CotSG: a "joke" religion
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 08:28:21 -0700
--------
('It is an extremely serious religion, however
crackpot it may sound.')
http://tinyurl.com/5twkx
BILL Clinton ordered a bizarre spy unit to
contact the Loch Ness monster by telepathy.
The then-US president gave the go-ahead for his
Psychic Spying Unit to find Nessie as part of a
£15million operation.
One of the leading lights in the hush-hush mission
later claimed to have found a 'faint trace' of the
elusive monster using his psychic powers.
But in his report to the White House he admitted
that the monster he 'saw' was only the ghost of a
dinosaur.
Operation Nessie was launched to establish whether
psychic contact could be made with alien life forms.
The spies' activities were kept secret from regular
army top brass with reports going directly to
Washington.
The exercise has been revealed by author Jon Ronson
in his new book The Men Who Stare at Goats about the
US military's weirdest tactics and operations. Ronson
was given access to previously classified materials
for the book. He said: 'It was an extremely serious
operation, however crackpot it may sound.
'The Americans were convinced the Russians were ahead
of them in the field of psychic study and had platoons
of psychically-trained soldiers ready to launch a
stealth attack on the US.'
The US Army worked on the project from a base at Fort
Meade, Maryland. It was led by General Albert
Stubblebine, Chief of Intelligence for the US Army,
and Major Ed Dames. The unit had begun investigating
UFOs and the possibility alien races - particularly
Martians - were living among humans.
The major believed that Martians had been resettled on
Earth thousands of years ago by leaders of the Galactic
Federation - an ancient race who had been visiting the
planet since the age of the dinosaurs.
Ronson said: 'Dames told me he had targeted the Loch
Ness Monster for psychic contact. He spent a long time
trying to reach the monster from his clapperboard hut
in Maryland but he could only find a faint trace of her.
Based on his work he decided she must be the ghost of a
dinosaur. His report went right up to President Clinton.'
Stubblebine was relieved of his position after he started
to believe he could levitate and pass through walls.
He frequently sported black eyes and bruises because of
his habit of running at walls full tilt - with no success.
Ronson will give readings from the book in Glasgow on
December 7.
--
"I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock
and I'll be back like Independence Day with Jesus,
June 6, like the movie, big mothership and all.
I'll be back."
--Executed Serial killer Aileen Wuornos
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:57:06 GMT
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> ('It is an extremely serious religion, however
> crackpot it may sound.')
>
> http://tinyurl.com/5twkx
>
> BILL Clinton ordered a bizarre spy unit to
> contact the Loch Ness monster by telepathy.
>
> The then-US president gave the go-ahead for his
> Psychic Spying Unit to find Nessie as part of a
> £15million operation.
>
> One of the leading lights in the hush-hush mission
> later claimed to have found a 'faint trace' of the
> elusive monster using his psychic powers.
>
> But in his report to the White House he admitted
> that the monster he 'saw' was only the ghost of a
> dinosaur.
>
> Operation Nessie was launched to establish whether
> psychic contact could be made with alien life forms.
>
> The spies' activities were kept secret from regular
> army top brass with reports going directly to
> Washington.
>
> The exercise has been revealed by author Jon Ronson
> in his new book The Men Who Stare at Goats about the
> US military's weirdest tactics and operations. Ronson
> was given access to previously classified materials
> for the book. He said: 'It was an extremely serious
> operation, however crackpot it may sound.
>
> 'The Americans were convinced the Russians were ahead
> of them in the field of psychic study and had platoons
> of psychically-trained soldiers ready to launch a
> stealth attack on the US.'
>
> The US Army worked on the project from a base at Fort
> Meade, Maryland. It was led by General Albert
> Stubblebine, Chief of Intelligence for the US Army,
> and Major Ed Dames. The unit had begun investigating
> UFOs and the possibility alien races - particularly
> Martians - were living among humans.
>
> The major believed that Martians had been resettled on
> Earth thousands of years ago by leaders of the Galactic
> Federation - an ancient race who had been visiting the
> planet since the age of the dinosaurs.
>
> Ronson said: 'Dames told me he had targeted the Loch
> Ness Monster for psychic contact. He spent a long time
> trying to reach the monster from his clapperboard hut
> in Maryland but he could only find a faint trace of her.
> Based on his work he decided she must be the ghost of a
> dinosaur. His report went right up to President Clinton.'
>
> Stubblebine was relieved of his position after he started
> to believe he could levitate and pass through walls.
>
> He frequently sported black eyes and bruises because of
> his habit of running at walls full tilt - with no success.
>
> Ronson will give readings from the book in Glasgow on
> December 7.
>
> --
> "I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock
> and I'll be back like Independence Day with Jesus,
> June 6, like the movie, big mothership and all.
> I'll be back."
> --Executed Serial killer Aileen Wuornos
I'm none too surprised. The Navy spent $2.5mil trying to determine
whether a submarine could be sunk by means of telepathy, and concluded
that one-half ounce telekinetic energy in the right place would do it.
Also, Google for "remote viewing" for laffs--
Maybe I am unfamiliar with building material terms and
architectural oddities; I have heard of "clapboard" but not
"clapperboard." Does this siding clap-on and clap-off?
It would be ever so much more convenient than jalousie
siding which has to be cranked manually for ventilation.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 17:36:03 GMT
--------
> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> > ('It is an extremely serious religion, however
> > crackpot it may sound.')
> > http://tinyurl.com/5twkx
> > BILL Clinton ordered a bizarre spy unit to
> > contact the Loch Ness monster by telepathy.
They're wasting their time DOUBLE. I ate Nessie in a series of
sandwiches, mostly hoagies, between May 12th and May 22nd of 1984.
You may as well try to telepathically connect with a BOWLING BALL... I
mean, they've been trying THAT trick in political and religious circles
for years, which is how Any Boy Grew Up To Be President, walk around
with no pants on and still win a 2nd term. No wonder civilization will
collapse and be taken over by intelligent gorillas and chimps.
--
HellPope Huey
Religion is like dropping sea urchins in your pants
and then trying to convince others
that they should do it too, because its "good."
Oh, SHUT UP.
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
- Mark Twain
"Smoking and drinking go together,
like porn and nachos."
- "The Oblongs"
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 11:24:53 -0800
--------
On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 17:36:03 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:
>
>> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>
>> > ('It is an extremely serious religion, however
>> > crackpot it may sound.')
>> > http://tinyurl.com/5twkx
>> > BILL Clinton ordered a bizarre spy unit to
>> > contact the Loch Ness monster by telepathy.
>
> They're wasting their time DOUBLE. I ate Nessie in a series of
>sandwiches, mostly hoagies, between May 12th and May 22nd of 1984.
>You may as well try to telepathically connect with a BOWLING BALL...
That means he's communicating psychically with your stomach. And that
your stomach is the ghost of a dinosaur. This is science.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come
and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell
you.
- Jack Handey
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 20:53:42 GMT
--------
In article <7rtmq05dhdr62aanrcb5nl8k35d7bcmchb@4ax.com>,
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 17:36:03 GMT, HellPope Huey
> wrote:
> >> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> >
> >> > ('It is an extremely serious religion, however
> >> > crackpot it may sound.')
> >> > http://tinyurl.com/5twkx
> >> > BILL Clinton ordered a bizarre spy unit to
> >> > contact the Loch Ness monster by telepathy.
> >
> > They're wasting their time DOUBLE. I ate Nessie in a series of
> >sandwiches, mostly hoagies, between May 12th and May 22nd of 1984.
> >You may as well try to telepathically connect with a BOWLING BALL...
>
> That means he's communicating psychically with your stomach. And that
> your stomach is the ghost of a dinosaur. This is science.
I wonder if I can PROVE it on the news and make some easy money off of
it.
"Man's stomach is ghost of Nessie; can cure boils, itching, herpes and
colic; 'The constant roaring keeps me from sleeping', says haggard man,
as hundreds line up per day; Begs for your kind dollars to buy Seconal
and a really large fly swatter."
--
HellPope Huey
Religion is like dropping sea urchins in your pants
and then trying to convince others
that they should do it too, because its "good."
Oh, SHUT UP.
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
- Mark Twain
"Smoking and drinking go together,
like porn and nachos."
- "The Oblongs"
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 15:06:31 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
>
> You may as well try to telepathically connect with a BOWLING BALL...
My bowling ball taught me two very nice songs.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 15:58:37 -0800
--------
On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 15:06:31 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>HellPope Huey wrote:
>>
>>
>> You may as well try to telepathically connect with a BOWLING BALL...
>
>My bowling ball taught me two very nice songs.
"Ow fuck my foot" and "Oh sorry about your foot'. D minor 3/4 time.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey butane in my veins and I'm out to get the junky
- Beck
Correspondent:: Candlemoth
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2004 12:47:05 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>>"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>
>
>>>('It is an extremely serious religion, however
>>>crackpot it may sound.')
>>>http://tinyurl.com/5twkx
>>>BILL Clinton ordered a bizarre spy unit to
>>>contact the Loch Ness monster by telepathy.
>
>
No wonder civilization will
> collapse and be taken over by intelligent gorillas and chimps.
Yeah and if you check they're no longer just getting the ugly, fat
girls.. Now they have better looking trophys.. Lord, kill me now!