Hello,
I have been lurking on alt.slack for a few weeks now and am new to this.
I have read "The Book of the SubGenius", "High Weirdness by Mail" and a
few e-mail pamphlets. I haven't sent in my $30 dollars yet for my
ordainment/subscription but I find my nentessential path is taking me
that way. That is why I _must_ share the experience I had yesterday.
My wife was driving me to the airport down I-85 south in Atlanta
so that I could return to my job in the thick of the Conspiracy's
minions, when I saw an exit that read "J.W. Dobbs Pkwy", I can't
remember the number for at that instance visions of Dobbsheads danced in
front of me and I felt a brief moment of Slack in my otherwise
Slack-less day. I felt like Moses at the burning bush incident. I
believe the mere mention of the name Dobbs set this off. But the
question arose: Who _is_ J.W. Dobbs? Is it perhaps an apocryphal brother
of "Bob"? Is it perhaps J.W. "Bill" Dobbs? I don't know...
But when I had reached my destination that evening a friend of
mine was waiting for me to take me back to my place of residence. I
persuaded him to stop by the bookstore on the way home because I felt
the need to possess "Revelation X". I had previously special ordered it
from this particular bookstore, but because I had not picked it up
within the assigned two weeks, they sold it out from under me.
Coincidence or Conspiracy Cover-up?
I checked the _humor_ section where they said it could be located. (Yet
another Conspiracy Cover-up?) It wasn't there. The salesman behind the
counter looked in his computer and said they possesed 4 copies of it.
He checked the humor section. It still wasn't there. And finally he
checked back in the stock room and found it after about 5-10 minutes of
searching. I laid down my money then and there. But I still wonder why
it was so well hidden out of sight. Was it to protect the Normals or
was it to foil someone wishing to embrace their Tibetan Heritage? I
don't know... I have since found it hard to put it down however, and
will be sending my check to Dallas tomorrow.
Thank you for your endurance,
James Gradisher
james.gradisher@nccbbs.com
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: sbjohnston@aol.com (SBJohnston)
We don't call it the *Conspiracy* for nothing! I find it miraculous that
the books even get published!
PS -- As I write this I see that Moon Unit Zappa is hosting a show on
VH-1. Oh, what sad times are these...
---------------------------------------------------------
Steve The Reverend Doktor S-bo sbjohnston@aol.com
---------------------------------------------------------
"Shoot! A fella could have a pretty good weekend in
Dallas with all that stuff." Slim Pickens
---------------------------------------------------------
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: bdb@shadow.net (Doctor BDB)
james.gradisher@nccbbs.com (JAMES GRADISHER) wrote:
>Who _is_ J.W. Dobbs? Is it perhaps an apocryphal brother
>of "Bob"? Is it perhaps J.W. "Bill" Dobbs? I don't know...
Unknown at this time, I'm not a "hierarch" so to speak, so maybe when
Stang gets back from his trip to the SPACE BANKERS, we can get some kind
of answer. Shure would aid in the generation of a new batch of media
barrage! <wink>
> But when I had reached my destination that evening a friend of
>mine was waiting for me to take me back to my place of residence. I
>persuaded him to stop by the bookstore on the way home because I felt
>the need to possess "Revelation X".
That's a sensation commonly termed "SYNCING UP". Certainly, there was
an ordained Doktor or Reverend nearby, and they whiffed your latent
pstench, and AMPED it up a few watts for you.
>I had previously special ordered it from this particular bookstore, but
>because I had not picked it up within the assigned two weeks, they sold
>it out from under me. Coincidence or Conspiracy Cover-up?
I've noticed the Rev X manual to be buried in several different sections
at local bookstores:
- Humor section at Walden Books
- Religion section at Barnes and Nobles
- Computer section at Border's
[...rest of message bobbited...]
Semper Dobbs,
Doktor BoogieDownBisson (pronounced BEE-sahn)
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: roach@primenet.com (Eric Hillman)
I thought it was particluarly odd that when I went to look for
RevX at my local major corporate chain bookstore, it was filed under
Science Fiction. In fact, according to the back cover of the book
and the Library of Congress thingy, RevX *is* Science Fiction.
I wasn't really sure what to make of the fact that the Church
had moved from slightly below and to the left of Dave Barry and right
next to "Fox Trot" and was now sharing rackspace with Phillip K. Dick,
Arthur C. Clarke and L. Ron Hubbard. Was this another stride towards
the Book's eventual conquest and assimilation of the Religion,
Occult/New Age and How-To sections? Or an attempt at ghettoization by
the hidden hands that move the literary world? Or just a diabolical plot
to make the book harder to find, waste my lunch hour and take up my slack?
By the way, did anybody know that Midway (I think) has put out a
game called "Revolution X"? (The object of the game, I think, is to
shoot your way through a post-apocalyptic wasteland in an effort to save
rock musicians. Or something.) And that there's a whole age group of
people, a massive demographic coffee stain upon the tapestry of America,
who are commonly referred to as "Generation X?" (or sometimes, "Slackers?!")
And that Spam will actually outlast the container it's packed in?
Strange.
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: skimery@ionet.net (Rev. Leo Damascus)
In article <3k42in$6a6@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net says...
>John, I just said that the other day...I found MY copies of
>RevelationX and Three-Fisted Tales of "Bob" in the ultimate
>Yuppie New Age bookstore, just below the sexual Astrology stuff.
>(for other OKC SubGenii, that would be "Starwind" on Britton and
>Penn)
Howdy Tarla! Couldn't miss the local reference. I'm in T-town.
At this end of the 'Pike, I "Book'o'SubGenius" in a staid little
bookstore called Yorktown Alley (now sadly defunct, to my knowledge),
snuggled up right next to the "Unarius" and Edgar Cayce volumes.
It was a good feeling, seeing it properly classified like that.
Of course, I later found it down at "Peace of Mind Bookstore", our major
outlet for esoterica.
"Revelation X" seems to be stuck firmly in the humor section at "Novel
Idea". But they _do_ carry it, and will admit to being able to find it
on the shelves.
Praise "Bob" for the independant booksellers, and may they all find
their way to the fold! (Bill-fold, that is.)
Conspiracy stooges at "Barnes and Noble" have pretended not to have
heard of it, Dobbs or Stang, although they do carry "High Weirdness" (so
maybe there's some hope for them). "Bob" knows who their computer
thinks wrote HWBM, but at least it is there.
I'm sure the crew of DobbStar-1 would prefer orders via the sacred POBox
140306 Dallas TX 75214 (thankyousir-mayIhaveanother) for these and other
items, but heck, we're at X-minus-4! C'mon gang. Four years and
counting. We don't got enuff 'eau de a-soul' bottled up to keep Them at
bay. We gotta talk some major numbers soon, though the next elections
should push a lot of people over some edge or other.
If they have a next election.
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: archangl@best.com (Cybermonk)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.subgenius
>OK, we've discussed the attempts to get a wider audience for The Church
>by tricking bookstores into shelving Revelation X under "Science Fiction"
>instead of just "Humor".
>But now, a report of true victory!
>At my urging, a friend went to buy a copy of Revelation X at an unnamed
>bookstore in Massachussetts. It wasn't on the shelf, but the store's
>order list revealed that it would normally be shelved under ... "Occult"!
>YESSSSSSS!
Oh, come on. The bookstores are *littered* with the damned thing.
Everywhere
I turn, that trash is everywhere. Whether I'm looking for literary essays in
Kepler's Books in Mountain View, CA, or looking for guides to political
correctness in the Stanford campus bookstore, or buying a girlie magazine in
Tower Books, or a book on assembly code in Stacey's technical books... try as
I might, there is simply no escape. Now I am going to buy a book on the end
times at Gospel Christian Books, and I *better not find that crap* there!
p.s. Just noticed a dollar bill lying on my desk, and can't think of anything
to do with it -- guess I'll just have to throw it away.
-- Cybermonk
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: dougr@ssec.wisc.edu (Douglas Ratcliff)
skimery@ionet.net (Rev. Leo Damascus) writes:
>Conspiracy stooges at "Barnes and Noble" have pretended not to have
>heard of it, Dobbs or Stang, although they do carry "High Weirdness" (so
>maybe there's some hope for them). "Bob" knows who their computer
>thinks wrote HWBM, but at least it is there.
at the "Barnes and Noble" in Milwaukee they had _Revelation X_ on the shelf
but still claimed to have never heard of Dobbs or Stang. Still, they
allowed me to read aloud from both _X_ and _the Book_ and even gave me a
personal excort out of the store. They may be Con, but they're good
people!
Sincerly,
Douglas P.
Computer Operator,Moabite,
Fictional Character,Warrior-Monk
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: rwo@raptor.eng.ufl.edu (Lo-Cal Jesus)
In article <archangl.64.000F4E63@best.com>,
archangl@best.com (Cybermonk) wrote:
: p.s. Just noticed a dollar bill lying on my desk, and can't think of
anything
: to do with it -- guess I'll just have to throw it away.
Yeah. That's what Stang claims HE does with the dollar bills he
finds in his P.O. Box. So just go ahead and head that Ugly American
Dollar to the Nine Inch Worms by flusing it down the toilet.
It'll save Stang the effort.
....................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.....................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK. Licensed to blaspheme the Gods
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
No, I didn't say we THROW 'EM AWAY, I said we RECYCLE THEM into school
lunches for kids!
SPECIFIC kids!
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
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Subject: Re: Visions of Dobbsheads
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
fud@fudriff.demon.co.uk wrote:
> Yes I knew all these things Except........wait for it.......
> That bit about SPAM...cool really cool!! bring SPAM I must have
> SPAM (BTW how long does it last??)
>
!!!
When Vreedeez got back from France, he said that the Paris "Clench" that
he met had pretty women in it (apparently this surprised him), that they
lurked on alt.slack... AND THAT THEY WERE REAL INTO SPAM!! The potted
meat-food product, not the I-net slang. So I guess it's a cross-European
SubGenius thing? SPAM? Spam being somehow... COOL?... in the Old Country,
since it isn't SOLD there? Or ... what?
It's understandable in a way... the can has great graphics (my daughter
has a full color T-shirt that sports just a photo of the CAN), it has a
name that lingers on the tongue, and by Gobbs you can't say that shit
doesn't TASTE GOOD fried up on a skillet. It's been a long time since I
ate any, because ... well... you know... I'm 41, that's why, the old
ticker can't afford the ectra clogs, most likely. And I'm acutely aware of
what parts of dead animals it's made from. But MAN is it some GOOD GREASY
STUFF, right up there with SLIDERS from WHITE CASTLE!
I hate to admit, I only maintain the SubGenius Diet for LUNCH and MIDNIGHT
SNACKS. The Conspiracy has forced me into cooking almost sort of LOW FAT
for everybody for dinner. Hell, the KIDS are with ME -- TV dinners or Jack
in the Box EVERY NIGHT would be FINE. But OH NO -- the "old lady" says
we'll all DIE if we eat CHUNKS OF PURE ANIMAL FAT.
Just out of revenge I devour the grossest crap for lunch. Frozen burritos
are the FASTEST. But for pure grossness you can't beat a bunch of okra
chopped up, boiled for 2 minutes, then joined by some (local store brand)
CANNED VEGETABLE SOUP. It results in this viscous snotlike fluid that once
you start swallowing, you have to KEEP GOING, because it's all one long
STRING. The best of both worlds -- it's "healthy" for you, but UTTERLY
ALIEN AND SICKENING to "THE OTHERS."
Praise Dobbs, Praise Spam, Praise damn god OKRA!!
Rev. Ivan "Must REALLY Need Attention" Stang
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