Dr. Christopher Gross
Being the Revelation of Mr. Zed

And "Bob" brought me unto an high place above the roads of the city. And I saw Motorists in wondrous numbers, who drove chariots pulled by neither horses nor oxen. And they turned not as they went, and thus they slew many of my countrymen.

And I said unto "Bob," "Who are the drivers of these chariots, who see not that which passeth before them and who are like unto the whirlwind in their haste?" And "Bob" spake, saying:

"They are the Followers of the Norm, the Pishai, the Pimangas, those who live in fear of themselves and whose minds are fettered unto deepest Evil. They knoweth not the ways of Slack, as thou mayst see by their driving, and yea they desire it thus, for they be not of Yeti but of Pink extraction. Serve them not."

And I said, "Verily I will not serve them, for have they not sought my life and the lives of my kin with their chariots? Have they not taken my gold and my women, and do they not revile thy name and mine?"

And "Bob" said, "Thou speakest the very truth; The Pink Boys have done much else besides that of which thou lamentest. They have befouled Gaia, the Mother Earth, as thou hast read in the books of Nag Hammadi, with their foul vapors and vile unguents. They have loosed the madness ofthe blind Azathoth upon the world's innocent, they have launched Heads not of metal but of flesh in defiance of the edicts of the Doktors, and," and here he breathed in, "and AIEEE hath they spread false doctrines to smother the divine Meaning of the Year Zero. Yea, in their arrogance they even slew me, proving that they can take not an joke."

And "Bob" smote me mightily upon the forehead, saying, "Go thou amongst the blind Faceless Ones, the servants of the Elder Gods, and make witness for the sake of thy kinfolk. Spread the good news of Slack Etemal amongst those SubGenii who knoweth not my name, and end forevermore the reign of the Pinks. Perform thou the Salute: aieeeeeyiyiyi eyi eyiyiyi."

And he smote me again, and I fell down and knew no more. And when I awoke at sunset, I saw that I had been trodden underfoot by the passing multitudes as I lay in a swoon. And I swore a mighty oath, and I cursed as I swore, and I betcok myself to my hearth.

May the power of the fist of "Bob" and the Wrath of JHVH-1 come down upon thee and remain with thee throughout all eternity.