Failed vs. False Prophets

From: Dave White <dave@i-one.at>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Oct 31, 2001 7:21 AM

Screwing up predicting the apocalypse has, in general, been good for new
religions. The exceptions consist largely of authoritarian cults where
the apocalypse ended in mass suicide. Consider the Jehovah's Witnesses,
who have a justly famous track record for missing the mark, yet now have
a world-wide ministry spreading their version of the truth to devotees
around the globe.

What did they do right? After missing the mark at least three times,
they retroactively changed their prophecies so that they were right
after all, and then disseminated this new truth to their followers.

Is the Church of the SubGenius planning a similar maneuver? It seems
like there has been a large amount of new work injected into the flaccid
veins of the body of doctrine, and the failure of Dobbs to produce the
Xists at the appointed time seems not to have diminished the interest
and activity of SubGenii.

Is Simon & Schuster willing to publish another SubGenius book? Will
there be a Post-X-Day Pamphlet? Enquiring minds want to know...

std::
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From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

There is considerable debate on this question.
I am proud to say that I am in disagreement with
most of it.
However, calling it a "maneuver" makes is sound so
much like "manure in the louvers" that I just don't
feel like responding.

Rest assured, however,
that we will remain
THE ONE TRUE CHURCH,
as nobody else even comes close.

--
*
The full moon broke through the scudding black clouds
and, as its cold light threw the bleak facades of the
tombstones into sharp relief, it revealed the presence
of the great slavering mastiff at the open door of the
crypt, its satanic red eyes glittering as it slowly
raised its massive head skyward and wagged its little
tail.
--Brian J. Collins
*
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From: davidvoth@ihateclowns.com (SPM Armory, North Annex)

I know what you mean. I have a friend who can't pronounce the word
"succulent" because the first syllable sounds just like "suck".

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From: davidvoth@ihateclowns.com (SPM Armory, North Annex)

On Wed, 31 Oct 2001 13:21:27 +0100, Dave White <dave@i-one.at> was
kind enough to write:

>Screwing up predicting the apocalypse has, in general, been good for new
>religions. The exceptions consist largely of authoritarian cults where
>the apocalypse ended in mass suicide. Consider the Jehovah's Witnesses,
>who have a justly famous track record for missing the mark, yet now have
>a world-wide ministry spreading their version of the truth to devotees
>around the globe.

They remind me of my bosses at Work who keep telling me "The legacy
Java applications on our Web servers will all be gone in SIX MONTHS.
I guarantee it." Boss said that right to my face just yesterday, and
he didn't even crack a smile.

A series of Bosses has been telling me the same thing for almost two
and a half YEARS, but there they are:

http://classictln.lightspan.com/servlet/HelloWorldServlet

Uh-Yup! The engine crashes under load, and I have to keep supporting
it day and night until it's ALL gone.

>What did they do right? After missing the mark at least three times,
>they retroactively changed their prophecies so that they were right
>after all, and then disseminated this new truth to their followers.

You've got to hand it to the Witlesses. If a second marriage is "a
triumph of optimism over experience", the JWs must have something very
special indeed.

>Is the Church of the SubGenius planning a similar maneuver? It seems
>like there has been a large amount of new work injected into the flaccid
>veins of the body of doctrine, and the failure of Dobbs to produce the
>Xists at the appointed time seems not to have diminished the interest
>and activity of SubGenii.
>
>Is Simon & Schuster willing to publish another SubGenius book? Will
>there be a Post-X-Day Pamphlet? Enquiring minds want to know...

Failed or False? I don't know if there is a way to tell the
difference. Maybe "Failed" should be reserved for prophets that give
up.

Check this guy out - "Dr." Louis Turi, a phony French guy. He's been
WRONG consistently for years and years, but he keeps selling tarot
tables and crap:

http://www.drturi.com/

And he practices astrology in San Diego, which is ILLEGAL!

--
"If you're accused falsely of the same thing three times,
that's a freebie."
- St. John Iceknife
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From: opalpeacok@aol.com.de.it (Salacia the Overseer)

>
>Failed or False? I don't know if there is a way to tell the
>difference. Maybe "Failed" should be reserved for prophets that give
>up.
>
Yeah. One of the first UFO cults, and a lot of other doomsday cults that suffer
the profound disenfranchisement (akin to ours) of a non-event rupture, rapture,
or corporeal ecstatic salvation go into hyper evangelical overcompensatory
overdrive when they find themselves still on earth sitting on their luggage.
They become rabid proselytizers who work even harder than they did before the
original expiration date to bring more believers into the family of the
faithful. You'd think with the saving grace that is Slack, with or without the
rupture, we'd be out there sweeping souls and dollars into the church's
dustpan. I'd do it but....Oh my, look at the time...gotta go..

Headmiftreff falacia the Overfeer
Branch falacians
Director of Programming, Keeper of the feven fqueals, Hainted, Tainted, & Befet
by Devylf
Dia de lof Muertof Fiefta Oct 27, 2001-Chicago Athenaeum
http://www.members.aol.com/opalpeacok/TheCompound.html
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Subject: Re: Failed vs. False Prophets
From: Osama Yomama <mndswpr@ix.netcom.com>

When I was a kid of ten, we were living on the outskirts of Seattle in 1970.All of the neighbors on the block were either Joho's or Mormons.We had heard rumors that The Joho's were getting ready to get on that big God bus to the sky in a couple weeks. A few days later, my friends and I were playing in the local trash heap and came upon a pile of great stuff consisting of working lawn mowers, toasters, bikes and various household items.We brought all the loot home and my Dad ,being a great atheist, told us the loot was"sent by the Lord".

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Original file name: Failed vs. False Prophets - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:27