What Level of Hell Are YOU Headed For? (According to Dante)

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: stang@subgeniusNOSPUMMY.com
Date: Wed, Apr 7, 2004 9:43 AM
Message-ID: <070420040943130885%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

In article <CLKcc.3832$1t2.539@newssvr31.news.prodigy.com>, HdMrs.
Salacia the Overseer <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu> wrote:

> Yes. It's a web quiz. This one isn't too bad, I swear!
>
>
> http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
>
> I got level II- the lustful

Me too! So -- shall we make it a date?

I don't trust this test, though. I KNOW I should have gotten higher
marks on Gluttony, for instance. I was shooting for Level 6, Heresy,
but apparently the computer was able to detect some tiny nugget of
redemption in me... GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!

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Subject: Re: What Level of Hell Are YOU Headed For? (According to Dante)
From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu>

> Me too! So -- shall we make it a date?

Sure! You get started without me and when the devil comes to collect me
according to our contract (Section IV addendum 17, that tiny writing in the
footnotes), I'll look you up.

> I don't trust this test, though. I KNOW I should have gotten higher
> marks on Gluttony, for instance. I was shooting for Level 6, Heresy,
> but apparently the computer was able to detect some tiny nugget of
> redemption in me... GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!
>

Yes, its according to Dante's Italian renaissance idea of hell. I mean
treachery! Puhlease, it is just so passe. And there's all the new sins that
have been invented.

~Salacia

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Subject: Re: What Level of Hell Are YOU Headed For? (According to Dante)
From: "Rev. ErRoR" <error@priest.SPAMcom>

Fifth Level of Hell

The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished
the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each
other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with
their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and
sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the
surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken
words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and
hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

WRATHFUL AND GLOOMY I"LL GIVE EM FUCKIN WRATHFUL!
nah i'm too miserable

How come these web quizzes never reflect real life ?

I see hip hop hell is still "In Effect"
Level 6 - The City of Dis

I pity the fool

Errgatory.

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Subject: Re: What Level of Hell Are YOU Headed For? (According to Dante)
From: "Rich Clark, aka The Left Reverend Egg Plant, ULC, CotSG"

> I got level II- the lustful

I took it, then proctored it for Sr. Karen Too Much.

I got Level 6 - City of Dis: You approach Satan's wretched city where you
behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of
distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the
landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to
believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful
sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no
respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women
and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

She got Level 8 - Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the
multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of
stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the
seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who
struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in
boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged
into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe
desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are
all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents
writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are
torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears
because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with
scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their
skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its
hammer.

I'm so proud of my woman.

Rich
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Subject: Re: What Level of Hell Are YOU Headed For? (According to Dante)
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

I got level 13, the snarky. It must be a new level.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
Jupiter gives wisdom to those he would lose

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Original file name: Re- What Level of Hell A#1AD956 - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05