Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh

Man O Man a Shove Its
Dissertation from an F Student

What a day. Trouble in the Middle East, tension in the Eastern Bloc, problems here at home, boy. Do you know what it's like to try and monitor a planetful of wild, out-of-control Pink Boys, Wankers, Jips, Mediocretins and other human types? It's like trying to corral ants with a wet spaghetti strand. Everybody seems to have something to blow some steam about. Up here, over that-a-ways, down there too. Man O Man? You know, "Bob," it ain't easy just trying to listen in about it; I sure as hell-o don't know how they all manage to keep so activel "Channel 2 News," "Alive at Five," "World Lowdown Report," radio, citizens bands, police frequencies; Marine, Air Force and satellite transmissions . . . not to mention newspapersl Hundreds of them, in a hundred languagesl Where do these people find time to leam how to fire a smart cannon and keep up on politics at the same time? The Stark Fist? HA! All I know is, if we all get blown up by a RadioDrone A-bomb someday, will I get to see me melt down on my TV, or will I have to wait for Time magazine to stick a rolled-up copy up my butt, light it, and stuff the "free with your subscription" handy "Lighted Bed Fone" in my mouth? Send help soon, "Bob."