A Funny Series of Angry Letters re: SUbSITE to Noah Stewart

>X-POP3-Rcpt: nstewart@snoopy
>From: ---
> To: "Noah Stewart" <nstewart@ccia.st-thomas.on.ca
> Subject: Re:
>Date: Sat, 2 Nov 1996 21:38:44 -0500
>X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
>X-Priority: 3
>MIME-Version: 1.0

>Dear Rev. (?) Noah Stewart

>Obviously you are not a bona fide member of any clergy. Otherwise, you would not write to my thirteeen year old daughter in the manner and tone demonstrated in your e-mail reply dated 11/1/96. The real question I have is whether you are an adult. I did not see the website or page to which she took offense, but by your own admission it stated "YOU MAY HAVE THE BOB VIRUS JUST FROM READING THIS MESSAGE." Now what did you expect? Of course she was alarmed. Even if you do not agree that her fears are justified, you should be ashamed of yourself for accepting criticism so poorly by responding in such a condescending, arrogant and discourteous tone. I've intercepted your nasty response in time to delete it before she sees it.

>--, Ethics Counsel
>Virginia State Bar

>>From: Noah Stewart <nstewart@ccia.st-thomas.on.ca
> To: --
>>Date: Friday, November 01, 1996 11:45 PM

>>>Dear sir or madam,
>>>I happened to be going on the internet when I stumbled among this page. I found it quite offensive, and threating to shut down people's hardrive (which means you would have to send an illegal virus) is no joking
>>>This material is not only cruel and disgusting, but you are making a
>>>and I am afraid
>>>that you could get in serious trouble for this. And you signed yourself "Rev. Noah"
>>>therefore implying that you were a Reverend which you obvously are not. Decent people
>>>do not joke about being a officer of a church. It is offending many
>>>seriously suggest changing this homepage.


>>I've written and aided in the design of many web sites: commercial, subgenius, and private, so I'm afraid that I'm not all together certain which you are referring to. What it sounds like to me is that you're talking about the SubGenius page leading into the Funhouse, where the programs are stored. I did not write this page (although I did write
>>of the programs stored on it). There were problems in the past whenst
>>message said that virus installation was successful, so it was changed to say that it was not successful. I am sorry that you know so little about the internet that this frightened you. It was simply text on the screen like this:


>>Secondly, in regards to my ordainment as a SubGenius minister, it is NOT
>>JOKE; it's more real than your so-called life. Perhaps in your opinion,
>>am not decent...that's YOUR opinion. But I take my priesthood quite seriously; it's the life I've chosen and I wouldn't give it up for all
>>Christmas trees in America! I am indeed an officer of the Church; a
>>of "Bob"; a praying mantis of slack! I don't know what cereal box you
>>your theological beliefs from, but I suggest you empty the box into a
>>bowl, pour a litre of milk on, and shovel large spoonfuls of frosted candy-cereal into your mouth whilst watching cartoons...that may aide you discovering what is really important: it isn't ALWAYS the toy inside that's the best part.

>>If you are commenting on my own special homepage, it is already perfect
>>any changes would be mere additions to the mind-oozing karmic
>>that already live there.

>>I suggest sitting awhile in the dark, no food, no 'toys', just you, yourself, and your mind. You can then contemplate your existance and
>>role in society. Then you can BUST OUT of that role! REPENT! QUIT YOUR JOB! SLACK OFF!!!

>>Rev. Noah J. Stewart
>>Church of the Befuddled Biped

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Original file name: Angry Pink Letter to Noah

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