THE CAMEL RIDERS

From: chris@sanscrip.com (Chris Salt)
Date: Sat, 11 Nov 1995

petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell) wrote:
>There must be some kind of poetry/doggerel bug going round.

>THE CAMEL RIDERS
>----------------

I showed this to a guy at work and he offered the following:

THE CAMEL RIDERS - Part II

Camel Riders too successful,
All their foes are fled or slain.
Riders growing bored and restless -
Whom now can they kill or maim?

Desert folk become ungrateful,
Scorn the Camel Warriors' ways.
No need for Bactrian protection
In these latter peaceful days.

Camel Riders (nothing doing)
Drinking six-packs, T.V. viewing.

Camel Riders drown their sorrows
In the desert watering holes -
Seedy strip-joints in the casbah,
Mixing with the desert proles.

Desert proles resent their presence.
Drinks are spilled and tempers frayed:
"Who the hell you looking at?"
Alcoholic threats are made.

Camel Riders (gritting teeth)
Loosen scimitars in sheath.

Then some wise-ass makes a comment
Which the Riders can't ignore.
"A rider has no need of woman
"For his camel is his whore!"

"Do you say we hump our camels?
"Take this, you mongrel dog and slave!"
Barkeep hides behind the counter.
He knows what's coming, and he's not brave.

Camel Riders (drawing swords)
Seek revenge for evil words.

Camel Riders leap from tables,
Swing from handy chandeliers.
Cry "Aha! En garde, you scoundrel!"
Slice off their opponents' ears.

Mother of all bar-room battles
Rages fierce 'til night is passed.
And at dawn, although outnumbered,
Camel Riders win at last.

Camel Riders ride again.
No-one mocks the Camel men.

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Original file name: The Camel Riders

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