Saucer Seating

From: christuck@aol.com (ChrisTuck)

Hell's Bells, brothers and sisters! Don't worry about seating on the
Saucers of Salvation, we'll ALL get window seats.

For has not Stang hisself revealed in the interim Stark Fist mini-journal
& REVELATION X flyer that there's only about 4000 paid up members of the
Mutant Ministry of Dobbs.

Granted, there's gonna be a shitload of folks sending in that all
important, life saving $30.00 as X-DAY draws near, but the Saucers will be
huge and spacious, with seats of FINE Corinthian leather and BIG RED
STRAPS, because Dobbs has SUCKERED the X-ISTS with his Snappy Line of
Patter into believing there's millions of Subs on this planet, or rather,
there's millions of Normals who call themselves "Sub" and just by
mindlessly parroting Subjargon and "intending" to send in that
all-important $30.00, have convinced themselves that that's all it takes
to get a seat on that Awful Day.

Granted, there are some who's essence is SO potently SubGenius that
they'll be beamed aboard without any intervention or documentation from
the Father Church.

Don't count on being one of them. My own calculations indicate that
there's maybe 1 in 10 million on this planet who'll qualify as a genuine
Unchurched SubGenius, with a powerful enough pstench to be Ruptured on the
7/5/'98.

***************************************************************
* "My parents went to the Roswell Crash Site, *
* and all I got was this crummy Government Cover Up!" *
***************************************************************
*Chris Tucker (christuck@aol.com) * Will Build Thermo- *
*27 Terrill Street Rutland Vermont* Nuclear Weapons *
* 05701-4157 USA +1,802.775.6277 * For Food ! *
***************************************************************

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Subject: Re: Saucer Seating
From: subgstang1@aol.com (SubGStang1)

In article <786157987snz@teeny.demon.co.uk>, PS@teeny.demon.co.uk (Paul
Shirley) writes:
"What sort of tip do we give when we board the saucers?"

Answer: Foreskin, forebrain, forefinger and forehead. No big deal. You'll
thank Dobbs, in the long run.

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