What's in a Name?

From: Jim the Prophet

It shows what a great gulf is fixed between the species. How can a
mereHume comprehend the FUTILITY?

The common schooolyard insults: "You stink" "You're ugly" "Fag" -- What
terrors OR EVEN DISCOMFORTS do they hold for the SubGenius? They're so
PATHETICALLY INADEQUATE they're not even funny.

The male SubGenius's beau ideal of female physical beauty is a seven-foot
tall three-hundred ninety pound ABOMINABLE SNOWWOMAN covered in long hair
smeared with RANCID YAK-GREASE. I'm from Florida -- full-blooded wild
Yetikin down here are called SKUNK APES -- FOR GOOD REASON! We don't have
yaks -- we have road-killed armadillo fat and GATOR TALLOW!

What Uberfemmes lust after is EVEN SCARIER. And smells A LOT WORSE.

And "fag"? Listen, after you've been poop-chuted by "Bob", gang rape in a
federal penitentiary is a PLEASANT REST. Being the "beloved disciple" in
this releigion means HEAVY INVESTMENT in KY Petroleum Jelly.

Connie? Ogodogodogodogodogod. No more! Not again! The dreams! The dreams!

Stupid? Duplicitous? Liar? Cheat? Swindler? "Bob" is all that and FAR, FAR
MORE -- hey, do you want a high epopt who PLAYS FAIR? Well, all I can say
is, "Sorry about your celestial market-share, bub. I'VE GOT AN EXCUSE!"

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