Build Your Own "Bob"

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>

Somewhere along the line this past week in alt.slack, a few misguided
individuals have gotten the idea that whatever *I* approve or disapprove of
is what is Officially Dobbs Approved or Disapproved.

Nothing could be further from the truth! I am but a lowly volunteer
employee of the Church. In fact, I am the lowliest of all the Church's
employees, subjected to the most drudging tasks like driving to the PO Box
to pick up orders and putting the membership packs together by hand. Just
because I handle some of the email and answer the phone doesn't mean that
what *I* say is the Official Word on ANYTHING. [unless I'm just
transmitting an official message from the people who DO decide things]

I have the Dobbs Given RIGHT to post ANY DAMNFOOL THING I want to on
alt.slack, and it ain't fair of y'all to act like the rants I spew are
somehow reflective of the Church's opinion. You all should already KNOW
that. That was the WHOLE POINT of this Church in the first place: Pull The
Wool Over Your OWN Eyes. Doktrine of Erasability. Build your own "Bob".
etc

And, if y'all don't quit saying stuff like that, the Lord will make me stop
posting anything but official stuff, and then I'll have to make a sock
puppet to go on alt.slack, and I don't know how to do that, so I'd have to
ask for help and then everyone would know it was me and the whole purpose
would be defeated.

And then I'd CRY!

From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
>
>Nothing could be further from the truth! I am but a lowly volunteer
>employee of the Church. In fact, I am the lowliest of all the Church's
>employees, subjected to the most drudging tasks like driving to the PO
>Box to pick up orders and putting the membership packs together by hand.
> Just because I handle some of the email and answer the phone doesn't
>mean that what *I* say is the Official Word on ANYTHING.

Bullshit. The Lord's word is official, and the Lord's your husband. If he
doesn't do what you command, you can cut off the pussy supply.

Lowly volunteer INDEED. You have ALL the REAL power, you have the
Lord wrapped around your little finger, and everyone knows Stang's a drug-
addled retard confined to a wheelchair like that fucked-up first captain
from Star Trek.

--
Dr.Legume
SubGenius Foundation

PLEASE!!!
Buy my "BOB" PRO TEXAS
t-shirts and coffee mugs at
http://www.cafepress.com/drlegume
all proceeds benefit my continued unemployment

From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)

Sterno wrote:
>>everyone knows Stang's a drug-
>> addled retard confined to a wheelchair like that fucked-up first
>> captain from Star Trek.
>
>No he's not. He's a drug-addled CONGOLESE retard confined to a
>wheelchair like that fucked-up first captain from Star Trek.

Does that make him a Congoloid?
I obviously stand corrected.
--
Dr.Legume
SubGenius Foundation

Back to document index

Original file name: Build Your Own "Bob" - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:32