The True FAQ

From: (NENSLO)
Date: 25 Jan 1995

The Church of the SubGenius is a completely unique organization
among covert and information-sharing groups since its public facade of
excessive and ludicrous fantasy has made it possible to be absolutely and
publicly truthful about its aims and goals. Its continuous cries of
"wolf" deliberately destroy its credibility, making secrecy unnecessary.
The facts of its origins, nature, structure and intent appear to be
another set of fantastic fictions. The group's "hide in plain sight"
approach to sensitive or dangerous information makes it possible for
anyone to penetrate the organization and retrieve and disseminate any
information, but without long contact with the group and its ideas the
data will be hopelessly contaminated with fabrication. An initiate of
long standing and sufficient ability develops a sense of discernment by
which it is possible to spot key phrases or jargon tags which aid an
intuitive sorting process by which, to some degree, relatively truer
"facts" can be separated from those less true or purposely created. I feel
that my years of close contact with members of the church's hierarchy have
given me some degree of discernment and that most of what follows is
relatively factual.

There are no secrets in the Church of the SubGenius and I will not
be endangering myself or my family in any way, despite rumors to the
contrary, because you, dear reader, will probably not believe a word of
it. This is all just more quaint fiction.

Where to begin? There are so many impossible stories and bizarre
events associated with the Church that it is hard to choose. To set the
tone of the piece let me tell you what I've seen with my own eyes while
visiting Palmer Vreedeez (artist Hal Robins, aka Dr. Howl) in his San
Francisco apartment in 1993. Fellow SubGenius and artist Lies (Paul
Mavrides - Robins took the name Vreedeez to create confusion over the
identity of himself and Mavrides) claims, though not adamantly, to be an
initiate of a european occult group called "The Black Cloud" headquartered
in Paris, and he is known to make occasional trips there and elsewhere on
the continent. His appearance of indigence is contrived and I have never
known him to be short of cash or unable to make irrational novelty
purchases with no notice. Lies and Vreedeez began an apparently innocent
bragfight, each proclaiming their abilities in the most outrageous terms,
but after a quarter hour without significant gain Vreedeez became agitated
and suddenly swept lamp and telephone from an end-table. He then
seemingly lifted the table into the air WITHOUT TOUCHING IT. It shot out
the window and crashed onto the sidewalk two floors below where it burst
into flame. Lies changed the subject immediately and the event was never
spoken of again.

Having set the tone with that story I can say pretty much anything
I want to and be assured no reader will believe a word of it. On the same
visit I took a trip into the desert with Atwell, a harrowing experience
all around, and saw him apparently drive his truck through a concrete wall
with no damage of any kind to anything. I was then shown a series of
"missile silos" from which shone beams of bluish-green light for a period
of about two hours around midnight (this was February of 1992 - there were a number of unusual gravitational and magnetic events in the area around that time). There were also a number of what I took to be very large
sandstone rock formations which appeared to change positions when I wasn't watching.

This is nothing compared to the bizarre political and extralegal
connections of the church. Ivan Stang is known to have made trips to
England and South America in the past few years to meet with, among
others, high-ranking members of the P2 masonic group and an organization
of which the Priory of Sion and Bilderberg group are sanitized
fictionalizations. Stang and Drummond are known to be 33rd degree Masons, and Stang's position in a control group hinted at as the "Texas Mafia" is hereditary through his father, an ex-district attorney for Dallas and retired corporate lawyer. Stang has employed a man named Doug Smith to pose as the "real-life" person of Ivan Stang. Stang, however, is his real
name although he now uses the Smith name in his daily affairs. I have met
Smith and can assure you they are two different people of entirely
different capabilities. Smith seems to be a victim of arrested development
and, though he is the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet, Stang is
perfectly correct in calling him "dumb as shit." I have never met
Drummond but the stories I've heard from Onan Canobite (whose credibility is questionable to me, since "he" is, among other things, a transsexual ex-heroin addict once known as Cynthia Harris and was discharged from the WACs for crossdressing) are as strange as anything I have yet related.

I am not sure of Stang's purpose in visiting South America, but he
has told me that the "Medellin cartel" was entirely fabulous, having been
created to cover the actions of the person known as G. Gordon Gordon (said
by some to be a 300-pound black woman) who is employed by a branch of the U.S. Government to "keep the South American drug trade clean." Stang has refused to explain his visit, saying that there are still people there who could be hurt by certain information, but he did say "I know for sure Von Daniken never got anywhere near those caves."

It all sounds like insane lies, doesn't it?

Though I would prefer not to go into too much detail at this time
about its origins, since my own research is not complete, the Church of
the SubGenius seems to have a direct connection with the program known
among conspiracy nuts as The Neptune Agenda, and can trace its beginnings back to the discovery of sonar in 1915. Immediately after the first use of sonar to detect German U-boats in the North Atlantic, unusual and cryptic Morse Code messages began to be received by listeners in many
different areas. A separate code of a logarithmic nature was created to
communicate with what turned out to be aquatic mammals. I'm not going to
elaborate further here because some of the things I've picked up about
this seem very new- agey and stupid, having to do with ley lines and a
global network of crystal skulls used as mind-control transmitters to
direct the actions of technologically-advanced (left-brain) humans.
Expatriate artist Marcel Duchamp appears to have played a major overseeing role in some way and the so-called "Philadelphia Experiment" appears to have been a cover story created by him to conceal developments of an entirely different nature. Duchamp is known to have had connections with European Freemasonry and U.S Intelligence circles and certain of his
artworks appear to combine both symbolic alchemical knowledge and
apparatus of high-energy physics. His interaction with important figures
in theoretical physics and mathematics is well-documented, and his "chess
code" was in constant use by U.S. operatives in Europe during the Cold
War and is still used in some Mediterranean operations.

The stories associated with the church are endless, and it is
impossible to tell where the truth lies. I know from first-hand
experience of the major figure in alternative music who has tunnels
leading from his house to an armored bunker and seaplane dock on Puget
Sound, and Church connections with occult/fraternal organizations in
Seattle. One SubGenius claims to have triggered the 1992 Portland
earthquake with a head-launching ritual. It goes on and on, and after a
while the pattern starts to form and makes a weird kind of sense. The
only way to figure out what's "true" is to keep watching and keep quiet.

Tips: Check out stories of an installation inside Hoover Dam.
All the Groom Lake stories are cover for activities going on some 400
miles away. Stories of unusual craft entering or leaving bodies of water
bear investigating, as well as organizations closely associated with
aquatic mammals. John Lilly's studies are worthless, and he quit when he
discovered he was being deliberately decieved. He is very bitter about
it, and will not discuss it. Certain fields of New Age literature are
conduits for open distribution of symbolically coded information related
to the Neptune Agenda. The documents pretending to be directly associated with it are false, and I wrote some of them. The activities are known by that name only by outsiders but the disinformation channel established is now being used to distribute much factual information. Certain originators' names and key phrases are the clue. Watch for the name Althotas, and the term athanor, references to hollow trees, fountains, or caverns. Check out alleged "lava tube " discoveries in central Oregon and northern California. Much information about highly advanced, possibly alien, technology has appeared in "double language" essays in mycological journals and can be read as studies of fungi and the mechanics of sporulation. And disbelieve 30% of what you've just read.

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