HoS 435 script

AH YES so... familiar to be back to the land of the living dead again. Been on the road, preachin'. Just trying to save a few souls and turn 'em over to "Bob." Let "Bob" keep 'em. I sure don't want 'em. Well, maybe SOME of 'em.

I had a real good time, especially when I got to the Brain Rot part. Most of this show will be a replay of a delightful evening spent at WCSB in Cleveland with BRAIN ROT RADIO THEATER, sponsored by ESO Radio, featuring that anything for a laugh duo, LCDave, Psychopathfinder and Skabby Daze. This time, a radio play featuring "Bob" Dobbs (as played by Dave DeLuca) and Connie Dobbs (as played by Princess Wei R. Doe.) But first I must share something with you...

I saw the most wonderful sight today. I'm hurting all over and I want to go SLEEP but it was a marvelous sight indeed. My daughter and I were biking out by White Rock Lake, it was such a beautiful day, and we were tooling along the spillway, well, struggling along exhausted really, reading all the grafitti... this concrete spillway is just smlathered with paint... and I must admit I was HOPING to see some, and sure enough, there was the "Bob" grafitti. I hope whatever kids did that graffiti are listening tonight. They should be proud. And what they spray-painted on that wall reveals a lot about them. It reads, "Bob SAVES" and PRAISE "BOB" and then it says HEMP 100% and "BOB NORMAL" and then JEFF + MINDY = DOPE. We thought that was so romantic. Also on that spillway there's a LONG strech of footprints that BOB himself left up on the precarious railing... he walked barefoot through this green paint and then up a wall, along the top of the wall, then straight down the wall like an MC Eschere painting, then off into the dirt where he left his SPOOR.

That made me feel good to be alive, especially since I'd heard I was dead. In fact, most of the guests at this year's WINTERSTAR up in Ohio were dead. The A C E group in Cleveland holds these events and this year they were gonna have Tomothy Leary, Robert Anton Wilson and me and a bunch of other guests. Well, we all know Timothy Leary's dead. The moody blues said so. But on top of that he got pneumonia and canceled. Then people started calling the SubGenius Foundation bemoaning how Robert Anton Wilson, author of illuminatus and our POPE BOB, had died too. I got to Ohio and found Pope Bob basking in all the attention he'd gotten as a dead man. Hundreds of people sent flowers and condolences to his wife. He SWEARS he didn't start the rumor himself. But then... wouldn't he?

Then there was the rumor that Sister Tonya Squared had lost her mind, stabbed me dead and tried to eat my brains, and was now in the rubber room. All of that is true except that I didn't die. I was one of the lucky ones. Many have. This last month or so... well, I think the Conspiracy virus implant was most obvious with Zappa but then you had Jack Kirby, the greatest of great comic book artists, die, and BILL HICKS!!! GOD! FINALLY a COMEDIAN comes along that I CAN MIGHTY LIKE, and he up and DIES!!! It just ain't fair. It's like somebody killing John Lennon and leaving Paul McCartney to primp and twitter. And that mighty weird filmmaker Derek Jarman snuffed it, and Papa John Creech at some point in there, and... and DINAH SHORE, MY GOD WE USED TO LAUNCH HER WRISTS BACK IN '76!!! Bob... Bob died... and RED... and BINNY... and they CAUGHT LUCIUS... man, what's this world coming to.

Well, it's coming to PORTLAND!!! UNIVERSAL SUBGENIUS PILGRIMAGE to Portland Oregon USA JULY 5 1994!!!

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Original file name: HoS 435

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