Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh

Crude Behavior
Doggone It, Stop, Mister!

There is a part of the brain that harks back to primordial times. In the female, it is the ostrich, a strange bird that hides its head in the sand and mns as fast as the day is long. Sometimes, when the ostrich brain kicks in, a "Connie" can keep a "Bob" begging and twitching for years, even lifetimes. In the "Bob," the primordial part of the brain is reptilian. It's the part of the brain that gives him an instant doggie-dick erection at the sight of a pretty girl, or makes him want to wallow in his sexiness like a pig with five hundred pounds of rock-hard, brick-colored shit stuck up his ass. It's the part of the brain that says, "Tell her anything, but stick your penis into her body."

There's no reason to fight it; anyone who is really honest will admit this fact of life is the Euclidean Truth and nothing butt. . . . Anyhow, the mind-set of the "Connie" is to repel this repugnant reptile, and for a good reason: If she didn't, all humans would spend their time doggie style, and never get anything done! Or so says one bigoted asshole with a Ph.D tacked above his desk at a local think tank!