COMMENT MADE BY SOME MIT EGGHEAD ON "ARISE!":
"The Church of the SubGenius cannot be corrupted, because it
couldn't be more corrupt."
The word "corrupt" is defined in the dictionary next to my couch
as "deteriorated from the normal or standard; specifically, (a)
morally unsound or debased; peverted; evil; depraved; (b) taking
bribes; (c) containing alterations, foreign admixtures, or errors;
said of languages, texts, etc."
The Church insists that each member construct his or her own
mythos and liturgy, if she/he hasn't already. The Church states
that any and all existing Church liturgy (which includes anything
said by any SubGenius anywhere) can be contradicted, rewritten,
and/or ignored. IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE TABLETS!
Commandment 1: The rest of these Commandments are bullshit.
Commandment 2: Commandment 1 is nonsense.
Commandment 3: See Commandment 3.
Commandment 4: Don't break commandment 5.
Commandment 5: Don't read commandment 4.
Commandment 6: Commandment 2 is especially bullshit.
Commandment 7: See Commandment 3 again. Who told you to stop?
Commandment 8: Commandments 2 and 5 are to be reversed.
Commandment 9: Write Commandment 10.
"Deteriorated from the normal or standard"... absolutely! The very
existence of the Church of the SubGenius would be unnecessary
without the existence of "Norm" and "Stan", because everyone would
be a member! No one would need to lose their Slack wondering when
the next $1 was coming in, because they would be in charge of the
Treasury, and there wouldn't even BE a Treasury, because
everything would be of infinite value, or at least of different
values to different people, and giving things away for NOTHING
would be inherently valuable, and... well, you get the idea. A
deterioration from the normal or standard would be a blessing...
and blessings are what Churches are for!
And, as for the "morally unsound or debased" part, well... it all
depends on what part of the body one is applying the polished
stone to, isn't it? "Morals" are seperatized from "ethics" by
H.A.R.L.I.E. in the book "When HARLIE Was One", by David Gerrold.
Ethics are rules that maximize the efficiency and well-being of
every member of a group, like "Do unto other as you would have
then do of you" (variations of which appear in every major
religion/philosophy in history). Morals are localized social
barriers instilled in the masses by those in a position to
benefit. Most of the shit stacked upon us by the fundamentalist
Christians in this country, for instance. Morals are what make
saying the word "abortion" on the 'net illegal. As I said
before... any departure from the 'norm' sounds like a GREAT idea.
"Taking bribes"? Well, we all paid somewhere between $20 and $30
to be High Priest(esse)s, and some of us, in a sense, are still
However, there's another typical aspect of corruption that is more
connotational than denotational, but it's one that I think needs
to be mentioned: the fact that, in most cases, corruption leads to
hypocrisy through concealment. That is, the corruption of a
popular figure or organization goes on in secret while the
damnation of the same behavior is practiced in public. The Church
of the SubGenius has eliminated that practice. We fully and openly
admit our corruption. We will do it anywhere, anytime, with
anything you can fit into the work area, and we don't care who
knows it. We don't cry about it on national television, and we
don't make excuses for it, save one... WE DID IT 'CAUSE WE COULD.
The Church of the SubGenius was designed to self-corrupt from the
very second of creation. Look at the 1980-written Pamphlet #1: a
morass of over-the-top impropaganda and intercombinant logoisms.
Look at the Book of the SubGenius: a somewhat cheesy but cohesive
tome. Look at Revelation X: a polished, coherent and "mature" book
of thought. It reads like a totally different church, and if that
isn't a sign of corruption, I don't know what is.
the Grand Clavister
THE GRAND CLAVISTER OF NYC (AND POINTS BEYOND) NEEDS YOUR KEYS!
SEND AN SASE, $1 OR [PREFERABLY] KEYS TO FIND OUT WHY! SEND ALL
THE STUFF TO: O.L.I.N.Y.K., PO BOX 2559, GRAND CENTRAL STATION,
NEW YORK, NY 10163-2559. THE FUTURE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT!
"SAY FUCK FOR BABY JESUS!" - Rev. Nickie, alt.slack
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Original file name: ON THE CORRUPTION OF THE CHÉ
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