Yep, I have absolutely had it with my Conspiracy job, and I am gonna
quit. Here's the brief background -- they gave me more slack-stealing
work to do but won't send any greater quantity of pellets down the
reward chute.
Now, I need help with the "letter of resignation."
How about Dear Pink Bosses, I am gonna waste you miserable little
shits as soon as I join the Postal Workers Union?
BTW, if you ever need to do business with Commercial National Bank,
Deposit Guaranty or G&W Life, say a thousand "Hail Connie"'s and
forget about it......
Can we come up with a generic form letter for SubG's to quit their
jobs?
Radar Labs 23
It's a squirtin' universe
8======)~~~
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Date: 25 Mar 1995 08:05:56 GMT
Kevan Smith (cuthulu@unicomp.net) wrote:
: Now, I need help with the "letter of resignation?
: Can we come up with a generic form letter for SubG's to quit their
: jobs?
"I've been converted. See attached Pamphlet #1"
"Bye."
--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sphinx1@ix.netcom.com (Sphinx Drummond)
Never forget if you were getting fired, the only notice you
would get is how to find the exit. You owe those bastards nuthin'. They
pay you for your time, you do them the a favor by showing up and
providing something they value. They don't pay until you've accumulated
time and they owe you.
When you decide you can take no more, you hand the "boss" a
piece of paper on which you've written - in 2 weeks you'll notice I've
been gone for 14 days. That's how you give your two week notice. Unless
of course burning the bridge might not be in your best interest.
If you are considering using them as a reference for future
employment possiblities in which case you might be even more self
serving by lying and blowing pink air in their buttholes. Give a
two weeks notice in a resignation letter telling them that you truly
appreciate the wonderful opportunity they have provided, and for giving
you a chance to grow not only as an employee but also as a human being,
and you will always feel like a part of "their" family. They will
probably have a going away party for you.
Or if you really hate the place and feel underappreciated you
could go in one day and sabotage the place, steal office supplies,
corrupt computer files, change addresses, piss off customers, tell your
bosses if they don't like it they can suck the greases from your bung
hole, and get yourself fired.
Ultimately it's your decision to make.
Col. Sphinx Drummond
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hattan@fastlane.net (John Hattan)
A couple of years ago, I was in the unique position of having to get
myself fired. I had sold my employer some software I had written at
home (payable in 12 monthly installments). The acquisition deal stated
that they had no obligation to pay off my contract if I quit. About
seven months into the job, they told me they were selling my software
and shuffling me to another department. They seemed smug when they told
me that I would void my contract if I quit. At that point, I decided
that they were going to fire me.
scary thing is. . .it took me six weeks to get fired! I started working
three-hour days, playing computer _Risk_ for the three hours I was
there. I played Iggy Pop CD's in my cubicle. I stopped going to the
staff meetings, and I invited myself to meetings I wasn't supposed to
attend. I convinced other employees to go to the mall with me during
work hours. I was the worst friggin' employee anyone could hope to
have, AND THEY STILL WOULDN'T FIRE ME!
I was close to testing out the company's anti-drug policy (perhaps
smoking a joint in the CEO's office), when I got a phone call from my
supervisor. He took me into his office, handed me a check for the
remains of my contract, and assured me that I wasn't getting fired. They
had just decided to re-think the contract. Pink bastards.
To top it all off, this week I am buying back the software I sold to
them FOR 1/12 OF MY SELLING PRICE! How's that for Slack!
All of my resignation notices have taken the form of. . .
As of <date 5 days from now>, I will be leaving the employ of <company>.
Please make all of the necessary arrangements.
That format seems to piss them off just fine.
---
John Hattan High Popeness for life of the First Church of Shatnerology
The Code Zone Sweet Software for a Saturnine World
hattan@fastlane.net Pbatenghyngvbaf, lbh xabj ubj gb hfr ebg guvegrra!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: cuthulu@unicomp.net (Kevan Smith)
Sphinx1@ix.netcom.com (Sphinx Drummond) wrote:
> Never forget if you were getting fired, the only notice you
>would get is how to find the exit. You owe those bastards nuthin'. They
>pay you for your time, you do them the a favor by showing up and
>providing something they value. They don't pay until you've accumulated
>time and they owe you.
And when the do fire you, they always do it in two's -- the
latest trend -- two managers to fire you. I've taken to carrying a
concealed tape record. The record me through my phone (and think I
don't know it, but I talked to the guy who installed the system), so a
little turnabout is fair play.
Give a
>two weeks notice in a resignation letter telling them that you truly
>appreciate the wonderful opportunity they have provided, and for giving
>you a chance to grow not only as an employee but also as a human being,
>and you will always feel like a part of "their" family. They will
>probably have a going away party for you.
They'll be happy to see me go, but I am gonna write a letter similar
to that, except at the end I'm gonna say something like, "nothing in
this letter should be construed to mean that I waive any and all
rights to legal redress." The final scare.
> Or if you really hate the place and feel underappreciated you
>could go in one day and sabotage the place, steal office supplies,
>corrupt computer files, change addresses, piss off customers, tell your
>bosses if they don't like it they can suck the greases from your bung
>hole, and get yourself fired.
I don't give a flying pink head about whether they "appreciate" me or
not, I just want a fair wage. They can blow their touchy-feely
blowholes all day, but I'm there for the dough -- period. Work steals
Slack. And I can't do any of that other stuff, because where I work (a
bank) sneezing is practically a felony.
Radar Labs 23
It's a squirtin' universe
8======)~~~
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com (MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM)
Call in:
"Hi. I'm too tired to come to work today . . . so I quit. <click>"
The trick is to time the ". . ." so they're _just_ drawing in breath to
chew you out.
-Monty
--
It will make me very happy if somebody actually uses this. I've been
trying to foist it on people for two years.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: me92idc@brunel.ac.uk (Iain Cunningham)
Oh yea! On 25 Mar 1995 16:41:47 GMT Sphinx Drummond wrote thus:
[Snip]
: Or if you really hate the place and feel underappreciated you
: could go in one day and sabotage the place, steal office supplies,
: corrupt computer files, change addresses, piss off customers, tell your
: bosses if they don't like it they can suck the greases from your bung
: hole, and get yourself fired.
You mean that you don't do that anyway?
Oooops.
Mr C
--
----|----\ /----\ Iain's three little rules for a good life: (1) Never
| | do anything less than what you believe to be right.
| | (2) In doing (1) don't stop anyone else doing it too.
----|----/ \----/ (3) Apply rules (1) & (2) to every situation you are in.
Original file name: Quitting Your Job 4 Bob
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