Subject: do drunks have slack?

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 1:41 PM
Message-ID: <YhKr7.672$2I2.137816@news.uswest.net>

a couple of them wandered up to me and started in with the "we are
STRANDED HERE so GIVE ME A DOLLAR to "LEAVE"" then the one goes "please
please please PLEASE pretty please?" which was pretty funny but not
quite worth a buck if you know what I mean and I think you do.

of course I told them it sure SMELLED like they were trying to get back
to _______ by the excess FUEL they seemed to have spilled down their
gullets and to BEAT IT.

but then I got to thinkin' - hey, are these guys SLACKMASTERS or SLACK
VAMPIRES?

should I have given them TWICE as much as they wanted or kicked them
square in the nuts?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: do drunks have slack?
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 2:18 PM
Message-ID: <3baf7892.11379776@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

"Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net> hunched over a computer, typing
feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net> laughed madly,
then wrote:

>a couple of them wandered up to me and started in with the "we are
>STRANDED HERE so GIVE ME A DOLLAR to "LEAVE"" then the one goes "please
>please please PLEASE pretty please?" which was pretty funny but not
>quite worth a buck if you know what I mean and I think you do.
>
>of course I told them it sure SMELLED like they were trying to get back
>to _______ by the excess FUEL they seemed to have spilled down their
>gullets and to BEAT IT.
>
>but then I got to thinkin' - hey, are these guys SLACKMASTERS or SLACK
>VAMPIRES?
>
>should I have given them TWICE as much as they wanted or kicked them
>square in the nuts?
>
>

Try kicking them in the nuts first.

If they are -true- slackmasters, the luck plane will distort and your
foot will twist into the shape of a duck.

And if they aren't, well, at least you get some entertainment value
out of the deal.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"One alligator, one chicken,
one satisfied audience."
- "Frasier"

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: do drunks have slack?
From: "Budec" <budec@qwest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 2:53 PM
Message-ID: <kiLr7.559$OV1.192709@news.uswest.net>

"Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote in message
news:YhKr7.672$2I2.137816@news.uswest.net...
> a couple of them wandered up to me and started in with the "we are
> STRANDED HERE so GIVE ME A DOLLAR to "LEAVE"" then the one goes "please
> please please PLEASE pretty please?" which was pretty funny but not
> quite worth a buck if you know what I mean and I think you do.
>
> of course I told them it sure SMELLED like they were trying to get back
> to _______ by the excess FUEL they seemed to have spilled down their
> gullets and to BEAT IT.
>
> but then I got to thinkin' - hey, are these guys SLACKMASTERS or SLACK
> VAMPIRES?
>
> should I have given them TWICE as much as they wanted or kicked them
> square in the nuts?

Go for the nut shot. This works great with drunks, stoners, hippies, homos, old
guy, young kids, random strangers on the street. I recommened you LEAD with the
nut shot as an opener to a converstation. It is a real ice breaker.

Regards,
Jack
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: do drunks have slack?
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 5:18 PM
Message-ID: <240920011718351082%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <YhKr7.672$2I2.137816@news.uswest.net>, Blackout
<blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote:

> a couple of them wandered up to me and started in with the "we are
> STRANDED HERE so GIVE ME A DOLLAR to "LEAVE"" then the one goes "please
> please please PLEASE pretty please?" which was pretty funny but not
> quite worth a buck if you know what I mean and I think you do.
>
> of course I told them it sure SMELLED like they were trying to get back
> to _______ by the excess FUEL they seemed to have spilled down their
> gullets and to BEAT IT.
>
> but then I got to thinkin' - hey, are these guys SLACKMASTERS or SLACK
> VAMPIRES?
>
> should I have given them TWICE as much as they wanted or kicked them
> square in the nuts?

I always just say, "LOOK AT MY SHOES."

They do so and then they skulk away all guilty-like, for trying to bum
money off somebody obviously much broker than they are.

I could AFFORD new shoes, I'm just lazy. But they ALWAYS have BRIGHT
SHINY NEW SHOES, I have come to notice.

The worst one was when a real FAT guy asked me for "Money for food."
All I could do was look from his gut to mine until he got the picture
and split, VERY MIFFED.

Saint Bill Hicks' trick: if they happen to say, "Spare change?" You
just say, "No thanks, man, I've already got some!" I used this once on
a guy... and when I re-emerged from the store, he said, "Shucks, man,
you misunderstood me! I was asking YOU for change!"

SOME PEOPLE!

On the other hand, I had seen some put on such a good "show" or routine
that I gave them a buck for the entertainment value. But it has to be
pretty good.

Maybe I should take my ratty shoes and my long thin hair and beard and
go stand on the corner with a sign saying "VETERAN. God Bless Will Beg
for Muney."

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

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Original file name: do drunks have slack? - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:26