depurify the permanently besodden.
- Popess Lilith

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> > To completely mingle the subjects, I would suggest that for anybody who
> > DOES have a semi-recent Mac that they were gonna donate or trash,
> > giving it to Nenslo would actually be a pretty good use of it in my
> > opinion.
>
> Why don't I just give him the nearly bullet-proof BOX mine came in
> and see how he does with that first. We wouldn't want him to have an
> infarction from the sudden change. I LIKE Nenslo. I want his pelt to
> stay shiny for years to come.

So you are the one putting a raw egg in my crunchies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> HellPopeHuey wrote:
> > Why don't I just give him the nearly bullet-proof BOX mine came in
> > and see how he does with that first. We wouldn't want him to have an
> > infarction from the sudden change. I LIKE Nenslo. I want his pelt to
> > stay shiny for years to come.
> >
> So you are the one putting a raw egg in my crunchies.

The real clincher of it is, I sort of rappel down from the ceiling on
a line, "Mission: Impossible"-style, squat, lay that egg myself and
then silently reel my way back up to the ceiling. I've watched you eat
several times and you never even noticed I was there.

HellPope Huey
If the neighbors play rock, beat 'em with sticks;
If they play rap, kneecap them;
but if they play opera, shoot 'em in the EYE.

"Tap into people's dignity
and they will do anything for you.
Ignore it and they won't lift a finger."
- Thomas Friedman

"Somebody tell the Swiss to stop
standing in the doorway
with a mouse in their mouth."
- "The West Wing"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:

When Mrs. Nenslo wanted to buy me a computer for
> my birthday a couple years ago I asked for an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner
> instead. And I don't regret it. See, you get an upright, and a
> canister with attachments and a shoulder strap, plus I got a free
> dustbuster. I did my research and the Oreck is the way to go.

No way dude. The Miele Flamenco II Turbo-Plus is a much better
machine. You'll never throw a belt with one of those puppies because
there is no belt. It's all vacuum powered. Same kind of vacuum they
use on the space shuttle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

You know who said this part:
>Mrs. Nenslo wanted to buy me a computer for
>my birthday a couple years ago I asked for an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner
>instead.

I ahve a mini-collection of antique Filter Queens. Wouldn't trade them for a
sex slave.

======================================================
"Fodam-se os que nao entendem uma piada."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: chip@pobox.com (Chip Salzenberg)

According to stang@subgeniusNOSPUMMY.com:
>I've never seen any series go all spazzy like the DUNE books
>did... they're the ones that stand out in my mind in the what the
>fuck category.

I'm given to understand that Jack Campbell had *heavy* editorial input
into the early part of the Dune series, the part that was published as
the first book and part of the second. For example, for all the weird
creatures, there are "NO ALIENS!" (Jack Campbell hated aliens.) All
the monsters are human, or used to be, just like in "real" life.

When it came time to write more Dune, though, Herbert didn't listen to
Campbell any more. Maybe he believed his own press, I dunno.

Take this story for what it's worth ... I initially got it on Usenet
("SO IT MUST BE TRUE"), via a character who calls himself "Gharlane of
Eddore" (zero-point ref); yeah, it's Usenet, but he'd been around the
network block for many a year, and his story makes sense.
--
Chip Salzenberg - a.k.a. - <chip@pobox.com>
"It furthers one to have somewhere to go."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infionline.net>

The way I heard it - take *that* for what it's worth - was that Campbell
didn't so much hate aliens; the authors in his stable could write all
about nicey-nice, friendly aliens if they wanted to. They just had to
make sure to show that humans were superior to any old alien.
Hoomins had to save the day, prove to be smarter than their
tentacled brethren and all that. Some authors with a little common
sense could see this was Martian droppings, but they went along
with it because the was J*O*H*N C*A*M*P*B*E*L*L, the editor
of the top SF magazine around. So some authors wrote about the
natural superiority of squishy bag of water with only two eyes and
the awkward limbs, and some of them probably actually believed it
(I suspect Heinlein was that way). Other authors copped out by
simply avoiding aliens altogether, like Herbert and Isaac Asimov
(no aliens at all in the "Foundation" series).

Along these lines, one of the more interesting SF series I've come
across, and a real favorite of mine, is the "Sector General" stories
by James White. Sector General is an interstellar hospital
populated by all sorts of exotic aliens, including humans. But the
series acknowledges that humanoid bipeds don't always make the
best surgeons; think of how a set of tiny, flexible tentacles can
be useful for very delicate surgical procdures. James White was
obviously anti-war - a thinking man living in Belfast, so that's no
surprise - and I think "Sector General" was a major rebuttal of
the bellicosity that was and still is so popular in mainstream SF.
The docs in Sector General are constantly meeting strange
unknown beings out there in the Cosmos. But these exotic
creatures are almost always sick, and the drama comes, not
from fighting them, but from trying to cure what ails them.

This is the sort of thing that Campbell would never have
published in "Astounding" or "Analog".

Paul E. Jamison

"Who reads, learns, lives the Ferret Way becomes keeper
of light, ennobling outer worlds from one within."
- a prophecy from the Ancients

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Original file name: SubSITE is Risen. It#1AD0AA.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05