Movies that SHIT slack

Date: 12 Aug 1995
From: Brother Cleve <bcleve@tiac.net>

Did they ever show "The Erotic Adventures of Pinnocchio", werein the
horny puppet's 'woody' was his nose, out of which blew the most
hellacios green jim ever seen this side of Sternodox (Actually, it might
have been splinters.) Could have made an exciting double bill.

Brother Cleve - roving emmissionary

----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: sphinx1@ix.netcom.com (Elbert Drubber )

I know a guy who has a dupe of the infamous Bugs Bunny "Groupie"
Video. He also has copies of the Mickey, Minnie and Donald (in a menage
a trois) video as well as Gumby Going Down On Pokey. I tried to JACK
OFF to these videos but I just couldn't get into it. I prefer cartoons
of real people, like Josie and the Pussycats or Daphnie on Scooby
Doobie Doo.

-Saggy Britches

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)

testa@starbase.neosoft.com (Andrew J. Testa) writes:
> The movies you NEED to see

[Trap Them And Kill Them]

>I don't believe I will ever have as Slackful a movie watching experience,
>unless my wife and her friends ever give in, that is.

Has anyone ever seen "WR: The Mysteries Of The Organism"? This one
squats toadlike in my memory. It was on at an arthouse cinema in the
middle of the day. I had no idea what I was about to see.

Well, the first thing I saw was a load of ice cream commercials from
the late 60s featuring a bunch of hippies driving round greek ruins
in a white jeep, licking their cones until they couldn't take no
more. 2 shillings and sixpence a tub - in the lobby NOW!

The film is (ostensibly) about the theories of Willhelm Reich. It
starts off with totally stark nudd people rubbing eggs into each
other. Later you get rooms full of stark nudd people screaming their
heads off in the throes of Reichian therapy. There's a guy dressed in
a tin helmet marching up and down American city streets for no
apparent reason who later on has his ERECT MEMBER (and its still
illegal to show this on cinema screens, at least in Britain) utilized
to create a candle mould. Things go totally off the rails, and I
can't remember more than a few scraps - I remember a spurned lover
having her head chopped off, which someone then carries around on a
silver plate. It wakes up a bit later and starts singing a mournful
Russian ballad, a very operatic piece of entertainment. A discussion
and demonstration of orgone boxes. A tank crashing through walls in
the midst of some kind of revolution - people hiding out and singing
and running through forests and I don't know what. This movie CONFUSED
me.

I don't think my description is doing it justice. Suffice to say that
I highly recommend it. Apparently they showed on TV a couple of years
back in Channel Four's "BANNED" season (British TV seems fond of
having "themed" weeks: both BBC2 and C4 have had seasons of things
that were censored once upon a time so we can see all the things that
used to be regarded as "morally rotting" - Channel 4's "Pot Night" was
great to see all the anti-marijuana propoganda that has been put
forward through the ages & I'm looking forward to their "Sci-Fi"
weekend so I can see "Zardoz" and that film where Godzilla takes on
the monster from the secret civilization under Easter Island
again). ANYWAY, for the parts featuring ERECTILE TISSUE and other
naughties (god knows how the cinema got to show an uncensored cut)
they consulted the director who advised them to conceal those "parts"
by pasting goldfish over the top, creating a kind of "fish tank"
effect. The film couldn't have been any stranger for it.

Mr Pete

--
----------------------------------------
"Representing the position of the Buddha appears to require (at least)
a five-valued logic" - Priest and Routley, Paraconsistent Logic
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: testa@starbase.neosoft.com (Andrew J. Testa)

UeberFemme TarlaStar took me to task thusly:

* Andy, darlin' it's a coprolyte that's a fossilzed turd. (I wish to
* "Bob" that your e-mail address worked!)

Tarla, I KNEW that if you responded to this AT ALL, it would be in regard
to my use of the word "coprophyte," which I didn't realize I was fucking
up, because of your (educational) intimacy with the "leavings" of our
remote ancestors. I only wish it hadn't been to SLAP ME DOWN!

Okay, I stand corrected. BUT, as I grabbed my dictionary to figure out
my -phyte from my -lyte, I had a Dobbs-inspired epiphany. Among its other
definitions, -phyte indicates a pathological growth. So, a COPROPHYTE would
indicate a pathological growth ON your shit, or a pathological growth OF
shit. So I guess a fossilized turd with a monstrous growth would be a
COPROPHYTILITE.

It also told me that -LITE is proper for fossils (coprolite) while -lyte
indicates decomposition, as in a "hydrolyte" decomposes in water, so I
guess a coprolyte would decompose in shit. DAMN but words be fun.

So then, a fossilized wad of semen of the back of the seat in front of
you would be a seminalite (seminal- relating to sperm, and -lite a fossil).

As for e-mail: IT'S IN THE SIG! DON'T NOBODY READ MY SIG?!?
Criminy, no WONDER I never get any mail...

--
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
/ Xenu stole my lunch money \
/ Andy Testa (KoX - SP4) $ee $ecret $cientology $cripture at \
\ testa@hou.moc.com http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Fishman/ /
\ Declared "institutional case" - Koos Nolst Trenite May '95 /
\____________________________________________________________________/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: eraserhead@iglou.iglou.com (David Lynch)

Big 58 recently showed "Can't Stop The Music", which is the story of the
Village People. It stars Steve Gutenberg as the intrepid DJ who brings
the disco masters together and makes them stars. They wear their costumes
everywhere and never reveal their real names, except for Felipe the
Indian. I was surprised to learn that the Village People weren't gay at
all, except possibly for the leatherman. I also learned that the band got
its name from Greenwich Village, which is where all the band members
lived. I honestly though it had something to do with the phrase "village
idiots". Admittedly, "Can't Stop The Music" is not a Slack-shitting
movie, but it burns when it pees.

--
eraserhead@iglou.com \ Not the famous director \ Fuck Exon
Soap and odd tape trades welcome \ Mutation not evolution

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jack Nutting

petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell) wrote:
> Has anyone ever seen "WR: The Mysteries Of The Organism"? This one
> squats toadlike in my memory. It was on at an arthouse cinema in the
> middle of the day. I had no idea what I was about to see.

Well, I haven't seen this one, but the director is named Makavejev (sp?),
first name possibly Dusev? Anyway, I saw another film of his from the same time period called "Sweet Movie". Memorable scenes include people peeing on the dinner table, then pooping on plates and celebrating the droppings.

Also featured are some people traveling on a boat on a river through a
populated urban area, who have a bed full of sugar on the boat, and kill
people. At the end of the movie, a nekkid woman is covered with liquid
chocolate for a commercial. A must see. I saw it in a "Film Comedy" class
in college. That prof was damned twisted, praise be.

I also saw another film of Makavejev's called "The Gorilla Bathes at Noon",
but it was not nearly as entertaining or even memorable.

---
/* Jack Nutting Integrity Solutions *
* jnutting@is.com (612)223-8474 *
* <http://www.is.com/Users/jnutting/subg.html> */

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Biggles <biggles1@delphi.com>

One of my favorite movies is "Over the Edge". The central
theme is that drug use and vandalism by high school kids is not
only fun but morally correct, and that the immoral people are
the parents who try and stop them!

Rent it and watch for Claude tripping during the anti-vandalism
scene. How he was passed up for some sort of award is beyond
me.

-- Pope-King Biggles I

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO)

Nenslo whines:
Why don't you people ever LISTEN to me? I said it before, now
just listen very carefully, it's real simple...

ROLL FREDDY ROLL starring Tim Conway. He's a divorced computer
programmer whose ex-wife (Ruta Lee) is marrying the local TV Used-Car
Dealer (Jan Murray). Fearing that Murray will win away from him the love
of his son (the damn kid who played Earl J. Wagadorn on "Julia") Tim
decides to break the Guinness Book of World Records record for longest
time spent on ROLLER SKATES. Just imagine how funny that could be. Go
on, imagine.

Actually, a movie called TERROR IN THE JUNGLE is kind of Totally
Insane because it's a three-country production (I forget which three)
which also changes DIRECTORS three times, each time taking the movie off
into another even stupider direction.

Oh yeah, don't forget DUNDERKLUMPEN. Just see it. In the
children's section.

GALACTIC GIGOLO, for its Orthodox Jewish Hillbillies and World's
Greatest Cussing Scene (introduces the word "Bill" into the realm of
profanity, as in "Jesus Bill Damn")

And if I knew the name of the Southern European porn movie Master
Teacher Torger and I saw one night, which consists of the naughty dreams
of a cute little nun and deliberately blasphemes every major catholic
ritual in a full-contact hardcore pornographic manner I'd sure tell you
what it was.

CREEPING TERROR

THE DEVIL WITH HITLER

WILD PLANET

that ought to hold the little bastards,
Uncle Nenslo
--
-Copyright NENSLO KDV 1995-
Send One Dollar to box 86582 Portland OR 97286
TOTAL RETROACTIVE UNIVERSAL EXTERMINATION

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: gunther@bga.com (Joe Newman)

Does anyone have a copy of Skidoo? It has a nad-stomping cast,
including Groucho Marx, Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Frank
Gorshin, Caesar Romero, and Burgess Meredith. Supposedly Groucho
and Jackie Gleason drop acid. I want this fucking movie. If anyone
has a copy, email me and I'll try to find something to offer in
trade to make it worth your while.

-Pappy Fuck

Back to document index

Original file name: Movies that SHIT slack

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.