STANG ON AOL 11-12-95

10/4/95 9:57:00 PM Opening "Chat Log 10/4/95" for recording.

Rattman21 : (2) How long?

MPaul44210 : (2) just about 2 years

Rattman21 : (2) About the same time I got married.

MPaul44210 : (2) congratulations

Misty XII : (2) Rev Stang, shouldn't you be on stage?

SubGStang1 : Huh? What? Sorry... I was sound asleep.

CJ GreyMan : $Hi there! Use a dollar sign and the audience will be
in the dark. :)

OnlineHost : Copyright 1995 America Online, Inc.

CJ Ellen : $Hiya :)

SubGStang1 : $Okay, am I here yet?

CJ Ellen : $Charlie, I'll leave you to it

CJ GreyMan : $you wanna go back to the audience, Ellen?

CJ Ellen : $Where? :)

CJ Ellen : $Yes. I'd rather be a master than the slave ;)

SubGStang1 : $Am I in the right place, y'all?

CJ GreyMan : $Hi! My name is Charlie and we'll do whatever you
like. :)

CJ GreyMan : $You are in precisely the right place.

SubGStang1 : $Okay... fire away.

CJ GreyMan : Hello everyone and welcome to the Bowl with the Internet Connection! Tonight our guest the the Reverend Ivan Stang of the Church of the Subgenius.

OnlineHost : The auditorium consists of two major areas: the audience, where you are right now, and the stage, where the speakers appear. Text which you type onscreen shows only to those in your row, prefaced by the row number in parentheses, such as (2) if you are in row 2. To interact with the speaker,
use the Interact icon on your screen.


CJ GreyMan : $do you want to rant for a while or do you want to
deal with questions?

SubGStang1 : Oh, heave some questions at me... I'll rant from
there. If I get peeved enough. Or SLack enough, as the case may be

CJ GreyMan : LunarLime asks...

Question : How can I make the power of the fingtn' jesus work
for me?

SubGStang1 : You meen the Fightin' Jesus? Well, that depends on
your level of donations to the Church of the SubGenius.

Comment : PRAISE BOB!

SubGStang1 : "Bob" Dobbs, our High Epopt, is tight with that guy.
It ain't what you kinow but who you know.
You CAN buy your way into Heaven IF you have enough money.
OR, with Slack, you can cheat your way in.

SubGStang1 : What we're selling by mail and giving away for free
by Web is Slack. Slack through knowledge of "Bob" Dobbs.

CJ GreyMan : Speaking of the Web, GSubG13er writes...

Question : Stang! Who designed those wiggy web pages of yours?
The COLORS...ooh...

SubGStang1 : Plus all the keen pornological irritainment we
provide. I did most of the layout myself. The colors are
actually caused by the VIRUS we infect you with when
you visit the website. The virus doesn't affect JUST
your computer. Rev. David McConville, the WhizKid at Sunsite,
did the fancier interactive programming, like the Online Short
Duration Marriage Ceremony. Some complain that the SubSITE is
TOO psychedelic.

SubGStang1 : *subgenius*

CJ GreyMan : ERISAND59 adds...


SubGStang1 : *subgenius*

CJ GreyMan : $do you have that? If you don't, we'll move on.

SubGStang1 : Hey, every time I try to type the website address, it
comes out only saying *subgenius*

SubGStang1 : *subgenius*

SubGStang1 : It did it again.

CJ GreyMan : Oh dear... I forgot. That's a problem that has
recently cropped up with AOL. We'll make

SubGStang1 : AOL is censoring my blatant self endorsements, AIEEE!

CJ GreyMan : sure to publish the web site over in the Internet
Connection, and in the transcript here.

Question : Who is DOBBS?

SubGStang1 : And there's always alt.slack, the evil SubGenius

SubGStang1 : DON'T be fooled by clever imitations.

CJ GreyMan : MPaul4421 asks...

Comment : Mr Stang, could you please give me some info. on
yeti? It is needed for my anthropology class.

SubGStang1 : *subgen.*

SubGStang1 : htm

SubGStang1 : The SubGeniuses of today are not fully human, but are
mixed-blood descendents of the Tibetan Yeti
or "Bigfoot" (which we consider an insulting term.).
We are "Yetinsyny."

SubGStang1 : You can usually spot us by our weird, seemingly
depraved senses of humor.

CJ GreyMan : $Perhaps if you replace all slashes in the web
address with exclamation points?

CJ GreyMan : $I'm sorry about this. It just started the other day.

SubGStang1 : That's SUBSITE at http:!!!subgenius

CJ GreyMan : Replace all exclamation points with slashes and
you're there!

SubGStang1 : *subgen.htm*

SubGStang1 :!subgenradio!subgen.htm -- that's the URL
of the real-time SubGenius radio site.

Question : Reverend Stang, I suspect that my boyfriend may be a
PinkBoy. How can I tell if he is, and what should I do if it's true?

SubGStang1 : You know, I think URLs look BETTER with exclamation
points. More exciting, somehow.

CJ GreyMan : Misty XII wrote that last, by the way.

SubGStang1 : If he tends to be afraid of everything weird and (at
first) sickening, or otherwise REALLY FUN,

CJ GreyMan : $By the way, my wife says hello. You signed her ass
on two separate occasions up at Starwood.

SubGStang1 : he MIGHT be a mere human, a Mediocretin, a Ken, a
cage dweller. In that case, USE HIM but do NOT breed with him.

SubGStang1 : That redhead babe was YOUR WIFE??? Man, I'd be proud
to draw another sunset on THOSE canvases.

SubGStang1 : Oops, I forgot the dollar signs. Secret backstage code, folks.
CJ GreyMan : Yikes... moving on....

Question : Is Dobbs dead?

SubGStang1 : Dobbs is the living undead. He's barred from both
Heaven and Hell, so he can't be kille...... for long.
You too can be banned even from Hell, if you're BAD
enough. As Dobbs said, "Too much is always better than not

SubGStang1 : It sounds like it's all saved SUbGenii here. I don't
want to preach to the saved... aren't there some disgruntled
Christians or Moonies out there?

CJ GreyMan : Hmm, I'm hunting for questions from those folks, but
don't seem to be finding any.

CJ GreyMan : Bobby53 asks...

Question : Where is 'Bob' right now?

SubGStang1 : Hey, I downloaded a simple V.R. program today called
Vitrus VR the demo has a VR walk-through of the Branch Davidian
complex. We're studying the architecture to get ideas for our
cult compound at Dobbstown. Only we're gonna have better

CJ GreyMan : DG995 writes....

Question : What kind of "church" do you have?

SubGStang1 : Bobby53, "Bob" Dobbs is, according to the latest
report, in the alley behind... my god... YOUR HOUSE, fishing for
garbage! Who knows what weird experiment he has in mind.
I hope it isn't anything sexual.

CJ GreyMan : And Rippeffec asks...

Question : What is the Church of Sub Genius???

SubGStang1 : The Church is a ultimate disorganized religion for
non-joiners, mutants, misfits, disbelievers or those who will
believe anything. "Bob" comes not to die for your sins, but to
JUSTIFY your sins... he brings not forgiveness but a great EXCUSE.

CJ GreyMan : $I've got a "how can you say you have to give money
to know Jesus" question. Do you

SubGStang1 : He brings ETERNAL SALVATION, or TRIPLE your money
back. No other One True Religion makes this offer.

CJ GreyMan : $want it? Remember the dollar sign.

SubGStang1 : $YES!

CJ GreyMan : DG995 asks...

Question : How can you say you have to give monetarily to know

SubGStang1 : We're not saying that. Jesus is free, I guess. But
"Bob" is not quite as well-connected as Jesus, and he needs
to know you love him by seeing you sacrifice that which
is most dear -- your $$. We're selling "Bob," not Jesus. However,
"Bob" IS good drinkin' buddies with the Fightin'
opposed to the namby pamby, mealy-mouth, busybody
schoolmarm Jesus, if you get my drift. We recognize many
gods and demons in this Church. We do BUSINESS with them.
Some are competitors. We're trying to catch up to the
Scientologists right now. #2 tries harder.

CJ GreyMan : WolfCaver asks...

Question : Oh high and mighty Stang! Will you ever update High
Weirdness by Mail???

SubGStang1 : We suggest that the seeker study ALL religions, and
pick the Short Duration Personal Savior that fits the needs
of the moment. That wonderful book is being updated all the time
on our web site... look at the Online Stark Fist section, then the
KOOKS LOVE and KOOKS HATE sections in the Halls of Hate and
Bulldada. Again that's http:!!!subgenius

CJ GreyMan : J1MESSIAH has something he wants to tell you Rev....


SubGStang1 : There's also a link to HyperWeirdness by Web, someone
else's spin-off from the High Weirdness book.

SubGStang1 : You think you have problems, I got kicked out of the
Catholic Heaven just for WORKING on that book!

CJ GreyMan : $I don't mean to step on your lines like this. Let me
know when you're done and I won't

SubGStang1 : That fine Simon & Schuster book available at better
bookstores... in the HUMOR section (!?!?)

CJ GreyMan : $pop another question up until then.

SubGStang1 : $done

SubGStang1 : $Keep those questions flying, I can answer 3 at once
if I drink more coffee!

CJ GreyMan : Rev, a lot of folks are wondering if The Stark Fist
is still being published.

SubGStang1 : Again, THE STARK FIST magazine is on the web now,
5,000 pages long, in full color, with videos even... we're saving
up our $$ to PRINT one again. But darn it, electrons are so much
cheaper than paper. Easier to ship, too.

CJ GreyMan : LndSpdRcr wants to know...

Question : Why believe in things that make it tough on you?

SubGStang1 : Ah, a DEVOtee. That's the question we ask. We choose
the Path of Least Resistance and believe only what gives us
Slack! Unfortunately, in my case, Slack seems to mean
endless toil for Dobbs.

CJ GreyMan : And Pauladams asks:

Question : It seems there's an unbeliever in our midsts. Have a
chat with Pauladams1 in row 1.

SubGStang1 : Hey, if any of those chat rooms get real steamy, send
me the log! We'll turn it into an existential play or something.

CJ GreyMan : PercyX asks:

Question : Rev, Bob's image appeared on some bean silos nearby.
Should I be alarmed or is Bob spreading his word in odd ways?

SubGStang1 : BEAN SILOS?? Man, those aren't BEAN SILOS! Those are
TOXIC NERVE GAS MISSILE LAUNCHERS disguised as bean silos.
The Dobbsheads were probably put there by the military to
ward off evil spirits. The Conspiracy is behind everything,
you know. Even the Church of the SubGenius!!

SubGStang1 : Jes' kiddin'.

SubGStang1 : Some Yeti boy probably spray-painted those "Bobs"
there to impress his Yeti grilfriend.

CJ GreyMan : And Kelvin101 comments:

Comment : what redhead?

SubGStang1 : I was refering to an offstage comment secretly made
by CJ Greystoke conserning his wife, Jane.

CJ GreyMan : That wasn't Kelvin's comment, by the way. He
suggested that this religion was for the feebleminded. I
think he must have been referring to me... I lost the comment.

SubGStang1 : He is right, up to a point. The term SubGenius means
anyone UNDER genius level. Sadly, thousands of geniuses are
always trying to sneak into the Church ranks.

SubGStang1 : It's not the intelligence that counts, but the SENSE.
Common sense, sense of humor... and dollars and cents.

SubGStang1 : That gag works better at a live devival on stage than
it does as text, hmmmm...

CJ GreyMan : KVonStub asks:

Question : Rev. Stang...Kojo VonStuben here-- Are you planning
on doing any services at the DragonCon in Atlanta next year?

SubGStang1 : Kelvin is probably a genius. I don't think he'd want
to come to OUR parties. HEH HEH HEH.

SubGStang1 : I think so, although we're also planning to be at
Phenomicon, a smaller but weirder convention in Atlanta...
in April I think.

SubGStang1 : The Dragon Con sermons are currently being played on
I-Wave internet radio, incidentally... Hour of Slack #500.

SubGStang1 : That's at http:!!!subgenradio!subgen.htm

CJ GreyMan : ClarkJazz sez:

Question : this is really slow. what are you guys on?

SubGStang1 : We are ON TIME. Literally, tripping on TIME ITSELF.
Why is it, that when one tries to explain the simple
truths of life, the Normals always think one is on drugs??
This is a sick society.

Question : how should i go about converting others?

SubGStang1 : That depends on how charismatic and good looking you
are, and how rich you are. Most of us just try to live lives of
eye-watering Slack and ecstacy, and let others learn from our

SubGStang1 : "Bob" is the emetic to purge it... the finger down
the throat of life to make it ALL COME UP.

CJ GreyMan : Skarekroe asks:

Question : how is the kool-aid at dobbstown?

SubGStang1 : The kool-aid at Dobbstown is much much faster-acting
than what that amateur, Jim Jones, used. Him and Koresh...
what pikers. We'll show those guys how a REAL cult does it!

CJ GreyMan : $Okay... this is about it. If you want to wind up
with anything, you can do it now. :)

SubGStang1 : I just want people to remember that there really is a
conspiracy of normal people out to steal the Slack of the
That part of it is NO JOKE.

SubGStang1 : One last thing: "BOB" at PO Box 140306, Dallas TX
75214. Send SASE or even better, one evil BUCK.

SubGStang1 : $hey I'll keep going as long as anybody wants.

CJ GreyMan : Thank you REverend for taking the time to speak with

SubGStang1 : $This is fun.

CJ GreyMan : $And I'd love it if you could but we gotta get out of
here. We're 5 minutes over as it is.

SubGStang1 : Visit out website... it has something to offend
everybody. And yet it's the most religious thing in the

CJ GreyMan : Thank all of you who sent questions and comments to
the stage. I'm sorry we couldn't use all of them.

CJ GreyMan : $we'd love to have you back any time you like.

OnlineHost : Copyright 1995 America Online, Inc.

SubGStang1 : $Garsh, thanks. Well, no such thing as no p.r.

CJ GreyMan : $I'm sending you back to the audience now....

SubGStang1 : Copyright 1995 The SUbGenius Foundation

Pauladams1 : (1) I was more amusing than that sap! oh sorry...
YOUR the SAPP! you *are* a sapp....right?

Sapp41575 : (1) Heh. Yeah. Heh. Something happened.

Pauladams1 : (1) is that a half hearted laugh?

Sapp41575 : (1) Yup I'm trying to be polite

SubGStang1 : (1) S.A.P.: "SELF AMUSING PERSONALITY." Another term
for a SubGenius.

Pauladams1 : (1) H

Pauladams1 : (1) that's a eighth hearted laugh

Sapp41575 : (1) Ok man.

SubGStang1 : (1) I'm gonna go elsewhere and see who else is
badmouthing me. This is fun.

Pauladams1 : (1) Man?

Sapp41575 : (1) Wait

Pauladams1 : (1) Man?

Sapp41575 : (1) Where can I get the book?

Pauladams1 : (1) I"m a lesbian traped in a mans body. I like girls

Sapp41575 : (1) Geez.

Pauladams1 : (1) H's

Pauladams1 : (1) eighjez

Sapp41575 : (1) Damn. I didn't think people could be so corny.

Pauladams1 : (1) Corny? I gotta Pea

Pauladams1 : (1) hehehe...

Pauladams1 : (1) (full heared laugh)

Sapp41575 : (1) ok. that's enough. goodbye

Pauladams1 : (1) bye....

Pauladams1 : (1) hehehehe

PMX : (2) f..k you if you cant take a joke

Misty XII : (2) whos said subgenius aint legal?

Skarekroe : (2) not legally a minister i mean. you're not tax
deductable as a subgenius reverend.

Misty XII : (2) NO salesperson may leave the floor without the
permission of a superior. The mgmt

SubGStang1 : (2) That doesn't sound like good clean laughter to
me, kids.

Misty XII : (2) dont pee yourself Ska!

Skarekroe : (2) too late. damn.

Misty XII : (2) Hey Rev, I'm gonna use my boyfriend for a few
weeks more but then he's gone. Thanks

Skarekroe : (2) we were discussing the merits of being a legal
universal life church reverend. what do you think?

Misty XII : (2) At least we were before Ska wet himself

SubGStang1 : (2) I'm Universal Life Church reverend too. Just in
case the state won't accept my SubGenius ministership
at weddings. I've done 5 legal SubG weddings now, though.

SubGStang1 : (2) Got paid $200 each the last 2 times.

MKim777 : (1) hello everyone is anybody at this place

Skarekroe : (2) bastard! i knew it was too good to be true.
wait, it says he's still in this row...

Misty XII : (2) he's back

Misty XII : (2) Hey Rev, can you marry someone in VA?

SubGStang1 : (2) Probably.

Misty XII : (2) cool, can I call you when I need your services?

Skarekroe : (2) do you really want to pay him $200?

Misty XII : (2) Absolutely!

Cennobyte : (2) Hello, I've finally found you, Stang! I figured that as
soon as I found you.

LOSTGuys : (2) how was the chat with stang?

SubGStang1 : (2) If somebody needs to tell or ask me something
important, the email address is

Skarekroe : (2) why don't you ask him?

Misty XII : (2) Ask him yourself LOST

SubGStang1 : (2) I don't use AOL except in emergencies.

Cennobyte : (2) 200 bucks!?!?? The guy wants SLACK, but not THAT

Skarekroe : (2) yeah, it's pricy

Cennobyte : (2) Wait - how can you NOT want that much????

Misty XII : (2) 200 bucks is cheap

Skarekroe : (2) for a wedding? hell, i'll do it for $10!

Misty XII : (2) Yeah but you aint a SUBG REv, are you SSKA

SubGStang1 : (2) $200 is cheap pay for spending a whole weekend
away from home, being FORCED to party with strangers.

Cennobyte : (2) I got suspended from school because I had Bob's
head plastered all over the place....

GSubG13er : (2) Ah...civilization again.

Skarekroe : (2) but it's tax deductable, right?

SubGStang1 : (2) I'd do 'em for my FRIENDS for FREE, but hey, I
have to make a LIVING doing this!

Misty XII : (2) I want a SubGenius Wedding, for 200 bucks it's a
good deal

GSubG13er : (2) Well, hey, Stang, I didn't want to insult you
with such low pay for MY wedding.

SubGStang1 : (2) Cennobyte, you got suspended? I guess that makes
you a martyr.

Skarekroe : (2) cool

Cennobyte : (2) ME??? A martyr? Hmmm.....doesn't sound bad....

Misty XII : (2) Martyrs get all the chicks

SubGStang1 : (2) The wedding price depends on the distance, the
hassle, what else is going on, etc.

Cennobyte : (2) Yeah, I guess that explains it...

SubGStang1 : (2) Actually, we don't encourage people to be martyrs
in this church. We encourage them to be PERSECUTORS.

Cennobyte : (2) I didn't ask for it, Rev, you labeled me!

Misty XII : (2) Persecutors just TAKE all the chicks

SubGStang1 : (2) There you go.

Cennobyte : (2) Yeah, I guess that explains it....

GSubG13er : (2) I quit my job for "Bob." But "Bob" gave me an
INFINITELY BETTER one. Temporary martyrdom, then?

Skarekroe : (2) i tend to persecute myself.

SubGStang1 : (2) What you need to do now, Cennobyte, is suspend

Cennobyte : (2) I do however continue to preach this stuff....

SubGStang1 : (2) I'm wondering if maybe I should quit MY job. I'm
such a hypocrite. But my job is Sacred Scribe!

LOSTGuys : (2) hey stang, there's a book similar to "high
weirdness" by the whole earth cat. people. what

SubGStang1 : (2) That book, FRINGES OF REASON, has reprints from
an article that later BECAME High Weirdness... it's

Cennobyte : (2) I do not however take the name of Reverend....

GSubG13er : (2) Stang, you have the job BECAUSE you're a
hypocrite. Who else could do it?

Cennobyte : (2) But I go by Cthul'hu constantly!! Am I sinning???

Skarekroe : (2) hey cen, what would they do if you took principia
discordia to school?

Cennobyte : (2) I already DID!!!!

LOSTGuys : (2) ah so.

Cennobyte : (2) I got Suspended.

GSubG13er : (2) Too cool, Cennobyte.

Cennobyte : (2) I try.....

SubGStang1 : (2) No, I mean, YOU should suspend THEM.

Skarekroe : (2) you got suspended for revelation x AND principia

LOSTGuys : (2) well, yours is better.

Cennobyte : (2) You know....I shall do your bidding.....

Misty XII : (2) Cennobyte is a regular cultophile

SubGStang1 : (2) Now that you're hypnotized... WHERE'S YOUR $30??

GSubG13er : (2) Suspend them...from ropes?

Cennobyte : (2) I SHALL suspend them!!!!

Skarekroe : (2) bring illuminatus! next time. threes a charm!

GSubG13er : (2) Hey, I ask you this, Stang: I joined when it was
$20. Am I out of the Church's good graces now?

Cennobyte : (2) No....I was thinkin somewhere along the lines of
CHAINS, with fish hooks on the ends....

LOSTGuys : (2) stang, we were just in Dallas as part of an AOL
Lost in America roadtrip. how could i have found...

Cennobyte : (2) Get it? Hyuk, hyuk....

GSubG13er : (2) No, Skarekroe...Cennobyte, bring "Reality is What
You Can Get Away With."

SubGStang1 : (2) I need to get back to digitizing the GWAR concert
videos I shot so I can put them on alt.binaries.slack

Cennobyte : (2) I think I saw that one somewhere....

LOSTGuys : (2) you to interview, if i had thought of it at the
time? are you all in a top-secret batcave?

Skarekroe : (2) yes gsub, i forgot. "bob" connection and all

GSubG13er : (2) All Slack to you, then, Stang.

Skarekroe : (2) have a good life stan

Skarekroe : (2) i mean stang

SubGStang1 : (2) Yeah, I gotta get back to the secret bat-cave. We
have a big skyscraper, but that's just a front. The cool
stuff is all underground.

GSubG13er : (2) Cennobyte, have you read "Reality..."?

Cennobyte : (2) I am now plastering CTHUL'HU SAVES posters all
over my school halls.....

Cennobyte : (2) I haven't READ it....

SubGStang1 : (2) Oh, and that $20 is still good, in fact we
probably owe YOU a magazine.

GSubG13er : (2) You need those C'thulhu for President kits. It's
time for those again.

Skarekroe : (2) i tried to look up subgenius in the dallas
phonebook but it wasn't there.

SubGStang1 : (2) HELL NO, we don't want every poebucker and bobbie
showing up here. Because the white supremacists and the feds
would be right on their heels.

LOSTGuys : (2) bobbie here

Cennobyte : (2) Cthul'hu-head here....

Skarekroe : (2) bobbie there, bobbies flying everywhere

SubGStang1 : (2) Occasionally some poor devil leaves a note taped
to the OUTSIDE of the PO box.

Windeatr : (2) anyone here read any robert anton wilson?

Cennobyte : (2) I'm an absolute Cthul'hu worshipper.....

Cennobyte : (2) Cthul'hu rocks!!!

SubGStang1 : (2) READ any?? Hell, I've had to sit next to the guy
signing books with him! His line is always WAY longer than mine!

GSubG13er : (2) I really feel that "Bob" helped me quit my job
and get my life started. Praise Dobbs.

LOSTGuys : (2) anybody read any "lost in america" tee-hee

Skarekroe : (2) ia shub niggurath! black goat of the woods with a
thousand young!

SubGStang1 : (2) Hey, watch what you're invokin', kid!!

Misty XII : (2) yikes!

Skarekroe : (2) i know what i'm doing dammit!

SubGStang1 : (2) Whatever you do, DON'T OPEN THAT TRAP DOOR!

Misty XII : (2) I dont think theres room in here for that!

Cennobyte : (2) Yes, praise Dobbs, but

GSubG13er : (2) Oh great, next we'll get Shub-Internet. This we
don't need.

GSubG13er : (2) NO, CENNOBYTE! Every time you say something
that's never been said before, you invoke a new

SubGStang1 : (2) Yuggoth... nheeghee... fugazi... kreegah...

GSubG13er : (2) Babies are the WORST cause of this!

Cennobyte : (2) Aaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!! Get off my throat!!!

Cennobyte : (2) Vile being!!!

Skarekroe : (2) es gibt ein leben nach tsathoggua

Cennobyte : (2) MakkiWakkiFakkiDakki! Nyek!!

SubGStang1 : (2) This is starting to sound like an all too typical
SubGenius chat line.

Cennobyte : (2) Now THOSE are good words to live by...

Misty XII : (2) This really sucks, somebody get rid of thes
demons, there stinkin the place up!

Skarekroe : (2) it's starting to sound like the voices in my

SubGStang1 : (2) Do you people ever check out alt.slack? You can
actually express a sustained thought there.

Cennobyte : (2) Okay...get out demons....

GSubG13er : (2) (spraying demon-off)

Cennobyte : (2) Demonic Raisins, I REBUKE YOU!!!!!

Misty XII : (2) lemon scented demon-off?

Skarekroe : (2) yeah, i remember a post about average penis
length on alt.slack

GSubG13er : (2) No, the citronella scent.

Misty XII : (2) ahh

Misty XII : (2) I'm not sure what a sustained though is

SubGStang1 : (2) The average MIDDLE penis of a SubGenius is
generally regular-sized. It's the OUTER penii that grow
really huge. And they all have teeny little penii growing
off of them like French ticklers.

LOSTGuys : (2) how's life with gwar? too wholesome?

Misty XII : (2) those are the fun ones!

GSubG13er : (2) Oh jeez, I must go. Slack to you all. Praise
"Bob." Stang, Revelation X is THE SHIT. Nighto, all.

Cennobyte : (2) My brother once swallowed a whole quart of

Misty XII : (2) *goodnite*

Skarekroe : (2) noght gsub

Skarekroe : (2) agh, typos!

SubGStang1 : (2) Hey listen up you people, AOL is a rip-off. Buy a
book like INTERNET STARTER KIT and do it for $15 a month
UNLIMITED TIME like the real Doktors do.

LOSTGuys : (2) too right! fight the power

Cennobyte : (2) AOL IS a ripoff....

GSubG13er : (2) Wait! Before I there any IRC channel you
hang out on ever, Stang?

Misty XII : (2) we know Rev,

Cennobyte : (2) I'm getting it for free....

SubGStang1 : (2) Everything works better, cheaper.

Skarekroe : (2) are you actually trying to tell us how to SAVE
money, stang?

Misty XII : (2) Free AOL beats cheap internet

SubGStang1 : (2) I don't do much IRC stuff.

GSubG13er : (2) Only to channel the savings to "Bob," of course.

Cennobyte : (2) Boy, this guy is good for EVERYTHING!!!!!!

Skarekroe : (2) i can get onto the internet for free, but it

GSubG13er : (2) Okay okay. Slack goodnight.

SubGStang1 : (2) FREE sucks. $15 a month PPP connection is the way
to go.

Cennobyte : (2) Is this goodbye for the reverend???

Misty XII : (2) I hear and obey!

SubGStang1 : (2) Actually a FREE ISDN line would be PERFECT but...

Cennobyte : (2) YOu leaving??

Skarekroe : (2) mulling it over...

Cennobyte : (2) Mark those words.....I shall FIND this FREE ISDN

Misty XII : (2) and the ISDN shall be FREE!

Misty XII : (2) let it be so

Skarekroe : (2) FREE in the land of the FREE

Cennobyte : (2) Oh yes.....FREEEEEEeeeeee........

SubGStang1 : (2) Whew, I'm going to bed, or back to work on the
sicko videos I'm putting on the web site.

Misty XII : (2) Free at last, Free at last

Cennobyte : (2) (I'm humming soft tunes of slack now)

SubGStang1 : (2) Whichever it is, LET THERE BE SLACK!

Misty XII : (2) thnak god almighty this ISDN is Free at last

Cennobyte : (2) I don't exactly know what they sound like....

Cennobyte : (2) YES!!! LET THERE BE SLACK!!!!

Misty XII : (2) sicko videos rule

Skarekroe : (2) i don't think you can get more slack than being
asleep or being dead. gnight stang.

Cennobyte : (2) JALLEY-HOOLIA!!!!

Tdahlen278 : (1) hell yeah. I think its supposed to get pretty
cold tonight

10/4/95 11:30:11 PM Closing Log file.


10/4/95 9:57:28 PM Opening "Instant Message Log 10/4/95" for recording.

Cennobyte: Come join me in my private room, "The Necronomicon", please!

SubGStang1: Wait just a second, I wanna watch these guys badmouth me in
the other "rows."

Cennobyte: That's always fun...please join me in the room soon!!

EricsGrrl: Don't we have to shoot you now?....(Praise "Bob"!)

SubGStang1: No, you shoot DOBBS, not ME!!!

CJ GreyMan: Thanks a lot. Really, if you want to do this again, you are welcome back just about anytime you like.

SubGStang1: Well, let's set another one up for next week or whatnot.

GSubG13er: Stang! I quit my job and YES I got mondo Slack! I'm webmaster
for a big rich company now! Praise Dobbs!

EricsGrrl: sorry... sometimes I get a little carried away you know...

Cennobyte: You still there? I just want to talk to you in my room
before the AOL guyz kick you out!

SubGStang1: Hey, will you pay me $300 an hour to design web sites?

SubGStang1: Okay. Necronomicon, right?

Cennobyte: Correct.

SubGStang1: Okay, later

CJ GreyMan: I'll ask CJ Ellen to get back with you on that.

Cennobyte: Come to the room, now, Rev.

GSubG13er: Me personally? No. The company? No. They need a graphic
designer, but I think they're gonna hold out for someone a little
more desperate...well, at least desperate for money.

SubGStang1: Okay... I'm fielding dozens of IMs now! AIEE I'm gettin
flooded w/ IMs!!

GSubG13er: ...And we've got a Bouncin' SubG Baby on the way! Due in April! Thanx again for the long-term's worked for over a year now!

CJ GreyMan: You can turn them off if you feel the need. Send an IM addressed to "$im_off" with no quotes. The dollar sign, lower case and underline are all important.

GSubG13er: (well, that and our Con-registered wedding)

CJ GreyMan: Ellen tells me our Sunday night slot is booked up for a few weeks, but you can have any Sunday in January.

Cennobyte: How are the kids doing in there?
I'll have you know that I did no bad-mouthing of you, Rev.

GSubG13er: You can kill ALL IMs, if you want, by sending an IM (with any content) to screen name "$im_off"

GSubG13er: So this is the price of Slack, eh?

SubGStang1: Okay, name a Sunday, any sunday... she can do it by email.

GSubG13er: Hell, Stang, I'll just send you email. Do you read it?

SubGStang1: Yes, I read my email!

CJ GreyMan: Will do. Thanks again!

GSubG13er: Do you manage to respond, though? Hey, I'm not in this to just talk at a wall...(so why do I have my own web site? heh..., who cares. Five tons of Slack to you.

EricsGrrl: <---- started the PRAISE BOB folder in the Religion & Ethics Forum here on A(OBO)L by the way... beware, this place is a pinko den. I feel Normal just IMing you.

SubGStang1: I hardly ever use AOL... alt.slack is the place to be though.

GSubG13er: And your IMs, it seems. Just how many of these things do you have spattered on your screen right now?

SubGStang1: 6... some guy wants me to go to his private room Necronomicon

GSubG13er: Damn, you know, I should have asked what I should name the baby.

GSubG13er: Necronomicon? Boring.

SubGStang1: Rasputin

GSubG13er: Well, should we ALL go to his little room? Give the room name to everyone with an IM on your screen?

SubGStang1: He's in Rosw 2 now.

DharmaCorp: Give me $20 or take my slack

SubGStang1: Wow... that's pretty ZEN! But I must go to beddy-by now.

DharmaCorp: dude ya cursed me

SubGStang1: Oh sorry, meant to bless ya. Easily confused in this Church.

DharmaCorp: hEY YOU SHOULD MAKE ME A HIGH REV I have all the qualifications...

SubGStang1: Sure. Only $30... or PROOF OF GODHOOD.

DharmaCorp: I am a Lama and heretic Yogi

SubGStang1: That's what they all say

DharmaCorp: Hey hey hey... i read your bilaws in your charter... i don't need to pay.

SubGStang1: I have to quit now. My butt is tired.

DharmaCorp: yeah that is what they all say

DharmaCorp: i have been ruptured and have come back

SubGStang1: ...

DharmaCorp: but one thing, do you the meaning the doctrine quizax

SubGStang1: but one thing, do you the meaning the doctrine quizax

10/4/95 11:30:13 PM Closing Log file.

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