YES this IS a PLEDGE DRIVE SHOW -- but don't BALK, shed not a tear, tarry not -- for it is also cleverly combined into a THEME SHOW about the most pervasive and infernal invention of the Conspiracy, JOBS. Yes, JOBS. The horror of your JOB and the JOY of spending what you EARNED on that job, on THIS job... this RADIO STATION, this... this ANTI-JOB, this HOUR... of Slack, ah yes.
(PLAY TAPE to end of WELCOME TO THE WORKING WEEK)
Now some of you may LOVE your jobs. And to all three of you I have this to say, "Bob" blesses you and expects you to tithe even MORE than 45% of your income. For the rest of us we have some readings from both the new and old testaments, BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and the upcoming REVELATION X. For "Bob" has spoken on these things. And in between sermons you can CALL THIS STATION to PLEDGE TIL YOUR GUTS BLEED. And you'll WANT to because this time we have a new pledge premium that you WON'T WANT TO MISS, nosirmaam. It's the brand new SUBGENIUS ACTALOG -- that's right -- you pledge money to this station and we'll send you a 12 page suitable for framing GIGANTIC CATALOG of SUBGENIUS PARAPHERNALIA and RITUAL KNIVES and SKULL GOBLETS and so on, by which YOU can spend EVEN MORE of YOUR MONEY, ON "BOB!"" But this is no ordinary catalog.... (read from catalog)
BOOK page 140 -- MONEY rant
(Do other pledge premium rap)... AND YOU WILL GET SLACK
(PLAY TAPE from Ray Dodge to end of "9 to 5 Jobs"
WORK -- A PLAGUE WORSE THAN AIDS.
RAMONES: JOB THAT ATE MY BRAIN
WORK RANT from BOOK
TAPE... (Pledge stuff)
NEW BOOK -- MR. PERFECT IS A ZOMBIE
Pledge tape to end of "I believe in You People"
LET THE ROBOTS DO THE WORK, AND WE'LL GET PAID.
That philosophy WILL come true. You might not think it to hear all the doomsaying on this show, but we're really quite optomistic. I personally believe that humanity (plus the unsaved SubGenii) will achieve Utopia within 10,000 years. Actually we the card-carrying paid-up SubGenius ministers will achieve GLUTOPIA within 4 years, on X-Day... but even for those left behind, I don't see why it should take more than 10,000 years for people to figure out that they really COULD let the robots do all the work, and then spend all their time vacationing. Now don't get me wrong -- things will get worse, a hell of a lot worse, before they get better -- for everyone except those already INSIDE THE DOME -- and the planet will probably undergo a 9,000 year DARK AGES worse than the 13th century. But then after that... hell, they'll probably wise up, repent, quit their jobs and Slack off.... even the humans. I know... call me a teary-eyed dreamer, a hopeless romantic idealist... we'll be lucky if ANY life still survives in 100 years... but I just have that shining hope that someday, in some better world, Slack will prevail and we'll all be fabulously rich, without working!!
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Original file name: HoS 431 Glutopia
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