Vote Facist...

From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)
Date: Tue, Nov 6, 2001 12:22 PM

...for a Third Glorious Decade of Total Law Enforcement!

Actually, if you're for facism, then DON'T VOTE AT ALL. That's where
it'll prolly wind up. Meanwhile, I strongly encourage all those
capable of doing so to VOTE TODAY! While we're STILL ALLOWED!
"Bob"-dammit, take part in our "democracy" even if it is a sham.
Although persoanlly, I think that the reason it is a sham is because
too few people can muster up the effort to peel their lazy asses off
the couch and GET INVOLVED. Shit, these scumbucket politicians get
away with all sorts of underhanded dealing just because they don't
think that there's anyone watching. Fuck that, Jasper, WE'RE ON TO
YOU! So vote, vote, vote, early and often, it's you're privelege and
duty as an American. You think all these dumbass yahoos with flag
stickers all over thir 4x4's are gonna vote - hell no! I saw an
estimate that they're expecting about a 30% turnout at the polls in
Toostoned today. At least 60% of the vehicles in this town have flag
stickers. You do the math. There's more to being a patriot that
putting a sticker in the window of your minivan, yo. That way, the
next time you have to listen to one of these ignoramuses spout off
about how we should nuke everyone, and how any dissent is unpatriotic,
you can throw this right in his ugly mug. "Oh yeah? Well, who'd you
vote for, Jethro?" - "Ah didn't vote..." - "And you call yourself an
American..."

Following is an excerpt from the There He Is! voters guide, more or
less:

When dealing with your participation in the electoral process, here
are some handy hints for making your selection:

-ALWAYS VOTE FOR A THIRD-PARTY CANDIDATE - Let's face it, the Democans
and Republicrats are two sides of the same ol' coin. Vote for a
third-party candidate as a "none of the above" vote. Hell, the
bastard might even win! (NOTE: We hate when people suggest that
voting for a third-party candidate is equivalent to "throwing your
vote away." We feel that "throwing your vote away" involves feeling
obligated to vote for one of two obviously horrible candidates just
because they are from the mainstream parties. It's not like you get a
prize if the guy you vote for wins, or anything.)

-USE THE WRITE-IN SLOT - Almost every ballot has a blank spot for you
to write in the name of another candidate. Use this space to nominate
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs to be your new mayor, city council memeber or
dog-catcher.

-IF ALL ELSE FAILS - If there's no third-party-candidate and no
write-in slot, always vote for the candidate with the funniest name.

YFNR

Rev. Crawford, Boy Patriot
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Just as an aside to an otherwise fine rant: I wonder,
when they go over to totally electronic votes, if they'll
use one of them funny JAVA thingies, where, when you move
your cursor over the *wrong* choice, the *wrong* icon darts
away, SO IT DOESN'T LET YOU VOTE FOR WHAT YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED
TO VOTE FOR!

Dang, with a great big ballot, like for the presidentials,
imagine moving your cursor and seeing all the little third
party icons jump all over the screen to avoid being clicked
on! If you click on empty space you also get an audio raspberry,
along with a sneering comment, "What, do we have to come in
here and SHOW you how to vote? Geez, can't you do it right?
C'mon, click on an icon! Do it! C'mon! FASTER! TIME'S
A WASTING! HURRY UP! ARE YOU DUMB? CLICK ON AN ICON, VOTE
AND GET OUT OF HERE!!!"

And then, when you click on republicrat or demopublican, it
comes through with a real nice, "Thank you for doing your part,
CITIZEN! Have a very nice day! You have done the Patriotic
thing!"

--
*
"No one is safe." -- nu-monet
*

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Original file name: Vote Facist... - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30