HoS 455 through 469 -- Very detailed notes

Remember.... Remember.... we're sitting together listening to this.... but what the HELL IS this that we're listening to? Well, that "remember" piece I'm so enamored of is by SILICA GEL, as was that nice techno-music piece... from their independent CD, a song called MAKE BRAIN ROAST. And boy, do they. You can reach them at... PO Box 33561 Raleigh NC 27636... but let's go back to the beginning, peel back the layers of tape. Parts of this show were recorded at the Starwood Festival in New York where Rev. Bleepo Abernathy helped me preach. And that collage edit of dead Bob quotes from the movie Bob Roberts was not actually assembled by Puzzling Evidence, but by Dr. Phineas Narco. The EFFECTS laden, echoey sounding meditational subgenetic, uh, "humor" is from our visit with Lonesome Cowboy Dave and Chas on ESO Radio at WCSB in Cleveland, with special guest Princess Wei R. Doe. The superb rant about how the Devil wears a necktie was written by the great NENSLO although delivered by me. The guy ranting to a live audience who says "DEAR FRIENDS" even more often than me, is the mighty Rev. Mike Ro Phone, at Dragon Con in Atlanta, also heard on WREK in that fair city. I should mention that there's a LOT of great stuff from that Atlanta show that I haven't played on this show yet because I'm still waiting for BETTER RECORDED TAPES of, for instance, Sister Susie the Floozie's rant, and the Swinging Love Corpses incredible performance, although I just got a load of tape of that from our prayer partner Bob Payne of New Jersey, which has helped a whole lot. Incidentally, Paul Mavrides and Dr. Howll did most of the ART on this show.

HOS 455

SILICA GEL -- "Pleasing"

LCD -- ESO RADIO 7-94 Weird music intro
Men of Earth... "Bob" helping the Children of Jokertown, sold hate to a SubGenius -- Bob was born to sell... selling lightnin' rods... we're here to tell you what you want. You must clear your mind. Now listen. It can backfire. It could happen to yopu too. We don't want to hurt you. Understanding can only be imparted over a long period unless you're spending a lot... or you can pay for the plane ticket to Malaysia... the jungles of Dobbstown... Bob & Gordon...

Starwood Radio Devival w/ Bleepo:
Hey Baby intro, AH YES, we start radio show... (live radio not interesting, do TITLE (MISTAKE) TITLE w/ Bleepo... Bleepo is right here, this is the way it's done... THE POWER, BOB!
HOWLS of Starwood,
Bonfire Procession chants (middle)

YES dear friends, your host and prayer partner Rev. Ivan Stang has been one travellin' evangelist, one truckin' preacher. I have finally returned from Portland, Seattle, Chicago, Atlanta and last but not least, the STARWOOD festival OUT of Cleveland but IN New York, heard here in the background, as the hippies, weirdos and pagans flaunt their nakidity and get ready to start the biggest bonfire you ever saw, so they can dance around it like crazy people. It was a HELL of a Starwood despite the cop roadblocks on the roads leading out of there, ostensibly to check the pagan shamanic drummers and so forth for possession of ENDANGERED SPECIES PARTS such as eagle feathers. They never even noticed my collection of white rhinocerous horns and tiger livers.
ANYWAYS, I always come back from these things with a suitcase full of new tapes... it's SUPPOSED to be a suitcase full of money but what we mostly get is JUST MORE CREATIVITY... HO HUM... the last two Hours of Slack were composed of some of the Atlanta devival tapes... the next two or three shows will be composed of yet more Atlantean material plus...well, we must descend through many levels of tape...

BLEEPO & STANG This 1st hour we're electronic & must tone it down... guaranteed organic. These are HEALING tapes... HoS Unplugged...

While in Cleveland I was VASTLY HONORED to do 2.5 hours of ESO Radio with Lonesome Cowboy Dave, the mighty Chas and even Princess Wei R Doe, there on WCSB in Cleveland, Praise WCSB, Praise Rev. Kole, praise the Flying Lemur Bookstore there in Lakewood... at Starwood, I was scheduled to do -- get this -- a LIVE HOUR OF SLACK from right there ON STAGE in front of all these shirtless hippies, some of them not even MEN, which we did attempt to do with the help of Rev. Bleepo Abernathy Dr. Legume and Regis the mighty sound guy, which you'll be hearing, ... although a radio show is so static to LOOK AT even when it's outdoors under a TENT,


that it devolved into a regular devival pretty quick... that was 2 full hours... Me and Bleepo and St. Stymie de Bergerac and Princess Wei and "Bud" ALSO performed -- get this -- a stage rendition of the old classic Firesign Theater radio play, NICK DANGER!
Oh and I mustn't forget the 2 hours of SubGenius PANEL discussions held at the Dragon Con huge sci fi convention in Atlanta... got loads of tape of that... I tell ya, we pumped out a holy hell of a lot of recorded WORDS and SOUNDZZZ on TAPE. However, most of it has MY VOICE on it, which, while I'll admit it IS the most resonant, sexy, well-turned voice on modern radio, sounding almost infinitely better than I actually look -- at the same time, even I get tired of hearing it. So, luckily, I'll also be playing lots and lots of MUSIC that we got in the form of two new CDs, one being the Joe Newman's new Rudy Schwartz Project CD, SALMON DAVE, and the other... from which the next cut comes -- the first of the non-Negativland CDs produced through their Seeland Records co-op, some wonderful noise by a group called SILICA GEL. Here, then, is the first band deemed good enough by Negativland to be part of their co-op, SILICA GEL. (Incidentally, the second and third groups deemed so worthy are Joe Newman, and the Church of the SubGenius... that's right, our next project will be an Hour of Slack CD series.) But in the meantime... Silica Gel.

SILICA GEL -- The Muscler

we're disorganized, Bob's old girlfirend ERIS -- EXPLAIN TO RADIO AUDIENCE re: tent show, audience, not as much nakidity...

LCD: It was a sumptuous planet... we' have to move on to a NEW PLANET. The Planet Eaters. Just dig in... that's some mighty good planet... salting Jupiter, "I want the red spot!" THE PLANET EATERS. LCD on traditional planet eating... Mt. Olympus went downhill after Dobbs moved it to Malaysia...
The moon is just a condiment. The chef adds the perfect species to each planet for the fine toxic flavors...
(Transmission breaks up -- SPACE sounds) --

We are flying over Mars... giant Pipe volcano on Mars... GIANT HUMAN FACE on Mars... Stuck in this tuna can spinning endlessly through the black depths of space, broadcasting to settlers on the outworld planets...


Caller orders pizza... post industrial? (Anchovies? Bad pizza ad...)
We'll be sending that Grey around to collect those organs... they're our brothers from the stars. Believe anything... they want to teach humanity... lead us into a New Age under their Grey Jackboot... if you wake in a vat, it's the good aliens. THE THING was a Benji of an alien... the alien is a virus... it turns YOU into the alien... but it's WORTH IT! It's GREAT! It's for your own good! What's the matter, CHICKEN? Everybody's doing it. Stroke the alien.. collect the dew... go ahead... now demagnetize your head... I think you know what to do NEXT.
Don't know what to do; stand with your bat call on the hillside. Make sure you have the antidote pudding ready. But it's worth it. You'll dig it. It's always scary the first time. Aren't you susc. to peer group pressure? What are you, some kind of a weirdo?
One of the keys says BOB. You open the door. If you're not lucky... heh heh heh. ((There was this pipe in the furnace... )) What is thre symbology of the pipe? Surely more than juvenile admiration of tobacco? Thevortex of movement that goes in the bowl, up the stem into Bob and out his nostril back into the bowl. The Trickster Indian Pipe Bowl Eater. White Buffalo Woman and the Pipe... Drink Coca Cola. That's the way the aliens always do it -- just when you think they have a message... (caller)... We have a God to be Kidding. We were called. You can be anything this time around. You can be a turkey in the sky, you're trapped being a human. THE GUN!!! The french ...


LCD: Burning the cornstarch off my mucklucks!! You said you would tell me if my face was on fire! My legs are on fire!! Asbestos pads!! STANG IN HELL. Fear is the little death which brings NHGH. Caller... we need more caller souls. The bucket isn't half full yet. BOB won't be pleased! Soul deposits.... killing the soul. Whiffing the caller soul... ticklish soul. Used soul. CHANGE your MIND... chump change in this media swamp... we're talking BIG MONEY. Know what a human soul is worth?

CREDITS & ESO address

I just got back from Portland -- did have a sword swallower & human pincussion. More freak show!

LCD: Cultural Fest on the moon, can't get the bonfire high in that atmosphere... (Just came back from Portland... Everybody's sub around here, even if they don't know it. RADIO SHORTS guy Wes on phone -- studio yak on M&Ms... cathouses... )I spent 2 weeks in Portland, every shop sold espresso, tire shops... all boys had long hair, girls had short hair... wanted to get a haircut... look like a woman... dictate my gender? I'm a bald headed woman in the body of a long haired guy... Stang's Navy hazing experiences in 1929... back before Bob, in Portland, people wear gauntlets... drinking coffee from pita bread. Teenagers dressed as vampires! Maybe they ARE vampires, nobody cares, no good religion or vegetarian cuisine out there. Werewolves and vampires will come, what you believe is TRUE. Freddy Krueger IS real... tatoos aren't enough, the kids have to get Krueger face to be cool. (())When I was a kid it was only kneecapping. That's why we baby boomers do desk jobs. SQUAT echo.
ECHO riff -- Church Air One Soul Per Breath

Silica Gel "REMEMBER"

LCD: NOW do you understand? We told you were were gonna tell you what you really want. We've stuck with the script...

HOS 456

Hendrix Woodstock, "Remember" TITLE, Hendrix "What, me worry?" Church Panel, Atlanta - Kurt on Xians

STARWOOD DEVIVAL/RADIO: Forgot to start the show, Bleepo -- must do Puz Ev intro --
Dr. Howll Intro
Phineas Narco edit of death of Bob) -- Bleepo-Stang version at end) -
- FRIEND ARE YOU READY TO KILL BOB? There's SERIOUS BOBBIES here... how do they prove they trust "Bob"? They'll spout, make up cute stories? Ready to KILL him? Break free from BOB!! Bleepo sings LONESOME TRAIN... Bob was wonderful man... Bob can mean Slack or can SUCK it out of you! BOB SPELLED BACKWARDS STILL SPELLS M.O.O.N....

LCD 7-94 ESO Tape One side 2: Listen to them frogs. FROG FX. Throat FX, AH YES DEAR FRIENDS. The Harvest fx. That bucket's almost full now... them souls are runnin' over the edge. Made a pretty good haul.
Caller: bunch of idiots. We're PAID to be idiots. I feel sorry for those intelligent people... how disturbing to be so painfully aware... EARTHQUAKE... praise Bob we're being punished! We must've done the right thing! You guys are pre-fetal! You're spermatazoic! You're DNA-like! It was genetic humor, ma'am. Once you get that power...

Meet your clandestiny... slavery under Dobbs
NENSLO rant... we don't seriously expect anyone to understand Dobbs. DEVIL WORSHIPPERS etc. by Nenslo!


Church is NEGATIVE! But we have the Janor HATE Crystals... exp. of Janor crystals... GOOD! -- always the Bobbie next to you. The Con never lets you off its leash... LOVE? or FEAR? Which is greater motivator... BOB could sell hate to a SUBGENIUS! HATE RANT -- not the "I hate my job" hate... MUST HATE EVERYTHING!!! good hate-2

More ECHO -- goofy laughing... coffing... Heunh's...
Caller... ashamed of ourselves. Sorry.


CREDITS: "REMEMBER" -- still waiting for good copies of Atlanta... Bob Payne

CHURCH PANEL from Dragon Con -- X-day time zones


Intro to PINK LIFE...
Enough Pink Life... (Hendrix bg) by way, Hendrix fans...
Rev. Bleepo marveling over REVELATION X, 2 years in making, 5 days in stores... book crap... HAL rant from book!

Caller: English woman. Transvestite bars... they live for that moment when they're someone else. They become Marilyn... Liza... that one golden moment, vs. the jobs... SLACK... they may HANG ya for it, but... you take that risk every day. LCD stashes slack...
NOW do you understand? We told you were were gonna tell you what you really want. We've stuck with the script... (caller misc. -- my UFO Lorenzo Blacklance reservation story.... LCD on UFOs in NY... the totem poles are the heads of the UFO pilots... White Buffalo Woman, the Pipe Stone, ... the Iriquois invented the UFO. Indians and enemies... the word "Sioux"... Russel Means... Wounded Kneee... vs. Koresh. WE MUST MAKE TIME MACHINE TO GO TO THE PAST AND CORRECT EVERYTHING!!!But... time contradictions... it's a paradox... the cat in the box... Shroedinger vs. Heidigger, Einstein was sold an elevator and he only had a one story house... but he could USE the elevator in the backwards time stream, he had the last laugh. PARTICLE PHYSICS rant on the continuum. Apes take over the planet.

Any questions? What is Slack? OK then (Fuck 'Em) So much for radio broadcast. NEWS OF THE WEIRD de Bleepo --((NARRATE: Dobbs falls) the limp Dobbshead -- Bob does that too -- Eckankar story, we dared to laugh... leads into SEXHURT rant... just don't have a limp Dobbshead... they can see you...
Bleepo reads News of Weird question about SLACK, concrete woman...
Floatin' in a sea of Slack!

Dave & Chas argue... a Tibetan Moment... Bob and the Dalai Lama. Nothingness. The silence of ONAN.
Occulted knowledge -- BOB has the MAP... we could get that map... free Charlie... we'd GIT them panties, we'd get into the Forbidden Plateau! (SFX break) LJL on ONAN device... laughs on caller line.
From the Land Beyond Beyond... Finnegan's Wake.
Mystical stuff. INSANE

It's time we dipped the chocolate covered prairie squid... stepped on the guitar computer... caller and book quote.beauraucracy) END MY FIRST TAPE

Had this been an actual HoS show... token radio show... token SAMPLED MIX OF
RADIO PREACHERS (Nathan Vinsent)
(Imagine driving down the highway scanning the radio and it land on this...)
We would also cut to other shows... Sister Susie the Floozie... "Death cops a feel" --


LCD in Space (Chas Tape (3)-1 Jokers & Aces; Vietnam is Venus
Credits, Joe Newman YODELIN' SATAN (first song)
LCD in SPACE (My Tape 2, side 1 Dave raves, apocalypse 1998... Nostradamus prophecy 1999 King of Jokery, Edgar Cayce and Jacques Cousteau, caller ... WAKE UP DAVE, it's just a dream... Oz reality dream...
How'd I get here? We've been orbitting... in the little can. Chest burster... you signed up! You thought the corp was a great idea! The little capsule... you didn't read the fine print! You keep having these dreams thinking you're back on earth thinking you're doing these radio shows... The Space Hyena and scorpion rooster creature. Can't look at your own eye... Confronting Dave with his hallucinations. Can't run from your own legs. LJ: The one eye can see the other eye. (JANOR) Metaphysics... can't hide from Bob. Stupider than even YOU -- that's the miracle of it.
"CAN'T HIDE" -- Drs. 4 "Bob"
.Side 2
"CAN'T HIDE" -- Drs. 4 "Bob"
LCD in SPACE (Chas Tape (3)-2 (The 3-D Spatula, non-euclidian, Dave Takes over the world from the Tuna Can, We spent a lot on this capsule, Hendrix, His Suit Prtovides the Medication, 90 Channels of Cable, Voices in the Head, Building up Credits, We Envy You, Off-World Sea-Monkey Farming, (Side 2 part 2 my tape: Caller with request, retarded people talking in my head!!
Sea Monkeys spore LCD... Trying to hear Bob...
LCD's monolog, bored in space... trying on the Mr. Peanut Suit... The Mr. Peanut Fantasy. Kind of sad... is his suit overmedicating him? Why old ad figures? Tell the Cruelty Department... they can start implanting EVIL Mr. Potatoe-Head.
Dave raving...
Does he have any inkling that his silly antics are being broadcast to all the people of earth on the crazy astronaut chanel? Someday he'll be channel surfing and come upon the channel with him on it.
DAVE! Check your stabilizer! You're in a spin! Turn up the oxygen switch! Panicing in the suit when the cleansing fluid... Dave raving to himself with computer... It's just us, the voices in your head. We didn't want you to be alone.
((Comforting Dave) Trying to get the cat off the control panel... the cat's mutated... (( )) try to make friends with it! The cat spider could teach us things. Go on in there Dave. ... Comfort it with music, Dave. The war department is very interested in your little Tabby. ))
((Long bad shit))
And we'll be back to The LCD Flipping out in Outer Space Channel after these words.
(Earthwatch Overpopulation PSA)
Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. Let 'Em Eat Green Cheese.
(Space FX) Is there any coffee on this spaceship? Dave, you have some whiskey stashed someplace... Lost in Space... waiting for his suit to put him to sleep... his suit fed him, lulled him, evacuated his bowels... The Suit punishes and rewards.
Glad he signed up... suit filling him with pride... Zero Gravity Toilet...
more SUIT in Space stuff... taking his helmet off... trying to light cigaret through helmet... Dave talking to his suit... DAVE SINGS TO HIS SUIT... talking to himself... Dave's stream of consciousness... The Suit is your girlfriend... it's clamping down... form-fitting isn't it? That's enough... turn off that function. Now flop him around for his exercises... 5 years of this... he'll probably hit some asteroid. Think of the desert island cartoon men... Abandoned on a distant moon... the Note in the Bottle... in the radio waves, like you've just done for the last 2 hours.

PO Box end

HOS 457

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty outer space from day to day to the last tail leader of recorded tapes. And all our yester'frops have lighted SubGeniuses the way to bad breath. Out, out, brief flashlight batteries -- life is but a walking shadow, a poor pocket pool player who strets and frets his hour of Slack upon the airwaves and then is heard no more. It is a rant yelled by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying... Dobbs.

Yes, welcome to The Hour of Slack.... voice of the Church of the SubGenius.... a celebration of peace, love and understanding, that just happens to take the form of pain, hate and confusion for the GLOBAL VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED. And SLACK, and B...b...BOB.

This old show has gone through many changes recently -- first, losing the station in Dallas and having to rebuild a down & dirty mini-studio at the home office. Now we have moved the entire home office -- yes, the SubGenius Foundation Inc. and Bulldada Time Control, not to mention everything I own in the world, which includes a HELL of a lot of comic books, has all been physically moved to new digs in another part of Dallas, in a new skyscraper. And it has been HELL, friends. I don't mean SubGenius Hell, either. We aren't talking about a single bedroom efficiency with flimsy modern aluminum furniture. We're talking about the countless heavy MASSIVE ANTIQUES on which all our flimsy RECORDING equipment is sitting. Directly behind me is 17 feet of a WALL of TAPES, VIDEOS, FILMS, ALBUMS, CDs, and cat-of-nine-tails. We have a new phone number and a new phsyical addrss although our VIRTUAL address, the Sacred PO Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214, is ETERNAL and shall NEVER CHANGE WHILE I LIVE!!!
So, we had to put off producing the show for 2 weeks... eh... we're lucky there's so much tape laying around here just SCREAMING and BEGGING to be broadcast.

But it's a BRAND NEW BUILDING, too. You know what that means? That means NOTHING WORKS. It was made in America by Union idiots. Every single fixture sprang a leak. Even the electrical ones. It was like the three stooges brought to life. The days of the actual move were all too literally like a 3 Stooges comedy, those stooges being Me as Moe, Tommy Lopez as Curly, and Will O'Dobbs as Larry, with my son Xandar filling the "Shemp" role later, after Curly left.

They say SubGeniuses work best under incredible pressure. Of course they always CAUSE that incredible pressure to build up, by BLOWING EVERYTHING OFF TILL THE LAST MINUTE. THEN, with total disaster breathing down their necks, they PERFORM MAGNIFICENTLY, FAR beyond mere human expectations. It's the FEAR that amplifies the intelligence. The fight or flight syndrome -- makes you 20 times smarter than normal... unless you're a human. Then it's just pure panic. It's like my daughter's theory about the lucidity of the moment of death. My 13 year old says that IF you know you are about to die -- the Mac trucvk's coming straight at you, or whatever -- your brain automatically switches into a higher gear than it has ever been in before. Not only is your whole life replayed in an instant, complete with SMLLS, but you also suddenly realize the perfect, foolproof, and most of all EXTREMELY EASY scheme that would have saved the planet and made a billionaiirre INSTANTLY. But along with that, in those last microseconds of life, comes the frustration of realizing how UTTERLY OBVIOUS it SHOULD have been to you ALL ALONG... how STUPID you were not to think of it! Oh, well, too late now. And what's worse, as Vreedeez mentioned, is that IF you happen to LIVE THROUGH IT... you FORGET! BUMMER.
Well, that's the way it is now. No sooner did we move the ENTIRE CHURCH COFFERS and gear to a new place, and FINALLY unpack and fix the disasters, than I get a PHONE CALL this MORNING that basically says that if I don't fly to San Francisco RIGHT NOW to INSURE NO MATTER WHAT that the new SubGenius book, REVELATION X, FINAL LAYOUT will be done in TWO WEEKS. Period. Or else the project is CANCELED. That's right. That's how late we were. So... it's easy. I just have to drop everything else, spend my life savings getting to the cave of Paul Mavrides and Hal Robins, and help them finish a chapter a day and do all the corrections, and hand-carry the material to the publishers in New York. That's all. That, and DO THE 5 OVERDUE HOUR OF SLACK RADIO SHOWS BEFORE I LEAVE!!!!! So this, dear friends, is the ultimate Slack of SubGenius Horror, or something like that. This is the hand Dobbs dealt us. Will we then be jokers, or aces? Or more likely just pull a black queen and explode. The next 14 days will tell. Wish me luck in assembling 2 months worth of tapes into 5 hours of Slack between now and tomorrow? Send, after that, your prayers towards the Bay for me, and Mavrides, and Dr. Howll to somehow have the ENERGY and BRILLIANCE to finish what we started two years ago, before the Conspiracy pulls the plug, leaving us with the greatest unpublished book in all history and a BILL for $20 THOUSAND DOLLARS. Amen.

We don't know a whole lot about the Anti"Bob". We know of various false prophets that people may mistake for the Anti"Bob". But we don't really know who the Anti"Bob" is yet. This we do know: how his name is spelled, ,,oBo,,, w/ to small os and a great big B in the middle, and upside down quotes... but get this: just as "Bob" can sell you anything -- anything "Bob" tries to sell you, you will buy -- the Anti"Bob", by the same token, gets you to sell things to HIM. He BUYS things from YOU. But the horrible thing is, if he wants to buy it, you will sell it. And you may not get the very best price for it, needless to say. If he wants to buy your car, you'll sell him your car. If he wants you to sell him your house, you'll sell him your house. If he wants you to sell your kid, you'll sell your kid. And if he wants you to sell something equally precious -- your soul -- you will sell that to the Anti"Bob"... and you will notget the best price.
Whereas when "Bob" sells something to you, he will get the best price.
So that's the difference between "Bob" and the Anti"Bob". With "Bob", when he leaves, you've got something that you didn't have before... aside from a debt. You HAVE some THING that "Bob" sold you... and that's more important than the debt. Even if it's something broken...or an encyclopedia that's 40 years out of date -- the fact that "Bob" sold it to you make sit much more valuable than any money you may have spent on it. Whereas with the Anti"Bob", he takes something away. Sure, you may get MONEY, but the fact that the Anti"Bob" is the one who took it... it'll never be worth that money. He takes AWAY your Slack. That thing was Slack until he bought it from you. That's WHY he bouyght it. It's YOUR SLACK. He took it away. "BOB" SELLS YOU HIS SL:ACK, and it's the purest, purest Slack there is. It's the juiciest, richest, most orgasmic Slack; ithis Slack that "Bob" sells you is so seething and broiling with purew SLackfulness, ....ah, it gets me excited just thinking about it.


Ace Ventura subline, Title, Narcocollage "Show" stuff from #4
RANT on "Inside Jokes"

H 458 Hours of Slack in the can, 458 Hours of Slack... get one down and dub it and send it around, 458 Hours of Slack on the air...
Okay... this is the second show I have to do today... let's try for more of an editing challenge this time. Of course that means I won't be able to talk much, or cut in and give credits, because I must needs SINK into the EDIT MODE, yes... it takes superSubGenius CONCENTRATION... and when I'm deep in that mode, I'm out of SPEECH mode. It's wither RANT, or EDIT. And tonight I feel like editing. So here's what it's gonna be -- THE INSIDE JOKE HOUR OF SLACK. Has your SHOW become too... NORMAL for you? Too... FAMILIAR? Well, we'll just have to FIX THAT. You already know all ABOUT how BOB is the center of the universe and Slack is the be-all of all being. HO HUM. But what about The Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer? What about Aunt Bertha? What about, yea, even Suzy's lizards? Well, just to prove that SubGeniuses can be just HI-LARIOUSLY FUNNY even when making NO SENSE AT ALL -- it just SOUNDS good -- we present these excerpts from, uh, the following: Well, first off we'll have some keen Rudy Scwartz Project music from the YODELIN' SATAN and SALMON DAVE albums by Joe Newman. Just to get us in the right frame of mind. THEN, it's PURE RITUAL. Some introduction to the real INSIDE-ARNOLD PALMER-HEAD doctrine as preached by yours truly Rev. Ivan Stang and Dr. Bleepo Abernathy at the STARWOOD hippie-fest in or near Ohio. Then the Old-timey SubGenius rituals as recorded live at last month's Dragon Con sci-fi convention SubGenius Devival in Atlanta, starring Janor Hypercleats and the Swingin' Love Corpses, a live recording of the most self-referential Head Launching ever. Somewhere in there we will hear the heinous SEXHURT RANT of Rev. Suzie the Floozy of Atlanta, as well as, perhaps, cuts from her radio show on WREK in Atlanta. Not necessarily last but probably nearly the least, more from our broadcast with Lonesome Cowboy Dave and Rev. Chas Smith on Swamp Rot radio, WCSB Clevelend... BUT... before we go ANY DEEPER...


BUT... before we go ANY DEEPER... I have to explain to you... AUNT BERTHA. Yes, Dr. Howl of the KPFA SubGenius show has, for years, been doing, eh, shall we say TAKE-OFFs on an obscure figure from his childhood. As a mere tot, Hal and his brother used to hear on the radio something called Dial-A-Prayer with Aunt Bertha... some nasty old fundamentalist biddy whose tales of the terrors besetting young TIMMY and BILLY when they ERRED, CURDLED the blood of the equally BAD young Robins brothers. Aunt Bertha is dead now, yet LIVES ON as channelled by the unwilling Dr. Howll, with the help of Puzzling Evidence, Father Joe Mamma, and the famous callers such as Dr. Phineas Narco, who actually recorded of the air, and EDITED, these media barrages of AUNT BERTHA ATTACKS. Thank you.

AUNT BERTHA Phineas Narco tapes of the SHOW


STARWOOD 94 "radio": Let's just do devival... and radio show...) We were just given a donation, ARNOLD PALMER BOOK readings... ((misc. launching crap)) Palmer was washed up on the seas of Mars... 9 irons = 9-inch worms... INSIDE BOB'S HEAD, SAME AS INSIDE A GOLF BALL. (Insane Hollow Earth-Golf Ball rap) + hamster bleepo stunt. LEGALIZE DRUGS & ABORTION to weed out humans. ABORTIONS. Maybe you shouldn't have taken some today...

ATLANTA: HEAD LAUNCHING w/ SLC: Christian Stadiums, Long Launching...

ESO SWAMP RADIO: Use CHAS TAPE (2) Launching... Soul is made of Hair, Selling Souls, POWER rant, Wes calls, then:
The Head is Launched for Thee... or Janor. Tired of that cosmic stuff. Down to that earthy good ol' time stuff. LCD tired of modern day stuff... GREAT... we could be space travelling billionaiires! It burns me up. You guys sound like idiots.
BEAT ME TO A PULPIT... Dave on the Heunh sound. OM vs. Heunh. peters out.
Not funny... put the gun down Dave... Just give me the keys to the truck... Dave goes to the hive chamber... too bad about his mind.

SIDE 2 Starwood '94 rant/radio
Wrong time to do it! We could be sued by LSD users... SOUL being scooped into cannister... RAKEE vs. rake acubeating...
((scientoligist & etc. bad))

Rev. Susie the Floozie Rant

ADDRESSES, Suzy end rant.

HoS 459

Open from 286, Jello Biafra, Title, Nick Danger cut
It all happens by accident... perverted ideas of why Bob is powerful... think it's GENIUSES but too shy! BOB not SMART, Lucky -- If slack was Water. You HAVE the Slack -- some you're lettin' it go -- can't appreciate until taken away!
Moment of Noise
We had all these tapes -- can't do... unzip your lips, BEND OVER, HERE COMES BOB!!

Credits & Rudy Schwartz
LCD IN SPACE tape 2: Caller... hurled convicts at Jupiter. Cool executions... OJ rednecks... Bababooie... MIDNIGHT rant -- the evil swamp of those who shouldn't be on the streets... LCD bum.... homeless routines... the Third Rail... I wanna be just like Bob, pee on that 3rd Rail... insane noise...
Old C&W song, anti Commie song.
Bob's no commie... would sell you the shirt off your back. SONG con't.

STARWOOD RADIO: They make fun of Xians... just a parody... we're not here to make fun, here to HATE! All religion is a pep talk -- every religion is US VS Them.
The prudes, prigs wheezers (BOOK RANT STARTS)
God's answer to fundamentalists... Where SubGenii came from!

SUSIE's show: "TRIBUTE TO DEATH" rant w/ Flight Final

Philo in studio -- Tarzan's Radio Station
LCD in space Tape 2:LCD shrinking intellect bedtime story..
Glad I got that on tape.
LCD: HOMO RANT: Bob was homo... Homo yak, makes me uncomfortable... if I had the wig, it'd be okay... gotta be in the mood. LJL & Connie Merkin... REVELATION X -- merkin on her head. If they can just bust free their chains! NAIL it to the table! (PAUL) Explanation of the Merkin... Sinatra's colostomy bag vs. Bob's pipe. Bob's pipe is an amplifier... not the controller. Is there any Bob left, or just pipe. The autopsy showed Bob only had one beer. How many did you have?
Magic merkin ferrets, the plague was carried by fleas, those foolish medieval people vs. our advanced medical treatment. (I like to be bled.)

STARWOOD RADIO: Shove this Church. Bleepo reads too... Are you weird? Bad? etc.
But you can show off your special surgery here, but they've already rounded us up... etc.
can't tell a joke .. (Bleepo -- that's not funny) --

JOE NEWMAN (Yodelin' instrumental)
KPFA: "Dear Dr. Animal" narco
"People Who Died" from Susie's

HOS 460

Time Machine anticommercial quote, Title
Narco-cut SHOW #4 "Musical cuts" Jim E. "Gotta See Like Bob"
STARWOOD '94 RADIO-DEVIVAL: Belief in some old man (woman) in the clouds won't help-- (good) Don't pray, you don't know what might be listening!There exists an army... Xians drink the SYMBOLIC blood!Con has hogged fascism too long...To destroy money, it's gonna take money. .... Right in this crowd, there aren't many loving Christians who want to kill us...
Jesus was just like Bob... the HARVEST.... Dracula line" Your puny god is no match for my great Power."
.LCD IN SPACE: The Rupture... who can you truss? Who will give you that feeling of support? My thorax tried to pop out... Craniums & septums. Raving... cosmic... The Guy Deuel Septum Painting Story. (PAUL & GUY) The evil septum... Elvis Swordfighting black velvet picture...
The Dogs playing poker painting will come true after X-Day in downtown bars. Mongreloids... transformations into celebrities... Bob-Dog-JFK surgery... teenager fads of the future! Teenage girls who look like Snoopy. People who look like Bob...

Narco-cut SHOW #4 "Musical cuts" Jim E. "Dobbsmobile", "Jack Please Don't Go", "Branded",
"Dudley DoRight" Rudy Schwartz Project, "Mr. PINCUSSION MAN", "POP SONG"
Credits, addresses, LCD "the script" rap
Narco-cut SHOW #4 "Musical cuts" Hal sings about arteries,
PHILO IN STUDIO... The SubGenius Mobius Strips...

PHILO IN STUDIO... The SubGenius Mobius Strips... the truth and the antitruth, COSMIC RAP... THE "NOTHING" equation!!! Tarzan's Radio Station: Cheetah's Headphones, Tevis enters, Cheetah's Living Word, Names of Boxes in the Studio, I send the Tapes...
Woodstock crap... eat the blue acid...
STARWOOD: Tear down the fences... eat the blue acid...
I wanna be like Bob... you don't TRY. To have a head like the inside of a golf ball... achieve NOMIND...
SLC: "DOKSTOK MOUNTAIN" SLC at Woodstock '94
PHILO IN STUDIO... THE "NOTHING" equation!!! The Excuse of the Drs. for Chronic Self Indulgence, the "Nothing", Drawing Diagrams on a Radio Talk Show...
Credits, addresses, LCD "the script" rap
Narco-cut SHOW #4 "Musical cuts" Hal sings to caller, GREAT HAL C.I.A. SONG!!!, '70s horror, Great HAL stuff, Country song "I'm a Gonna Kill You",
"PEOPLE WHO DIED" song from Susie's... & Jayne Mansfield Death Report

HoS 461
Johnny Winter, TITLE, "Honky Tonk On the Moon"
Credits, rant:
AH YES dear friends, it's so good to be back in the barrel again... I mean the SADDLE, the saddle on this brother-buckin' bronco of a show. It's been four shows for you, but only 2 weeks for me... 2 weeks in the crucible of finishing, or LOSING, the new SubGenius book. And we DID IT!!! Yes, we FINISHED THE FINAL LAYOUT of the LAST PAGE of the LAST CHAPTER!! And it looks SO COOL EVEN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! Theoretically it'll hit the stores in November, and you'll see that I WOULD NOT LIE TO YA regarding how INTENSE this thing LOOKS. Ahaaaa... we'll make MILLIONS!! MILLIONS! K-MILLIONS!!
To backtrack -- two weeks or four shows ago I was informed that the REVELATION X book project was CANCELED by the publishers because we had run too late over the deadline, and that I therefore had to RETURN THE FIRST HALF OF THE ADVANCE MONEY and never see the book published. For, you see, St. Paul Mavrides had gotten VERY VERY SICK in August and had been unable to keep up the inhuman pace of layout I had stuck him with. Also, the California State Board of Equalization tax monsters were using him as a test case in order to screw ALL CALIFORNIA CARTOONISTS to bail out their bankrupt state. There were five chapters left to go... 60 pages of the kind of layout you can't IMAGINE until you see it. Faced with potentially the worst disaster of my, or anybody else's, life, or lives, I told the publishers at Simon & Schuster that I would see that the book was finished in TWO WEEKS. For 11 days, work of truly heroic, epic proportions was accomplished by St. Paul, Dr. Hal and myselfe. (Not to mention the other 40 contributors whose various pieces we were juggling.) "Bob's" stable of artists truly had to shovel their own in this Herculean task. We worked 20-hour days - I KID YOU NOT - living on coffee and vitamins, barking and snapping at each other, alienating all our friends, and, on Sept. 14 (my 21st wedding anniversary), Paul and I got the final master pages to Federal Express in downtown San Francisco 5 minutes before they closed. The book was saved - in fact, it makes THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS look like a fanzine piece of trash by comparison - and we were KIND OF TIRED.
So tonight we're recuperating. We're... taking it easy. SLACK, baby. Like Puzzling Evidence, we'll let Dr. HOWLL do most of the work tonight. While I was toiling with the Bay Aryans I didn't have time to DO show there, but I at least came back with a good recording of a particularly clear and unmuddied Berkeley SubGenius show starring Dr. Howll Robins, as WELL as a couple of tapes of the kind of MUSIC that these two definitively sick artists, Hal Robins and Paul Mavrides, like to listen to while they're ... eh, cartooning. You would think that underground cartoonists in San Francisco, particularly ones known for the particularly BLACK and SARDONIC eh, "humour," which MARKS the SubGenius materials, would listen to some sort of hideous anti-music death rock industrial noise garbage. NO! These most CYNICAL and HILARIOUSLY DEPRESSING of professional cartoonists listen to HAPPY CHEERFUL CARTOON MUSIC and ATROCIOUS VERSIONS of idiotic hits, and obscure country western novelty tunes, and space age bachelor pad lounge music. So, for the next two shows, I'll be mixing Dr. Howll's tour de forcee from KPFA berkely with his and Paul's and Nenslo's collection of HORRIFYINGLY CUTE & CLOYING MUSIC. I think you'll dig it. And, of course, this being a SubGenius show, we'll ALSO no doubt cut away to the STARWOOD live radio devival with Bleepo where I preach from the new book a lot, and Susie's Atlanta show from WREK and the PHILO guestings and... atrocious Swinging Love Corpses hits... but mostly I think I'll let Dr. Howll take it away, and when you hear his CREATION MYTHOLOGY segment you'll SEE WHY. Praise Dobbs.

KPFA HAL 9-8-94: Misc.
"Cigaret Milner" by Tommy Collins; credits;
More HAL on $$
"Rubber Room," Porter Waggoner
Side 2:
"LSD Made a Wreck Outa Me" (T. Bubba Scruggs)
More Hal

HoS 465
Leary-Hendrix intro, WellmanWREK edit, title/Radio Shorts flub intro/Intro Rap + "Real SubGenius biblical rap/ "Kennedy Death Car by TROUBLE W/ LARRY/ Nathan Vinson cut/ Bad KPFA-WREK mix/ Radio Shorts: "Michael Jackson," "Intolerance is a Beautiful Thing"/ Rant: "Guide to SATANIC CULT ABUSE", credits/ Nathan Vinson "Candyman"
SIDE 2: NEWS OF THE WEIRD + FUNNY PAGES / Sosodada music/ PO Box/ Mix of ReTard's Warren Duffy "Bob"-Xian lines/ CNF!

Send to: Trouble w/ Larry, Radio Shorts, Nathan Vinson, BABY SUE, Chuck Shepherd, Funny Pages, TARDS, Sosodada, CNF

HoS 466
Title/ CNF/ Radio Shorts "Jim Jones" song/ NEWS OF THE WEIRD rap/ Dr. Howl -- "SubGeniusland," "Aunt Bertha Elephant," Money Tiger / Radio Shorts: "Cartoon Music Sampler"
Side 2: JEWEL IN THE LOTUS + News of the Weird/ CNF/ Radio Shorts "Apocalypse Now" mix/ P.O. Box/ Dr. Howl: "Spar Stangled Bangle" / Long Hair song/ Lonesome Cowboy Dave ugly music

Send to: CNF, Radio Shorts, Chuck Shepherd, HAL, LCD, Stefan Hammond

HoS 467
Send to: Legume, Radio Shorts


Can you imagine how a Negroidal SubGenius feels, listening to a bunch of caucasian HUMANS argue about THE BELL CURVE?

Ah yes dear friends... I bet YOU can't tell from where YOU'RE sitting, but from where I am, this particular show is LATE, LATE LATE!! I should already have duplicated the 14 copies and be SENDING THIS SHOW OUT right now instead of just now starting to PRODUCE it. "Now why is that preacher Rev. Ivan Stang always making excuses," you ask. Well, because, being ensconced here at the apex of the Church, just a few notches below Dobbs himself, MY excuses are EXCITING!! This time, it's not our new book, REVELATION X. That's all done and we're just doing p.r. stuff now. In fact, by the time you hear this, you may very well already have your copy in your hot little hands, claws or pinchers. They print that might book November 18th and the OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE, the date they pick to indicate when they think it'll start hitting stores, is.... get this... NOVEMBER 22! You can't say Dobbs doesn't love ya now, Jack. YES! REVELATION X, the NEW THIRD LAST TESTAMENT, THE BOBAPOCRYPHON, a simon & schuster publication, will be OUT THERE for all to see and bask in.
And my excuse is NOT that I've been running around preaching on car hoods and sleeping in flea-bitten motel rooms. That'll be my excuse next month. But I should probably mention 'em now -- 2 big devivals in December -- Dec. 2 in CLEVELAND, sponsored by THE FLYING LEMUR bookstore in Lakewood, the MIGHTY Flying Lemur, which sponsors this show on adorable WCSB, and I do not have the exact location yet, but you can CALL the Flying Lemur and ask, got that pencil ready, that number is 216-221-2535, that's a nice devival on Friday Dec. 2. Maybe Indian Rope Burn will play too. Then a week later we got the PHILADELPHIA devival, Dec. 9, at a REAL CHURCH that's been turned into a nightclub and called... THE CHURCH.. That devival is sponsored by Pastor Craig Roll, who hosts the show on mighty WKDU, and will feature yours truly as well as the terrifying Dr. K'taden Legume and the great Father JOE MAMA, and THE BEATLES! -- no, sorry, I mean John BARTLES. Dues paying Ordained Members will get postcards about these shows.
But my excuse for this week partakes of none of those... nay, but in the fact that I have been SURFIN' the INTERNET! Yes, The SubGenius Foundation can now take on the roll of Global Village Idiot on the Information Superhighway. I finally hooked up the modem that Philo gave me, got an America online account, and I'm just WAITING for my FREE INTERNET ACCESS SPECIAL account to come through so it won't be costin'. So now, when I give the Sacred PO Box number at the end of the broadcast, I'll also be giving the Church HQ E-MAIL number! And you ordained members will be glad to know that, now that we've managed to get a handle on the technology and learn the jargon, what we're mainly working on is the STARK FIST OF REMOVAL church magazine, ON LINE. YES! I'll be dumping the magazine in progress into alt.slack on the internet, tweaking it and adding to it interactively, and when it's all done we'll publish it on paper for everybody ELSE who doesn't have their very BRAIN linked to a computer and modem yet.
Let me backtrack and explain this to ye who have not yet tried to CROSS that information superhighway, for many indeed are the virtual dead dog corpses dotting the sides of that highway. One week ago, before my CRASH COURSE in NERD-SPEAK, I was BARELY AWARE of all this so I can sympathize if this already sounds like gobbledegook to you.
The Internet is this invisible place, like Heaven or Hell, where people can leave electronic junk lying around for each other to fish out. Mostly it's text messages and programs, although with enough know-how and gear you can send and receive art, sounds, etc. There are MILLIONS of humans pluggd into it, all over the world. And it breaks down into THOUSANDS of categories. Now, in the category called "alternative," which is where most of the WEIRD stuff happens, there is a special mini-network among all the others called alt dot slack, which is where the SubGeniuses have been eaving messages to each other for several years now. There are several THOUSAND messages sitting in it right now. And there are also OTHER SubGenius electronic meeting places on OTHER networks besides the internet, like for instance America Online has a Church of the SubGenius board located under their PHILOSOPHICAL MATTERS heading in their HOBBIES department called the EXCHANGE. But alt.slack on the Internet is, for now, probably the most-used SubGenius dump. Now, I don't know who started alt.slack, and nobody is moderating it -- in other words, it's an endless series of unrelated topics being discussed. And it's also cluttered with topics that have been automatically and senselessly dumped in there from other nerd networks. So when you first start looking for interesting, slack-imbued material on there, you're met with total chaos and the equivalent of thousands of pages of garbage that has nothing to do with the Church or the war against the Conspiracy. You're also met with some of the lamest SubGenius wanna-be geekliness imaginable. It's kind of like wandering around a comic book convention. And since I'm, you know, Mr. Famous-Guy SubGenius, when I made my presence known there I was additionally greeted by the expected combination of groveling butt-kissing and overly defensive rebelliousness and insults. But that'll die down. DESPITE ALL THAT, this is all TREMENDOUSLY EXCITING to me, because amidst all that False Slack there are also lurking some KEEN INDIVIDUALS INDEED, and the POTENTIAL for the whole thing is practically INFINITE. Now, Dr. Drummond and I have been developing a PLAN. We have no intention of hobbling the chaotic , eh, what most of us would call LAME IDIOTIC CHILDISH BLABBERING by those so-called SubGenii who have NO LIVES. We do however plan to give the newcomer an ALTERNATIVE to all that, by creating new, CLEARLY MARKED CATEGORIES which, taken altogether, will represent INTRODUCTIONS to the CHURCH, and the STARK FIST Church magazine IN PROGRESS. In other words, if you enter alt.slack on the internet, you can go straight to where the most RECENT few hundred messages are, and you will find categories which were started by us at the Foundation but which are also being constantly updated and added to by others. Here are some of the organizational categories that would comprise the online Stark fist, or for that matter the online HOUR OF SLACK:

CURRENT HoS stations & times
And it would ALL be FREE.

Again, we have no intention of corralling alt.slack or cleaning up the chaos, so to speak. Wouldn't DREAM of it even if we could. We merely want to put little ISLANDS of USEFUL ORGANIZATION into it for those of us who don't really have time or money to wade through the randomness.
You may be saying, Rev. Stang, even if I had a computer and modem I wouldn't be interested in messing with all this computerese jargon and Bobbie blabber, I'm a down-home SubGenius who just wants SLACK so why don't you SHUT UP and play some damn TAPES!! So I will. But I just wanted to let you know what else is out there now besides this show and the books, that you can tap into, exploit, and add your own sickness to, in the name of that man Dobbs. OK OK SLACK SLACK!

E-mail number: (all one "word") SUBGSTANG1@aol-dot-com

HoS 465
Leary-Hendrix intro, WellmanWREK edit, title/Radio Shorts flub intro/Intro Rap + "Real SubGenius biblical rap/ "Kennedy Death Car by TROUBLE W/ LARRY/ Nathan Vinson cut/ Bad KPFA-WREK mix/ Radio Shorts: "Miachael Jackson," "Intolerance is a Beautiful Thing"/ Rant: "Guide to SATANIC CULT ABUSE", credits/ Nathan Vinson "Candyman"
SIDE 2: NEWS OF THE WEIRD + FUNNY PAGES / Sosodada music/ PO Box/ Mix of ReTard's Warren Duffy "Bob"-Xian lines/ CNF!

Send to: Trouble w/ Larry, Radio Shorts, Nathan Vinson, BABY SUE, Chuck Shepherd, Funny Pages, TARDS, Sosodada, CNF

HoS 466
Title/ CNF/ Radio Shorts "Jim Jones" song/ NEWS OF THE WEIRD rap/ Dr. Howl -- "SubGeniusland," "Aunt Bertha Elephant," Money Tiger / Radio Shorts: "Cartoon Music Sampler"
Side 2: JEWEL IN THE LOTUS + News of the Weird/ CNF/ Radio Shorts "Apocalypse Now" mix/ P.O. Box/ Dr. Howl: "Spar Stangled Bangle" / Long Hair song/ Lonesome Cowboy Dave ugly music

Send to: CNF, Radio Shorts, Chuck Shepherd, HAL, LCD, Stefan Hammond

HoS 467
Send to: Legume, Radio Shorts

HoS 465-6

Open: Psy. Sauna; Blues "Mannish Boy" Read: Funny Pages
Szukalski rant
Stang & Bleepo Devival/Radio Show-- STARWOOD '94

Mention FLYING LEMUR bookstore, Cleveland


Pink Boy Comes to Bobyon
HAL show
Starwood Devival
Nanzi Atlanta, MIKE at Atlanta
Bartles Dogtown
Mathes new
R. Stevie Moore
Philo Show

CARTOON MUSIC: Canned Meat -- Carnival of Souls, Beefheart, bad Zappa imitation "loitering", goofy rock instrumental, REAL goofy instru "March of Tin Soldiers", weird "doktor" stuff, TAMMY FAYE Swaggart song, Esquivel jazzy?, zippy work music, LSD cuts, I'm so DIZZY SIDE 2: "voice box" song "I'm Walking", jazzy syntho inst., acid rock, sleepy synth inst., tinpan swing JAPANESE song, another Jap song, male Jap song, stupid synth "Spinnin' Wheel", insane song of weird yowls, WEIRD synth sounds,
Peckerwoods on Parade
Nenslo songs

LOVE CORPSES: Battle of the OverMen, Hideous House, Pyramid Power, Necrophiliac; Floppin' In a Bag, Led Zep Medley, Philo Rap & Nature, I Hate It, Downbeat Riffs, Head Launching, (Rev. Mike Ro Phone & Rev. Nanzi Regalia )
Dokstok Mtn., Bad Motherfucker, Dancin' With a Hard-On, Paranoid, My Girlfriend Is a Poebucker
Pick a Booger, Party Train, Dobbs Approved with Janor Hypercleats

Nick Danger excerpt Sales Table

Stang rant on class?
(Bit from tape about being snubbed in this neighborhood, then: Jello Biafra, Mark Hosler & me next.
(End:) Communism is OK but 10,000 years ahead of its time. Not for Homo Sapiens, for Homo Overman. Capitalism is the thing, because this is still a dog eat dog world. When everyone is as wise, informed, Slackful and humble and confident as me, it will cease to be a problem and the lower classes won't be looking down on the upper classes anymore, OR EVEN VICE VERSA.

Dr. Legume intro...
-- about initiation...
It's make you wet yourself.
Little kid came to me, everybody avoided this weird kid... I asked him... he was BETTER than they were... surrounded by mundane kids... no slack. (REPETITIVE)
A lot of people talk about the Con... it's in your house, in their house, pointing fingers... the only person who spoke to him was a SubGenius... XX

Stang's show got canceled in Texas... did not empower common man. If it wasn't for Church, I'd of climbed that tower with a rifle.
Church needs money... people like me who'll climb the tower, TAKE BACK MY SLACK. You gotta TAKE it... ((bob shirt))
Come into the darkness with me and my spike... little man!! You can laugh, blabber about Bob... jack off through stigmata hole... we'll see if Bob will protect you... Want your triple your money back? I'd give half of you your $60 back right now.
(END side 2 part one)

PART 2 side 1

I'll be carrying my garbage out in a bag made of all your skins... he'll make you into a corn on cob little man... ((rotisserie , pig will spin on Stang)) (End)

Late tonight Dr. Legume will initiate you...

Tear down the fences... eat the blue acid...
I wanna be like Bob... you don't TRY. To have a head like the inside of a golf ball... achieve NOMIND...
The only real heresy is orthodoxy... I'm from Orthodox Stangian... I am MOST heretical because most orthodox.

(Book reading) -- Quit trying to be like those Pink Jerks... only Bob can show you how...

Firebirds and Camaros
Everything just like on TV
Insensate Meat Puppets! (Good)

You moron! (Work rant)
Everyone equally RICH!
Work Ethic is Satanic! (good)
(good bleepo) work rant con't.
Start being pessimistic
Things could be much much worse. (end con rant)

You'll love this new method for exterminating... Bob has come to help you pull the wool... you can learn to masturbate without going blind!
Bob is a sex god... rationalize your sins. brings an excuse...
A purer squirt than drugs, bible or TV...

God is everywhere... slack without guilt...

This is the organized part... where's Lonesome Cowboy Dave?

Not on the radio anymore... can we cuss?
Church to negate the smarmy puritanism... xx
The Church has no choice -- have to sweep over US or time will stop... practical joke that we don't stick around for... Earth is the straight man...
Vast bodiless intentions, locked in a struggle... we are their weapons. July 5 1998!!
X-Day bit!
If you choose Bob's door...
Two paradises. In my father's midway are many bumper car rides... SG Hell
SubG Heaven

SubG preachers -- pissed at right wing talk shows, you can get on your soapbox... type up rant, then edit it, maybe nobody's listening, but who cares if you think they do... FAITH is all that counts. As Dr. Legume says when that spike is coming...

When X-Day comes, the RUPTURE -- WHERE does 7 am start? We can watch Europeans being ruptured on TV... where the big X-Day? Right here!
Watching X-Day on TV at Starwood... News reports on x-day... What if we're watching, they turn into burning monks? -- WAIT a minute, Bob... IF you have faith? It's merely the SHELL...
Sex Goddesses, Gods?

Monocromosomal Sex Goddesses... my essay on Escape Vessels... ))

They want the PILS. You never come DOWN. Don't take too much the first time because it won't wear off. We usually have a bucket.. same thing inside head of Bob.

Any questions? The acid in the pills... (misc. audience questions) -- xerox won't work. Annointing ink.
Robert Tilton rap -- prosperity ministry. Attorney General hasn't pulled out the ATF yet... who's spending the money most wisely? Dr. Gene Scott. You don't want a STUPID preacher..-- Honesty on the airwaves...

We could all be space-travelling billionnairres... this is my job...xx

SUBGENIUS DIET... no admonitions... no SubG takes orders.... we won't tell you... BOB might BE world overlord!
Bob hates you... doesn't know you, but hates you... I'm not alone.. he hates me...

Bob hates but loves you... good & evil are one thing... old lady,,, for all we know he's developing AIDS virus... PROBABLY not, but he COULD... if so, SO BE IT!!! Don't use mind to think about religion! Might as well join the Catholics... Bob sold it I smoked it that settles it.

The soul is in the foot... like the rhino horn, it is made of hair. We'll ofer $50 to anyone who