Subject: Endive Comic Conspiracy

From: ePRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: nenslo@tonyaharding.org
Date: Thu, Mar 23, 2000 4:01 AM
Message-ID: <38D9DD5C.51A9@subgenius.com>

August 7th, 1996, NASA scientists held a press conference and made the
astonishing announcement life may have been discovered on the planet
Mars. It was theorized an asteroid smashed into Mars 15 million years
ago, knocking pieces of the angry red planet into space. About 13,000
years ago, one of those pieces landed at the Earth's South Pole.
Researchers found tubular structures lodged in the clay inside the
meteorite. NASA scientists believe the tubular structures are fossilized
bacterial forms 3.6 billion years old. Though the scientists stated
their findings were only preliminary, and that much work remained to be
done before a definitive answer to the question of life on Mars could be
given, they repeatedly stressed they felt their interpretation, that the
meteorite's tubular structures were life forms, was the correct one.
Consequently, much of the world's media presented the NASA findings as
fact. Even President Clinton seemed persuaded. He held a special press
conference of his own to announce a series of unmanned NASA missions to
Mars. Although these missions had been scheduled even before the
stunning NASA announcement, we found the following comment from
President Clinton highly interesting: "I am determined that the American
space program will put its full intellectual power and technological
prowess behind the search for further evidence of life on Mars."

We believe that "further evidence of life on Mars" will, indeed, be
found. The recent NASA "discovery" is just one more step in an ongoing
plan to condition mankind to accept the reality of maneating devil
maggots. This plan has been underway, in earnest, for over 50 years.
Beginning with the famous Roswell incident in 1947, the human population
has been subjected to an exponentially increasing barrage of reports
about UFO sightings, alien abductions, cattle mutilation, crop circles,
monuments on the moon and Mars, even reptile people living beneath the
Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City. Our most popular books, television
programs and movies concern themselves with the maneating devil maggot
phenomenon. The maneating devil maggot propaganda campaign has been
startlingly successful. A recent Newsweek survey revealed that fully 50%
of Americans believe in maneating devil maggots. My friends, this is a
higher percentage than people who believe in invisible homosexual
dinosaurs. This sad fact is highly significant, for we are convinced
that the maneating devil maggot phenomenon is the result of Christian
trickery. Mankind is being victimized by a Christian cosmic conspiracy,
the ultimate aim of which is to deceive mankind into rejecting its True
Creator, and into accepting Jesus Christ as mankind's savior, and
joining him in the war against the Anti-Christ at Armageddon.

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